Day 2
The drama over the Dad who cannot accept his fourth-grader son being kathoey (gay) has taken a welcome turn. Dad, 41, left an open letter to his son, Note, at the Pantip webboard, where interest in the saga has led to several off-shoot posts.
Poster reaction, while initially hostile to Dad for hitting his son, has now turned the other way, for Dad's message to his son is heartfelt, genuine, and achingly sad.
'I would like to tell you that I cannot yet accept such deviant behaviour. I have gone to bed many nights, thinking hard. In fact, I have barely been able to sleep. If you are not willing to change, then your Dad might have to ask for time to himself to accept what his son has become.'
Dad called upon his son at school one day, and was appalled to find him acting the queen while rehearsing with his friends in a cheerleading team.
Earlier, Note had asked his father for B6000 baht for sports gear and shoes, which his father thought was a lot of money for a sports activity. In fact, the boy intended to spend it on a cheerleading outfit.
His son has an older friend, called Job, who had stayed over with Note many times. Job lives 12km away, and brings Note home regularly after dark.
'His house is before ours. How many boys would go the trouble of driving an extra 12km to take home a friend, only to have to turn back again to return to his own home?
'Back in the days when I was still dating your mother, I never drove her home such a long way … and looking at Job's manner when he is with you, he obviously cares about you a great deal.'
On the day of their row, Dad beat his son to make him change his ways. Since then Note has refused to talk to his father. He avoids his father's gaze when they pass each other at home.
''Don't treat Mum and the other kids as if they are in a different world. You can ignore me, that's fine. But we all share the same home. Your younger siblings don't know anything about this matter. You can still talk to them occasionally, you know. '
Dad says he was worried about the direction Note's life is taking, so he let himself into his son's room for a look around.
First, Note's father tried to get into his son's computer, but without success, for it is password-protected.
Then he tried his desk drawer and wardrobe, where he found a picture of his older friend Job, and a gay video.
'I found the VCD in the wardrobe. I was not surprised. I knew it would probably be this kind of video, for you are still a teenager. I don't know whether you and Job have tried making such a video together.
'You don't have to tell me. Mum was unhappy, she cried right there in your room. But I am confident that in a short time, Mum will have come to terms with it, because she loves you. '
Dad, who wants time alone to accept what his son has become, says he would be away from home for three days.
He was going to Chiang Mai, to earn money to support his son's upkeep, and that of his younger siblings. He left this parting message to his son:
'Look after Mum and the others. Please try to make Mum smile – she's been worried for days now. It's not beyond your ken, because you are smart and resourceful. I am always proud of your academic achievements.
'But I still have to accept what you have become. Please give me time. Think carefully before you head down this path, son. I am worried about your future. Mum and Dad can but raise the child, not the man he will become. '
Postscript: At the time he left his posts at the Pantip board, the father and Note had not yet spoken. Writing from Chiang Mai, the father said that when he calls his son's cellphone, Note does not answer.
However, his wife had seen him in the bedroom using the computer, so he suspected he had read his open letter.
Note had sent him a message on his cellphone, a piece of poetry, which he received early one morning, and took as an encouraging sign that his son still cared. 'The wind can blow as hard as it likes, but as long as the sun shines, the flowers will always open.'
The drama over the Dad who cannot accept his fourth-grader son being kathoey (gay) has taken a welcome turn. Dad, 41, left an open letter to his son, Note, at the Pantip webboard, where interest in the saga has led to several off-shoot posts.
Poster reaction, while initially hostile to Dad for hitting his son, has now turned the other way, for Dad's message to his son is heartfelt, genuine, and achingly sad.
'I would like to tell you that I cannot yet accept such deviant behaviour. I have gone to bed many nights, thinking hard. In fact, I have barely been able to sleep. If you are not willing to change, then your Dad might have to ask for time to himself to accept what his son has become.'
Dad called upon his son at school one day, and was appalled to find him acting the queen while rehearsing with his friends in a cheerleading team.
Earlier, Note had asked his father for B6000 baht for sports gear and shoes, which his father thought was a lot of money for a sports activity. In fact, the boy intended to spend it on a cheerleading outfit.
His son has an older friend, called Job, who had stayed over with Note many times. Job lives 12km away, and brings Note home regularly after dark.
'His house is before ours. How many boys would go the trouble of driving an extra 12km to take home a friend, only to have to turn back again to return to his own home?
'Back in the days when I was still dating your mother, I never drove her home such a long way … and looking at Job's manner when he is with you, he obviously cares about you a great deal.'
On the day of their row, Dad beat his son to make him change his ways. Since then Note has refused to talk to his father. He avoids his father's gaze when they pass each other at home.
''Don't treat Mum and the other kids as if they are in a different world. You can ignore me, that's fine. But we all share the same home. Your younger siblings don't know anything about this matter. You can still talk to them occasionally, you know. '
Dad says he was worried about the direction Note's life is taking, so he let himself into his son's room for a look around.
First, Note's father tried to get into his son's computer, but without success, for it is password-protected.
Then he tried his desk drawer and wardrobe, where he found a picture of his older friend Job, and a gay video.
'I found the VCD in the wardrobe. I was not surprised. I knew it would probably be this kind of video, for you are still a teenager. I don't know whether you and Job have tried making such a video together.
'You don't have to tell me. Mum was unhappy, she cried right there in your room. But I am confident that in a short time, Mum will have come to terms with it, because she loves you. '
Dad, who wants time alone to accept what his son has become, says he would be away from home for three days.
He was going to Chiang Mai, to earn money to support his son's upkeep, and that of his younger siblings. He left this parting message to his son:
'Look after Mum and the others. Please try to make Mum smile – she's been worried for days now. It's not beyond your ken, because you are smart and resourceful. I am always proud of your academic achievements.
'But I still have to accept what you have become. Please give me time. Think carefully before you head down this path, son. I am worried about your future. Mum and Dad can but raise the child, not the man he will become. '
Postscript: At the time he left his posts at the Pantip board, the father and Note had not yet spoken. Writing from Chiang Mai, the father said that when he calls his son's cellphone, Note does not answer.
However, his wife had seen him in the bedroom using the computer, so he suspected he had read his open letter.
Note had sent him a message on his cellphone, a piece of poetry, which he received early one morning, and took as an encouraging sign that his son still cared. 'The wind can blow as hard as it likes, but as long as the sun shines, the flowers will always open.'
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