Dogs bark, fish flop, Ball gets leg rub, farang contemplates change

Graffiti marks spot where the ya dong stand sat...alleyway leads to Ball's soi

'Put your legs on my knees...I will rub them,’ I told Mr Ball.

He did as he was told.

The soi in which carer R sets up his stand was quiet, but for the sound of dogs barking, and fish flopping about in a bucket across the way.

The stand is in a street where, during the day, traders set up a fresh market, including a fish stall.

By midnight, when I usually arrive, the traders and customers have gone home.

There's just us, the dogs, later-night rubbish collectors, and teenagers passing by on motorbikes.

I asked Ball how his day went.

‘The same as usual...I was at home.’

Next, I asked after his Mum.

‘The same,’ he said.

Mum was no longer angry at him for spurning her efforts to find him a job as a security guard.

Relations with girlfriend Jay were also on a normal footing, meaning he was still arguing with her one moment, making up the next.

I had dropped in to see the Enchanted One after work.

Carer R and he were drinking ya dong alone, as is usual at that time of night. I had called R to say I was coming, so he kept his stall open until I arrived.

I watched Ball’s magnificently expressive face, but tried not to gaze at him too long, in case he felt uncomfortable.

He smiled. He’s used to me by now, after all.

Carer R chatted away in the background as I watched Mr Ball, who was more serious and subdued than the night before.

‘Are you okay? Is anything upsetting you at home?’ I asked.

‘I am fine,’ he insisted, smiling.

I found the burn mark on his right leg, caused by the exhaust pipe of a motorbike he climbed on a few days ago.

It still looks vivid and painful, and shows no sign of going away.

‘All my skin wounds take ages to heal,’ he said.

‘Are you wearing underpants?’ I asked.

I ask him this question every day at the moment, as he knows I don’t like him leaving home with nothing on under his clothes.

‘No...I want him to get some air,’ he said.

He said it matter-of-factly. We talk about most topics these days without the need to make a joke out of anything, or feel embarrassed.

That’s not because we are drawing closer...we probably aren’t. We just can’t see the point in being too serious.

I care for Ball. He likes it. At the end of the night, we go home, in separate directions.

We carry on like this until some emotional drama erupts in his home life. That’s when I can be useful again, as I listen while he unloads.

Carer R is threatening to leave Bangkok next month. His stall will stay, but he will have left for the provinces, to care for his father-in-law.

The stall will close earlier, meaning I will no longer be able to visit Mr Ball there after I finish work.

I would rather not visit him at home at that hour, as it is late.

His girlfriend Jay usually waits up for him to get home from the ya dong stand, so they can go to bed together.

That’s time they are entitled to enjoy together as a couple. Compared to Jay, his girlfriend, I am a mere hanger-on.

I may be good at the caring thing, but I doubt I can compare with her.

So, where are we heading?

Ball’s Mum and I get along well. In fact, I am enjoying my contact with ‘adults’ in his family, such as Mum, her friends, and even her partner Lort.

Still, the changes beckoning at the ya dong stand threaten to upset our relationship. I feel as if my time is running out.

During the day, Ball is often asleep, or I am busy.

I finish work late. If I can’t see him at the ya dong stand after work, when will we meet...only on my days off?