Get out of that sun

The boyfriend is on the telephone, angry.

He is calling the internet provider. Our signal is so poor, I can’t get it on my home computer.

That means I can’t surf the net. I can’t blog. I might get restless.

The boyfriend wants to keep me happy, so that I stay out of his hair. Without prompting, he calls ToT, the state-owned body which controls gateways to Thailand’s internet.

We rent a high-speed net service from ToT. Some days, we get a connection. Some days we do not.

‘The bastards just keep me waiting and waiting,’ he grumbled, puffing furiously on his cigarette.

‘There are no officials available to take your call, ka’ Maiyuu says, mimicking the voice recording he gets on the phone. ‘Please wait a moment longer...’

‘Chang yet!’ he says.

That’s a swear word in Thai. It gets a frequent airing in our house, as Maiyuu grapples with officialdom over the phone.

In the end, he gives up. A moment after he hangs up, internet service is restored.

The light on my modem stops flicking, which means we have a steady signal.

‘Thailand is like that,’ says Maiyuu in disgust, before heading out the door.

He was taking a pair of trousers to a clothes mending shop. He wants the shop to let them out, as his waist is getting bigger.

Maiyuu has taken on the role of housewife in our home.

He has waited a long time for this, I suspect – the opportunity to quit work and care for me as a full-time housewife.

His friends have all found boyfriends (husbands) and elevated themselves to housewife status.

Yet here he was, at 30, still trudging out to work. That had to end, so one day he simply stopped going.

Two months of tension and uncertainty followed, as I tried to figure out what was going on. Did he want to work, or not? Was he going back, or not?

Maiyuu spent his days at home, sleeping, eating, and doing little else, as he waited for me to wake up and adjust to the new reality.

Maiyuu longed for a signal from me that it was okay if he stayed at home.

It took me a while to catch on. At first, I thought he was depressed, and was waiting for his spirits to revive, at which point I assumed he would return to work.

No. Maiyuu had tired of the workforce. He could spend his days more productively, looking after our place, and caring for his ageing farang boyfriend.

Eventually I realised that he wanted to be a homebody. I told him it was okay to stay at home, if that is what he wanted.

However, he would have to pull his weight, or I would ask him to go back to work.

He is doing a great job. It is early days, perhaps, but most nights, when I come home from work, I find a house transformed.

The dishes are washed. He has ironed my clothes. He has cooked. Even the air con in my bedroom is on, waiting for my return.

When I walk in, I find Maiyuu, as fresh as a daisy, watching satellite TV, waiting for his husband.

‘You didn’t answer my phone message!’ he said the other night, as I greeted him.

Maiyuu wore a bright yellow T-shirt, and pretty boxer shorts. He looked lovely. That’s what all men like to see after a hard day at work.

‘I am sorry – I was busy,’ I said.

I hung up my hat and coat at the door. They hang next to my wife’s apron.

I jest.

I finally saw Maiyuu’s text message the next morning.

He thanked me for buying him a packet of cigarettes.

‘How are you – okay? Kiss, kiss!’ it said.