Vacuum him up

The boyfriend has returned from a couple of days at work, and relations between him and I are strained.

Maiyuu denies anything is wrong, but he walks around with a sour look on his face, and hardly talks.

I am not sure what I have done wrong, or if he is just missing his friends.

Perhaps he enjoyed the last two days away from home and now that he is back remembers what a miserable life we lead.

That's probably not it, but still, it's awkward. Hopefully he will thaw out soon.

A friend is thinking of buying a robot vacuum cleaner, the type which moves around the home by itself, like an automatic pool cleaner.

My boyfriend sleeps during the day, and again at night. If I bought a robot vacuum and turned it on while I went out for lunch, could I come back home to find my boyfriend had been vacuumed up?

Pictures I have seen on the internet are not promising. The robot vacuums are small, so their dust bags would be even smaller.

From one website:

'With remote capabilities, these vacs are a real benefit for people who have mobility problems.'

They must mean my BF; he has mobility problems, in that he doesn't like to get up from sleeping position.

'This domestic robot is a flat, disk-shaped device. It’s flat so it can go under furniture. It would reach all those places a normal vacuum can’t. So there’s no need to move sofas, stools, and low-set tables.'

...Or Thai boyfriends?

'The robot vacuum is made disk-shaped so it can go around furniture’s legs and wall corners effectively, cleaning as it goes. It also features a bumper to absorb possible collision with a solid object along its way.'

Solid object = Thai boyfriend, in which case it won't suck him up. Does it come with a user-programming feature?