Country cousins (part 3, final)

Jap in Sept 2017, about to start work

We spoke that night from the outskirts of Bangkok where his bus stopped. They weren't coming any further into town and his parents and I would not get to see him. "Sorry I won't get to meet you this time either," he said. 

When he returned to Nong Kai the next day he had to face the wrath of his aunt. His mother heard about his unauthorised trip to Bangkok and called to pass on her concern. 

I dropped in to Sin's place that night after work at Oiy's invitation, so I could be there as she and his father called to reprimand him. 

As Sin and Oiy spoke to him over the phone, I recall Oiy pleading with Jap: "You don't have long to go now. Just a little more patience and school will be over." 

The product of a broken home, Jap's birth mother turned her back on him when he was still a baby. She now has a new family and has shown no interest in forging a motherhood bond.  When he tried to make contact some years ago, she made him feel so awkward he has not been back. 

While Sin predicts cynically that she might come calling one day whenever Jap starts earning a decent wage, so far he has heard nothing. In the meantime, he calls Oiy his Mum - though confusingly can also refer to his aunt who raised him in Nong Kai as his mother too.

As for Sin himself, he has not raised Jap by his own hand in years. "I asked my sister to take on the job, after helping her raise her own children when they were in a tough financial position years ago," he told me once.

Back to Jap and his life since school. He had spoken of pursuing studies after his secondary education ended, but it was not to be. After leaving school he moved to outer Bangkok. His first job was working as a security guard, in Ratachada, I think...I never went to see him there. 

He abandoned that job, left the lease on his apartment, forfeiting the bond and losing his unpaid wages. That was the last teenage-style drama of Jap's that I was involved in. I had stopped sending him money before then as he had entered the workforce and as far as I was concerned could look after himself. 

He turned up at his father's condo for a brief visit some time later, which is when I finally met him, our first face-to-face encounter since those May holidays three years before. I had told my parents about Jap, and had this to say on the day we reunited:

"Jap, who is now 19 and a big lad, sent me a text last week to say he was at Dad's. Last night we had a beer together at the condo. We just picked up where we left off; it has been so easy getting to know him again. He looked nervous for perhaps the first five seconds, then we just relaxed." (email, Sept 18, 2017)

Later he took a job at a Korean-owned company in outlying Bangkok making home appliances. It was hard, gruelling work on a production line and eventually he quit. In June last year he joined the staff of a Bangkok supermarket popular with foreigners, which his mother helped arrange through a relative who works there.

Jap floats a krathong in Bangkok, Nov 2017

He seldom leaves his rented place in the suburbs to visit his parents' condo. In August last year he visited briefly to give his Mum a wai on Mother's Day. However, I no longer visit when he turns up as I do not want to have to part with money.

I tell him that I can't give him money any more as I am now connected to internet banking. My partner checks the balance, I say, and if he saw any funds missing would object. 

I am sure that in Jap's eyes I am still his "uncle"...but since I passed on that grim news we don't see the need to talk much.