Massage parlours, and 100 baht kisses

Kathoey Bom has a woman friend who works at a massage parlour nearby.

She turned up with two friends: a tall gay man, and a lesbian, who runs the massage place as the mamasan. Together, we made for a diverse bunch.

The massage shop worker, who I shall call Captain, was teasing Bom - one of her favourite pastimes. The previous night, Bom had paid a motorcycle boy to take him to Sanam Luang, she said.

The motorcycle boys sit at a little stand opposite Mum's shop.

'He goes to Sanam Luang to sell himself for B20,' said Captain.

'The boy said that you paid him B150 just to take you there on his motorbike,' she said. 'Are you made of money?'

Bom said nothing. They are friends, so he lets her tease. However, his profligacy with money where cute boys is concerned annoys Mum, because on the same night he will often claim he is short of money, and put his drink on a tab.

Bom gets kisses off the motorcycle boys, I learned, but must pay for them too.

If, in a lonely moment, Bom passes the boys at their stand, and feels like a kiss, he will ask. The boys - who are straight - charge him.

This is despite the fact that he is forever shouting them Pepsi and cigarettes. They ask for them because Bom is older and should be in a better position to pay, and because they know he likes their good looks.

They charge him B100 for one cheek sniff (Thai kiss), which sounds stiff. Kisses with straight boys do not come cheap around here.

Back to the table, and Captain, who I barely know, mentioned casually that I was gay. Just as well that Thais don't care about such things, I thought, or I might have reason to feel embarrassed.

'The farang is gay, but doesn't show it. Bom, on the other hand, prances about like a girl,' she told my straight friend, Toon.

Captain paused to introduce me to the tall man on her left. 'He likes men, too,' she said.

I looked at her friend. He didn't seem to mind being introduced as gay. He said little, as he was occupied rubbing a couple of spots on his face.

Captain went back to teasing Bom.

'Boys don't like that kind of behaviour. Bom goes to bed at night with his door unlocked, in the hope boys will jump on him in the middle of the night. But no one ever does,' she said.

Toon did not seem interested in the remark about the farang being gay. That's good, because he views me as a father figure, and is keen for me to avoid that lifestyle.

'Are you like kathoey Bom [gay]?' he asked me once.

'No,' I replied.

Toon was more interested in Captain's knock shop.

Captain, who volunteered the fact that she works there, told Toon what he could expect. This massage shop is not the only one in the area, but appears to be a great drawcard for local straight men.

It must be the quality of the conversation. I have heard a similar account about what goes on there from Mum's husband, who is also an occasional visitor - though not for sex, he hastens to add, just for education.

'For 1200 baht, they do the lot,' she said.

The mamasan took a moral stand. Lest we think that as the owner of a massage shop, she might have lax principles, she insisted this was not so. She was fussy about which girls she takes home.

'I don't just go for anyone. I don't go on one-night stands, and if someone suggests I stay the night at her place, I say I am not interested.'

The next night, I asked Toon a stupid question.

'Does Captain have a boyfriend?'

'How could she have a boyfriend, when she works at a place like that?'

Her male customers may be married or have girlfriends, of course, but that's another story.