Thursday 16 November 2006

Short and clean, please


Bad news for men who like to wear their fingernails - and in particular their pinky nail - long. Women prefer them short and clean.

They say the appearance of a man's nails reveal things about his character. If they are long and well kept, then of course they are likely to be artistic, or gay.

Shorter nails, on the other hand, give the man the appearance of self-confidence when he goes to pick things up; he looks like a handy-man, as if he might be useful about the house.

At the Pantip webboard, a guy asked girls what they thought about men who wear their nails long. Many sensitive types do, of course - a fact not lost on women who want their guys looking manly rather than effeminate. But the fashion for long nails has extended far beyond aesthetic types, or gays...it has become a fad among real men, too.

Some young women say the state of a man's nails is the first thing they notice; they will even go the extent of making a quick and surreptitious inspection, when he doesn't know anyone's looking. One girl said if she sees a guy with a long pinky nail it turns her right off, as it's usually there just for one purpose: to help him clean out his nose and ears (yuck!).

I have heard other explanations: bus conductors keep their nails long to help them cut paper tickets from the roll, while the driver might keep them long for good luck, as he takes another bend in the road at 100km/h.

Another belief has it that if the end of your little finger is shorter than the second joint of your next finger, then you will always be someone's boss, rather than get the chance to be a boss yourself. In that case, growing your last nail long helps you boost the length of your pinky.

Yet another folk belief says the size of your pinky nail reveals something about the size of your penis (in which case, you would be mad not to grow it long).

'Of course we notice, ja, because women are observant creatures. I inspect my boyfriend's nails with the regimen of a teacher checking a student. If your nails look dirty, then it's time for a shower!' one typical response read.

Other girls say they routinely cut their boyfriends nails for them, to make sure they stay short. They don't want their men turning into puu chai wai lep ( ผู้ชายไว้เล็บ, or guys who wear their nails long).

In the most entertaining post, one woman says she can fall in love with a man based on the beauty of his hands.

'It's the first thing I notice. I have fallen in love with men because of their hands. His face can look as ugly as you like, but if he has beautiful hands I can still go ''bing!'' I love hands that are long and tapering, white and soft, with short, clean nails.

'I once fell for a guy who lost his balance in the bus, and brushed his hands against my face. If it had been anyone else, she would probably have been angry. But I fell for him, because his hands were so beautiful. Pale and tapering...as for the nails, you don't even need to mention them. Pinky white - so cute! I had to suppress a smile as I watched him all the way back in the bus.'

She goes on...

'We can tell a lot by people's hands. There are manly looking hands, artistic hands, those of manual labourers, childish people, cruel types, people who like gay sex... '

I should really put a picture here of a guy who likes to wear his nails long. Unfortunately, no one around here wears them like that.


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