She would give me a massage, then ask me to read from an English-language massage manual in return.
We met three or four times. Toi, who comes from Esan in the North-East, has just finished a massage course.
She wanted to improve her English before travelling overseas, where she hoped to find a farang to marry.
Unfortunately, this massage enthusiast couldn't keep her hands to herself.
'I hope you don't mind if I touch you,' she told me the day we met. 'I am not like other Thai woman...I am not afraid to touch people.'
As I read from the manual, Toi acted out the meaning of words on my body. I did not invite her, she just did it.
'Squeeze,' I said.
Toi squeezed my leg as if she was still massaging it.
'Knead,' I said.
She changed her grip, and kneaded my leg instead.
Once, she started beating my leg. I can't remember what word I read out to trigger that response, but she hit me too hard.
After Toi's painful demonstration on my leg, I sent her a text message the next day, cancelling lessons.
Toi left school early, had brought up a daughter, and now dreamed of finding an elderly farang to look after her.
Overseas, she hoped to find work as a massage therapist, and pay for the rest of her teenage daughter's education. She would find a farang man, and drag him back to the Northeast. She would persuade him to build a home for them.
'Do you know any elderly Americans at work who would be interested?' she asked.
She was serious.
'No,' I said.
'If the farang I meet is really old, and needs stimulating down there, I know massage steps to make him hard,' she said, while inserting her fingers into my groin.
Toi tried her luck with me. Why look overseas, when there was a farang man right here?
'How could someone reach your age and still have no Thai girlfriend?' she asked.
I ignored her.
Next month, Toi announced, she would move to Phuket, to offer massage services. She was not interested in Pattaya, as it was too seedy. In a few more months she hoped to have saved enough to go overseas.
A mutual woman friend introduced us.
'The farang is kind-hearted. He will help with your English,' my friend offered.
Thank you for volunteering my services! