Monday 5 February 2007

In the dark


I had another go today at finding out more about Maiyuu's health problems. I rifled through his duffel bag - one of many he keeps for his overnight sojourns - while he was in the bedroom chatting on the com.

I found a clear plastic bag with large white pills in it, but nothing else of interest which might tell me about his condition. The pills had been taken out of whatever marked box or bag they came in and put in an anonymous plastic bag so no one would know what they were for. Earlier, I had found a box of pills which are prescribed to ease tension.

'What are these pills for, and why are they in a bag with no label?' I asked. I thought I may as well be upfront.

'They are to ease stress,' he said.

The other day, Maiyuu told me he was going back to see his doctor in the middle of this month. 'Do you have an appointment card?' I asked today.

Immediately Maiyuu threw up his defensive wall. 'Is there anything else you want to know, or is that it?' he snapped. Even if he had a card, he said, he would not show it to me.

I asked him why he was not taking any medication for his chest. 'They injected me twice, and the medicine keeps working a long time,' he said. I do not recall seeing any puncture wounds in his chest when he returned from hospital - only a saline-drip mark on his arm.

Previously, the doctors wanted him to visit a specialist hospital for treating cancer patients in Chon Buri, up to four times a month. That scheme was going to cost money. He was also worried that the travelling and overnight hospital stays would only add to his stress, so Maiyuu pulled out of it.

Under the alternative regime which he elected, Maiyuu gets to be treated at Chulalongkorn Hospital instead. But suddenly they seem much less interested. Now, doctors are happy to see him just once a month, if that, which I find odd.

I have not heard anyone from the hospital call. If he has an appointment card, I have not seen it. All I have seen is his anti-stress pills - and even those, he attempted to conceal.

'I don't believe you,' I said.

''One day, you will know,' he replied. What he meant was, one day when he succumbs to his disease, I will finally know that I should have believed him.

As I write this Maiyuu is still annoyed with me for even mentioning his health condition. I shall have to go back to being a good housewife. I will pretend I don't know what is go on.

That way, my husband can carry on keeping me in the dark, and domestic harmony will have been restored.

8 comments:

  1. Demand the full story. Anything less is unacceptable. He supposedly suffers from a life-threatening illness and you his partner is not to know? He took all your money for this purpose and you are still not supposed to know? Ignore his manipulation and stick to it until he tells you.

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  2. I don't understand why he is being so secretive. It may be because he is hiding something, though I doubt it. It could be a symptom of self-pity.

    Maiyuu may have decided that he cannot count on my help financially if he does get really sick. He might also have convinced himself that he is going to die, whatever we do.

    A simpler explanation is that he does not want to remind himself of his condition. He will carry on with everyday life, and hope the drugs do the trick. He is looking after his body much better than before - eating well, sleeping a lot, smoking much less.

    But yes, I have a right to know, and it is both upsetting and annoying that he won't confide in me.

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  3. I hate to say this and sincerely apologyze me if I'm wrong, but based on what you wrote since Maiyuu was first hospitalized and your next entry "sneaky act", are you sure that his medical condition is as bad as he is telling you? I'm no doctor, but my father has cancer now, so assuming that the injections that he got are for chemoterapy, he would be feeling the terrible side effects of it (loss of energy, constant nausea) and would probably had lost a lot of hair by now.

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  4. Thank you for your concern, Jun. I asked him once before if the doctor wanted him to undertake chemotherapy or radiotherapy, and he said no.

    Apparently this is some other kind of drug treatment, as his cancer is still at an early stage. I don't understand enough about these things, and of course he is not telling me.

    If things change I shall ask advice from people I know who understand medcine. Maybe they can shed some light on what is happening.

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  5. I'm sorry to be so hard on you, but considering your recent story about his "boss boyfriend," it's pretty obvious that he has stolen money from you and is lying to you and manipulating you. I was the one who mentioned in your previous posts that without direct contact with the hospital where he supposedly was diagnosed and supposedly was treated and supposedly bought "insurance," you have no proof that anything he said was true. Your trust is only making it possible for him to take advantage of you further.

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  6. I am not sure what he is doing, but he does look sick, and at the moment, in his present vulnerable state, I just want him to be happy. If his boss can help make him happy, then that's great.

    If I was to discover one day that the money he spent on 'insurance' actually went to his boss, for example, then of course I would be upset, and probably not so forgiving. But for the time being I am prepared to give him the benefit of the doubt, even though, as his boyfriend, I have every right to know what is going on, and should really insist on being told.

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  7. Unfortunately Thailand/Laos medical services rely heavily on complementary herbal treatments for cancers. I had an interview and argument with a Laos doctor who is marketing a treatment based on his "case notes" that has now been mandated for breast cancer treatment in Laos.

    It may be that he is getting one of these complementary treatments given that western chemotherapy treatments are so expensive.

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  8. I hope to find out more in the next week, when he goes in for another check-up. They seem a casual bunch, at Chula...I would like to think they are taking his problem seriously, but I don't think a couple of injections in the chest is really going to do the trick.

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Comments are welcome, in English or Thai (I can't read anything else). Anonymous posting is discouraged, unless you'd like to give yourself a name at the bottom of your post, so we can tell who you are.