The tooth fairy

Today is payday, when the boyfriend likes to get up early to go shopping. He rises at 5am to visit a supermarket, and stock up on household supplies which have steadily depleted over the last two weeks since my salary last came out.

It is always fun to see what he brings back. Today, I get a bottle of body cream, and a handful of toothbrushes. In this hot climate, I use the body cream often, to keep me smelling good.

As for the toothbrushes, I get through them at a furious pace, as I brush my teeth too much.

‘You get holes in your teeth because you brush them too hard,’ says the boyfriend, who rarely brushes his at all.

‘You also visit the dentist when it is not necessary. See – my mouth is full of holes,’ he says, opening it for my inspection.

He exaggerates, but he does have a few holes, because he refuses to visit the dentist to regularly to get work done.

‘One day, you will need to go, and I will be faced with a huge dental bill,’ I said.

I visit a dentist in the market where I live. The dentist, a Thai-Chinese man in his 50s, runs two clinics here, which suggests he is busy.

In this market, some Thais, at least, go to see him regularly.

As the farang in this relationship, it falls to me to be the worrier and planner. Today, I worry about the boyfriend's teeth, and wonder why he won't go to see the dentist.

Dental care kit for the elderly in Talad Phlu

I am waiting for someone to invent a Thai-boy wand, which I can wave at the boyfriend when I want him to do something. Then I can stop fretting.

‘If that ever happens, I will get them all pulled and put in perfect false ones instead,’ he said.

My boyfriend believes this is the solution to his dental problems – yank the lot out and start again.

‘I will have perfect teeth, like an actor, while you will be stuck with your old ones, which still cause you trouble,’ he said.

‘I would still rather keep my real ones,’ I said.

My boyfriend makes a sucking noise with his teeth, which helps alleviate pain in those teeth which have holes. I have urged him to visit the dentist, but he will not go.

He puts up with toothache, because he does not want to waste money. I admire the sacrifice he makes on behalf of our relationship, though I suspect he would avoid the dentist even if he lived alone.

My boyfriend is lucky – has has one of those magnificent smiles for which Thais are well-known.

‘Thais are famous overseas for their bright smiles,’ I tell my young students, when I teach them English.

They look at me passively.

‘But to keep them looking bright, you should visit a dentist.’

Actually, I don’t say the last part. My dentist makes enough money as it is, without me helping his business.

It's because I don't like giving him money unnecessarily that I want my boyfriend to go. Prevention is better than cure, ongoing maintenance better than big repair jobs.

Now, if I can just work out how to do it...