Sunday 10 September 2006

Sleepless society (part 3, final)

Restless activity

As I walked down his soi, the sun was not yet up, but shopkeepers and food sellers were already stirring. One woman had cooked a pot of something, and in the half-darkness was pouring it into small cups on a table outside her place.

Young Wut was more than happy to see me, though of course a little suspicious. 'Did you have an argument?' he asked.

'No argument, just a talk,' I said, while denying I was using him to make a point with boyfriend Maiyuu.

In truth, I did feel guilty about being there. But I had my own, sensible reasons for coming to see young Wut early. We had arranged to meet for a game of badminton later that day. I was not sure I could make it any longer - so a visit at this hour was better than none at all.

We were going to play a game in the soi with his young friend, Ms Eclipse.

A couple of nights before, I visited young Wut after work. When I emerged from his shophouse to walk home, I met a young neighbour of his peering at the midnight sky.

Sukhon, who I have met before, has a broad Chinese face, and good manners. She was outside waiting for the eclipse, she said.

Young Wut, who came down to see me off, immediately broke into young person's vernacular, and the two of them were still ooh-ing and aah-ing at the night sky as I left them to go home.

'Are you leaving?' she asked.

'I am, but young Wut thinks we should all play badminton together at the weekend,' I said.

So our date was arranged.

Back in his place that night, Wut and I spent an hour talking, which we do well together. Unlike boyfriend Maiyuu, Wut's mind is alert, and hungry for new ideas.

We tried sleeping and cuddling at the same time, which is something else I don't get at home, as I sleep in a different bed from Maiyuu. But that didn't work, as we were both too wound up. In the end I went back home, as I realised I could not get to sleep there either.

However, my protest move of flouncing off to see young Wut did have the intended effect of rattling boyfriend Maiyuu. He called me half a dozen times in the brief time I was there, and sent a couple of text messages, too.

'I am going to a temple to make merit. My friends are still at home sleeping,' he wrote.

Maiyuu  did the same thing the last time we argued, a couple of weeks ago. I read his message as I walked out Wut's long soi.

The sun was coming up. Food sellers were now opening their stalls, the same people I saw putting dishes on display an hour before.

Families were pulling back the sliding doors of their shophouses, which signalled that their sleep time was over. They, too, were getting ready to start the day.

Dogs were stirring themselves from slumber - actually, they are on 24-hour guard duty against new faces like mine, so it was more like a change of shift - and monks had surfaced to seek alms.

Surely this is a time for rest, I thought to myself wearily, not for making merit at temples.

Back home, I managed to steal an hour of fitful sleep, before the boys in the next room started to stir. Soon their tummies would start rumbling, I thought. They would want to be fed. And still no sign of the host.

As their cellphones sprang back to life, I realised my time had run out. I was destined to get no rest this night, even if all around me were young ones rising from slumber looking refreshed.

Boyfriend Maiyuu finally turned up about 10.30am. He too felt invigorated and revived, he said, after spending the morning in placid temple surrounds.

We argued again for another hour. I couldn't believe he would willingly go without rest for so long.

'I do not need to get eight straight hours of sleep,' he said in his own defence. 'If the boys are hungry, I can wake to feed them, then go back to bed after they have gone.'

Poor host

That's unlikely, I told him. More plausible is that he would abandon them to their own devices - poor conduct for a host - or go without sleep at all. So far, he had gone an entire night without putting his head on a pillow.

Golf and Gip, who could hear it all, made awkward sounds next door, but showed no signs of preparing to leave. Eventually Maiyuu tired of arguing, so went into their room to make me something to eat.

Goff and Gip came in to give me a hug on the bed. They told me they did not feel bad about what I said.

'You have become fatter,' Gip told me immediately.

'I noticed too, but wasn't going to say,' said Golf, good-naturedly.

I entered the main room to join the boys. Maiyuu attempted to smooth over our embarrassing row, telling the boys about our pet hedgehog which had gone missing.

