Sweet talk goes nowhere (2)

'I am grateful for that experience. It toughened me. But if I had not been through that earlier hardship, living the way I do now would be much harder.'

I asked if Muss was good at managing money, or spent it all on beer.

'Do you find it easy to budget, to set aside so much money for food or whatever...and what about incidental expenses, such as groceries, clothes or a haircut?' I asked.

'Transport expenses and rent must come first, but all the others I can do without until I get the money,' he said.

I thought of the small collection of toiletries which I saw sitting on Muss's bedside table - a bottle of body power, a small bottle of perfume - and how hard they must have been to come by.

Muss, who once travelled about Bangkok in his own car, says he was forced to sell it after the maintenance and repair bills became too high. He recalled another time when he was forced to pawn almost everything he owned in Bangkok - including his precious guitar - for the sake of a woman, only to end up heartbroken.

'My former girlfriend was in Europe, and told me she wanted to come back to Bangkok. She told me how much she loved me, but did not have the money to buy a return ticket. I pawned almost everything, including my guitar, to raise money for her airfare - only to learn later that she did not really want to return. She had met a new man, a European, and they have since married,' he said unhappily.

That woman gave Muss a son, his first child, about 12 months ago. Muss's face lights up when he talks about being a Dad - though he seldom gets to see the child, who lives with his ex-girlfriend's grandmother in the north-eastern province of Chaiyaphum.

Muss himself comes from Mukdahan, about eight hours from Bangkok, across from Laos. He can see the neighbouring country from his home. 'I can see them going past on their bikes, on the banks of the river,' he said.

'My girlfriend's grandmother loves the child, and takes good care of him. However, when my girlfriend first became pregnant, her family wanted her to have an abortion. They would not let me see her, and took her to Europe.'

Her family did not approve of the girl's relationship with Muss, as she was just 16 - and he was not well-off. 'Her mother married a westerner, and wanted her to do the same, so she would be comfortable,' he said.

'In that case I am surprised you want to mix with farang any more,' I said, referring to myself.

'No...life is bigger than our problems alone. We must learn to move beyond these things and make the best of what we have,' Muss said optimistically.

In emails, the girlfriend tells Muss that she still loves him, but says she cannot stay with someone whose head is so easily turned by other women.

I do not know if Muss was faithful. However, Muss admits his baby-face looks are popular with girls.

As I listened to Muss's sad story, I was wondering if I could help.

If I start lending or giving him money regularly, then over time the expectations on both sides could change. I want my admirable young friend to be as strong and independent as he is now.

He and his Thai friends borrow from each other when they have run out, as that is the Thai way. But I am not sure if it should also be the Thai-farang way.

I can be a financial lifeline, when he really needs it (assuming he would accept my help, which is unlikely) - but not a financial crutch.

The street beside the shop was well-lit, but quiet, and both of us were feeling the cold. As he shivered, Muss's lips grew darker, while his black hair, parted in the middle, seemed to become more shiny and lustrous. However, his face was draining of colour. It was time this young man went to bed.

About 2am, I dropped Muss close to his place, before heading back myself. Muss went to bed alone, as did I.

Muss called while I was still in the taxi.

'Are you home yet?' he asked.

'Almost.'

'I have stopped to have something to eat,' he said.

From home, I sent him a text message, and then called.

'Are you full?'

Yes.'

'Did you have a shower?'

'I do not shower right before bed, as I find it hard to sleep. I tend to shower in the morning and early evening,' he said.

Over our drinks earlier, Muss told me he wanted to learn English.

As I was getting off to sleep, I heard my cellphone buzz. My young friend had sent me a message, which I opened this morning.

In English, he wrote: 'Good night.'

now, see part 2