The other day, Martha invited on to the show a New York chef who specialises in lobster. He made a lobster roll - lobster meat, mayonnaise, and a few herbal goodies stuffed in a bread roll, which he sells to his lunchtime customers for $19 a pop.
Moments after the show ended, Maiyuu left home to visit the supermarket.
When he came back, he was carrying the ingredients needed to make the dish - lobster, mayonnaise, and buns. He whipped it up yesterday for lunch, and made another lobster roll for me to tuck into while I was at work.
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As I walked to work, I felt isolated and cut off from the life around me.
Commuters were lining up at the bus stop, vehicles whizzing past. It was evening rush hour, so no surprise if the streets were busy.
Yet these were among the first Thai faces I had seen all day. In mid-afternoon, half a dozen young This turned up to play in the condo swimming pool. I had also walked past a few cleaners...that's it.
I live in the same condo complex as a middle-aged Burmese man from work.
He likes to chat animatedly to Thai co-workers at the office. Once, I did not know why he bothered, as they looked like mere acquaintances rather than friends.
Back then, I lived in a lively market on the Thon Buri side of Bangkok, and chatted to Thais outside work regularly. I could not undersand why anyone would need to make such an effort with strangers at the office.
'Save conversation for your friends!' I thought.
Now I live in a quiet inner-city condo, and know why he makes the effort....it's because he, too, no doubt feels isolated and cut off at home.
When was the last decent conversation I had with a Thai? I can't remember.
I will have to recover my sense of adventure, and search out opportunities to speak Thai, or I fear my interest in this place - maybe even tolerance of the things which foreigners normally love to hate (heat, stray dogs, and so on) - is in danger of wearing thin.
Postscript: I might revive the friends of the night series of posts from Mum's hole-in-the-wall shop in Thon Buri. First, I should re-write them to make them more accesible to new readers who know nothing about the place. This project might remind me of what I have lost - the pleasure of getting to know Thais. Can it be so hard?
8 comments:
ReplyDeleteKevo3325 March 2009 at 19:30
I live in Lobster heaven...They can be had for about 5 dollars around here, haha.
Did the rolls come out good? If it's overcooked it gets too tough to put in a roll.
There's my $.02 ha
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kopichai25 March 2009 at 23:55
Are lobsters cheap at the market in Bangkok? I once had lobsters in {attaya and they cost a bomb!!
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Lino in dirty New York26 March 2009 at 00:31
You can chalk-up what you are now experiencing to what i call "the fulcrum effect". _A point where you are switching back and forth from familiar and "easy" to foreign and not-so easy.
When you are forced to accommodate yourself full time to new and less luxurious circumstances, you make a choice to either go native and acclimate, or go where you "belong".
Personal example: Two years ago I got involved in a film shot in BKK. One of the stars was visiting from India and the company put him up in a major western hotel chain.
We all hung out with him for hours on-end and enjoyed the familiar amenities excellent water, good a.c. with no Bangkok smell etc. When we left there it was late afternoon and the outside was, well..typical and hit us like a ton of bricks. Coming from NYC, I am kind of used to crowds and heat but one other foreigner said out loud "when the hell am I doing here. get me outta here!"
When you moved into the newer more advanced condo, you became perched on that fulcrum between the kind of comforts you may have known and a sort of forced assimilation in the native ways of your new country.
Most of the people living in those high-end condos are there because they feel superior to..or need protection from, the natives they are screwing... in business or otherwise. Some are just there on business and can't be bothered with the locals.
The mindset you are developing can isolate you from your host country and cause you to question your choice of same.
Put bluntly, if you develop an intolerance for the smell of the people and their culture.. why stay.
That's the danger in the move you have made. I wish you luck in dealing with it.
Lino
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ReplyDeleteBkkdreamer26 March 2009 at 03:33
Kevo 33, Kopichai: Maiyuu tells me he actually bought packed, fresh prawn meat, as fresh lobsters are too expensive. It tasted little different to me, but then I rarely eat lobster, so what would I know. The prawn meat, he said, was cheap - the biggest expense was probably the bread rolls and the lemons.
Lino: Actually, my problem is not that I gave up comforts in moving from my old condo to the new one. I have gained them at the new place.
One of the supposed benefits of living in an inner city condo is increased social isolation. As you put it yourself, some tenants want to be cut off, because they can't be bothered with local people.
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A brifer Lino26 March 2009 at 06:36
Shakespeare wrote "brevity is the soul of wit" -its also the essence of clarity.
What I had meant to convey is simply that when someone living in foreign circumstances gets a taste of the comforts of home, and becomes a bit isolated from the natives, he can start to question why he is there...
I see this all the time here in New York. New arrivals start out enthused and after 3-5 years get tired of the pressures, crowds and expense. They start talking about and visiting "home" before you know it, they are gone.
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Bkkdreamer26 March 2009 at 06:50
Lino,
Thank you for the explanation. Occasionally I do miss the comforts of home, but I rarely consider leaving Thailand for them, as I enjoy this place more.
After nine years of living here, that much is unlikely to change. I will just have to find new ways to interact with people.
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Anonymous27 March 2009 at 13:41
HUMMM
Rather than rewriting the "Friends of the Night" stories, I think you should go back to Mom's Cafe and bring us new stories. That would be great for us!! And it would let you reconnect with real Thais...
TAKE CARE
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Brackmagic27 March 2009 at 19:34
Yes Mr Anonymouse, more new friends of the night would be wonderful. I loved the old friends of the night stories
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