'What does it eat? asked Gip, who had earlier asked to see our hamsters, only to be told they had now all died.

'Cat food pellets,' said Maiyuu.

'You should have made a cat miaow to get his attention,' he replied cleverly.

Ten minutes later, Maiyuu took the boys away.

Maiyuu's solution was to take the boys elsewhere, so I could rest in peace alone. But still I could not sleep. Out of habit or a sense of security, I wanted him there, to lie in his bed in the room next to mine.

He returned about 1.30pm, after buying food at the mall. He dumped the food on the table, then made straight for bed.

Just before he did, I button-holed him for another of our little 'talks':

'Can you see that someone who spends the whole night on the town will have to write off the next day?' I asked.

'Most people do useful things during daylight hours, but in your case, you will spend what's left of this day asleep. That's it - the whole day gone.'

Maiyuu agreed, but said nothing.

He and I both work nights. Despite that, I try to wake early, so I have a whole nine hours in which to do my own thing before I return to the office. Yet here I was, more than 30 hours since my last sleep, battling with a young man who insisted is own schedule was more important.

The badminton game had gone out the window. In the end I accomplished little more than my visit to the doctor.

Later that night, Maiyuu was to go out again - though this time with a promise that, if he was out too late, he would stay over with friends instead.

While he was away, I slept. I don't know what time he returned, but the next day, while I rose early, he continued to sleep. Most days, in fact, he spends asleep, when he is not tending to our needs as a couple.

While Maiyuu was out on the town for a second night running, I left work and went back to bed in an empty condo. I was so exhausted that I found sleep easily, and without the aid of a little purple one.

The ultimate aim is to do away with the pills entirely, though that depends on my keeping regular hours and getting uninterrupted sleep.

Maiyuu and his kathoey/gay followers have their own needs, which is to go out as much as possible. They have done the same thing for years, and do not seem to tire of it.

You're lucky - I'm not

In his own defence, Maiyuu says he needs to rest and relax, after a hard week working. He sells clothes at a night market in town.

'I don't work in an air-con office like you. Often it's hot, or the rain is coming down. Customers give me a hard time. At such moments I just want to hide in the booth. All I can think about is coming home.

'I never know if you are happy, because all you do is moan. You dump all your problems on me. You're as bad as a woman with a period,' he said.

In my more hopeless moments, I wonder if there is any point in attempting to impose western-style order - the old-fashioned notion that night is for sleep, daytime for activity - on a culture where people seem happy to work or sleep at any hour.

But I am kidding myself. Plenty of people in Bangkok lead normal lives, working days and sleeping nights. But they tend to be in good jobs, relatively well educated, and with money.

Maiyuu's bunch is not well educated, and do not have good jobs. They go out at night to escape from the nasty slog of their lives.

For as long as I stay with Maiyuu, my life is unlikely to change: the long hours spent alone, many of them sleepless, while I wait for him to tire of yet another night under the pulsating lights and thumping music of a gay dance venue.

Not all gays live their lives in that desperate fashion, but these ones do. Only fools would pretend it's a glamorous existence.

So we just have to live our lives apart.

For me, sleeping regular hours is inextricably bound up with the person I want to be: productive, energetic, and healthy. Bangkok is no less fascinating in daylight, for those of us awake to see it.

The last word should go to a German friend, who visited Bangkok over the weekend. He was in town to see his boyfriend, who lives in the same condo as us.

Germans, of course, are famous for their efficiency and punctuality. They appreciate the importance of managing time.

He happened to call as I was heading out to see the doctor. I suggested I pay him a visit when I returned.

'How long will that be?' he asked.

Ah, I thought! Music to the ears.

'When will you be back?'

Even better.

We agreed on a time - an orderly, civilised transaction on which both of us could depend. Mature, responsible adults are able to do such things. It took but a minute, and proved that it is possible to rely on people, even in Bangkok.

I could have hugged him.

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