Wednesday 23 April 2008

Spot check

A Thai man in his 20s boarded the bus. He was with his mother, who was in her 50s.

The young man was good-looking, but had been admired before. When I cast a glance at him, I felt he was aware of my gaze. He was used to people admiring his clear-faced appearance.

He shifted uncomfortably, as if he disliked the attention.

His mother had several growths under one eye.

They sat next to each other. Soon after they had seated themselves, the mother put her head to one side and fell asleep. He head touched her son's shoulder.

For westerners, that's too close. Mothers do not fall asleep in the bus and expect their sons to support their heads.

A few moments later, she woke, and raised her head. I felt relieved.

A family I know runs an Esan food eatery close to my office. The woman who runs it is in her 40s, and has a son who has left school and is about to enter the police force.

Occasionally, I stop to talk to them. Once a year, I drink and have something to eat there.

When I first met the family, the young man had just started secondary school. Every day on the way to work, I walk past their busy shop, which runs for 20m along the sidewalk on one side.

One night recently, I visited with a friend. The young man turned up late in the evening. He gave his mother a wai, and started to help run shop.

We were seated off the street in what, during the day, serves as a car-park for trucks. The shop owner sets up tables in there at night, after the carpark is no longer in use. It is behind a wire fence.

When she puts tables in there, she can effectively double the space of her shop, which is narrow if confined to the sidewalk. To get in there, we duck through holes in the fence.

They have also created a children's play and sleep area inside the fence, so regulars who bring their children can put them somewhere while they drink.

Mum normally serves food, but if she wants a break can ask her young staff to take over. She employs Esan girls to serve customers, cut up vegetables, and wash dishes in plastic tubs.

Her husband, who works for the same company as me, helps at the shop if he is free.

Late in the evening, Mum and son appeared on our side of the fence. They examined each other. First, the son looked at something on his mother's head. He parted the hair on her head to get a good look.

Then, Mum inspected on her son's back.

He pulled up his shirt. Mum squeezed a spot.

This was probably the first time they had seen each other in a long day.

Do mothers in the West do this? Beyond her son's teenage years, probably not. It's just too intimate and personal.

Children probably would not offer to do it for their parents, unless they were very old.

Here, the same rules do not apply. Because it is so different, it is touching, and heart-warming to watch.

1 comment:

  1. I've observed the same intimacy between a father and his healthy and good-looking, teen-age son. He would stop to adjust the lock of hair that covered the son's forehead and looked lovingly at him, and with pride, while attending to me in their tyre workshop.

    ReplyDelete

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