It's all UK to me, the farang cafe provider

Farang C was horrified at the size of his phone bill: B5,000. 'I must cut down on calls to my family in the United Kingdom,' he said.

We went to the Central Department store yesterday, so he could pay his bill.

He pays by the month. I pay on a top-up basis, B100 a time, which means I never have enough money to make expensive overseas calls.

On his behalf, I asked the sales staff what farang C should do to save money on overseas calls. Should he be on a different pay plan?

A girl behind the counter pulled out a form which gave the calling rates for various countries.

We looked up ‘UK’ on the list. For good measure, the saleswoman also told me how much calls to the Ukraine cost (more than B20 a minute).

Eh? Maybe she thought they were both the same thing.

I wanted to know about the UK, and the Ukraine starts with the same two letters. No wonder she was confused.

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The Central Department store was too far away for boyfriend Maiyuu and me to visit regularly when we lived in Thon Buri.

From our new place, however, it is just a five-minute taxi ride away. We are also close to Tops supermarket.

At Central, I went past a Starbucks coffee shop, which brought back memories...Maiyuu used to take me there for a chat after we finished shopping. If I could turn back time, I'd love to eavesdrop on that nine-year-old conversation ...I wonder if we sounded much different than we do now.

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On the way home, farang C and I stopped at a small gay-owned cafe/restaurant in Silom.

The owner is a gay farang. His Thai boyfriend Mr P is the host, and greets guests as they arrive.

Two gay serving staff were also there. We met them briefly, along with the boyfriend’s parents, who help cook.

Mr P has two teen brothers who appeared to regard the eatery as a second home; they walked in and out of the place, and an internet shop next door, most of the night.

It looks like a family affair, though without farang J's large pockets, none of it would exist.

Farang J and his boyfriend Mr P, met seven years ago at the pool of the Babylon Hotel.

Back then, farang J visited Bangkok on his holidays. He was in the pool one day when Mr P grabbed him for a laugh.

Was it love at first sight? Who knows. Maybe they grew on each other.

Farang J invited Mr P to Europe. They married in a civil union, and lived there together for seven years, where Mr P learnt his excellent English.

Recently, farang J quit his job in Europe, and the couple returned to Thailand to live.

Now in Bangkok, he has opened his own business. The cafe where we were sitting has been open two months.

He relies mainly on word of mouth, though he has also left leaflets about his gay cafe at his old stamping ground, the Babylon Hotel, and other places where gay tourists stay.

Most customers are gay, though he would like to expand his customer base to include straights as well.

‘We have four regular customers now,’ Mr P told me proudly.

We sat on a small terrace next to the street, watching the evening traffic.

The two lads who serve tables stood stood behind a glass door at the front, watching us.

If I chatted to one, the other would shoot me a look to see if I was showing too much interest. Then he would go back to preening himself.

‘He needs to find a boyfriend badly,’ I told farang J.

How do you tell your gay waiting staff to stop flirting with customers? Maybe you can’t.

Farang J says running the cafe is more fun than his old job, working for a multi-national company.

Despite the huge financial investment in this place – the cafe alone must have cost a couple of million baht – farang J still lives here on a tourist visa.

'One day, I would like to upgrade to an investor’s visa, which gives me superior residency rights,' he said.

For that, however, his business must bring in a healthy income every month, and that is some way off yet.

'When you married P, did you expect you would have to marry into his Thai family as well?’ I asked him.

‘No,’ farang J admitted, while pointing out it also has its positive side: the boyfriend and his family have contacts here, and can help him get things done.

Farang J cannot speak much Thai, so relies on the boyfriend or his family to help him communicate.

His plans do not stop at a mere cafe. He is also turning the building, a converted five-storey shophouse, into short-stay accommodation. Farang J will live with his boyfriend on the top level.

I wish him luck. Another half dozen customers, including a middle-aged farang man and a young Thai guy, dined at the cafe while we were there.