Actually, I had to follow him 100 metres down a darkened street before I caught up with him, but I made sure I walked in the centre of the road (there was no traffic), to avoid looking as if I was creeping after him.
When I found him, Tock was standing outside an email cafe. He was about to go in to check his university grades via the internet, he said.
'So you study?' I asked him.
'Yes.'
He did not say much more, as I did most of the talking. Occasionally he flashed a beautiful smile, which went well, I thought, with his big doe-like eyes.
Tock was wearing a pair of jeans, cut off at the knees, and a white T-shirt.
I told young Tock that I was in need of friends, preferably handsome, just like him. Actually, I left the last bit out.
'I do drink, but not often,' said Tock.
'I need to get out at night so I can sleep, but sometimes there's no one at Mum's shop, so all new friends are welcome,' I said.
Tock listened patiently. After five minutes, I said goodbye.
A couple of hours later, Tock re-appeared. He had evidently finished his internet business and was on his way home.
Mum had started work. When Tock stopped by to buy cigarettes, I heard Mum ask him if he would like to talk to me.
He declined. A minute later, he walked away, back into the soi where he lives.
Today I sent a message to Mum, thanking her for sounding him out.
'I won't annoy him any more.'
I will just have to admire him from afar, like I do most of my good-looking straight friends.
One day, when he feels the pressure is off, he might even join me for a drink, though I don't hold out much hope.
For some young ones, the prospect of talking to a farang is just too scary. They are best kept at a distance - especially those odd ones who insist on bounding after you in the dark.
Sorry once again to be blunt; but it seems rather strange that in one recent post you write about how satisfied you are with the arrangement with your other "friends" that they don't call you and you rarely call them; however in these recent posts you seem to be desperately chasing after young straight Thai men for "friendship." Perhaps you need to consider what your needs really are and from whom it would probably be more appropriate to seek satisfaction... may I suggest young Thai gays for sex and foreigners for more meaningful intellectual relationships? That's how it usually works here...
ReplyDeleteEver tried making an arrangement with a Thai by telephone? I can't recall how many times I have sent messages to young ones, only to have them ignored. Thais are not great communicators on the phone. After years of struggling, I have now given up trying.
ReplyDeleteNo one likes to be ignored. I just find that many of my Thai friends are unreliable. In that case, it's better just to let things happen naturally. If I meet a friend by chance, good. If not, I won't bother calling or trying to make an effort, as it rarely works.
I know few foreigners here, though I am making an effort to meet more.
But no, I don't think Thais are good for just taking to bed.
Actually, I find that many Thais are fairly reliable- as long as they really do want to meet you. One of my Thai friends eventually lost the right to make appointments with me because he kept breaking them at the last minute; however, most of my Thai friends are usually pretty good on the follow-through. May I suggest that your negative experience of Thais is still related to a lack of common interests (either physical or intellectual)? I think you need to put yourself in position to meet more gay Thais, not just hang out at a general bar and hope for the right type to come by. Good to hear you're seeking to meet more foreigners.
ReplyDeleteI have often thought the same thing, that I need to put myself in a position to meet more gays, rather than hanging around in a general bar.
ReplyDeleteAt Mum's place, I meet almost no one but straight men, and occasionally it gets - well, boring!
On the other hand, I can't bear the mincing, showy or ugly types who seem to turn gay only because no one from the opposite sex wants them. Feminine, but discreet is a much nicer combination.
??? You seem to have an odd view of gay identity- the mincing queens are queenie, I think, because it has become part of their identity since they were young. They would never have dreamed of dating a girl, and I think their feminine identity became firmly set long before they were old enough to date. As for showy, well, there's a wide spectrum; you just probably notice the showy ones more because they're, well, showy. There are guys who are firmly closeted as well as those who go out wearing the "I'm not gay but my boyfriend is" shirts. As for ugly- well, are you going to blame people for their genes? Beauty is skin deep, etc., etc., and do you think for some reason that guys are less picky about looks than girls???
ReplyDeleteWhen people write personal ads, they're encouraged to focus on positives- what you want, rather than the things you don't like. I think you have misexpressed your own sentence; let me try for you again: "I want to meet some young, gay, masculine, mostly-straight-acting types for friendship and sex."
If that's true, then Bangkok's your oyster; especially with your apparently excellent language skills. All you have to do is get out a little more and stop wasting time at that hole in the wall.
Thank you for your lecture on gay identity. Sometimes showy, mincy and ugly can be mixed together in the same bag.
ReplyDeleteI think your description in the personal ad looks about right...except I suspect friendship happens first, and then you figure out whether your new friend meets your various physical 'specs' only later.
That is why I am usually not too fussy, despite the unflattering meaning you have taken from my comments. Among the gay set, I have met boys who fit all those categories: showy, mincy and ugly. I keep them as friends, because the attraction does not go any deeper.
I am reluctant to get into this any deeper, as I think you have already thought about it too much. I know several school-age screaming kateuys who are all three.
They want people to be in no doubt about what they are, which must immediately narrow their potential circle of friends and admirers, not to mention annoy parents, teachers and other authority figures.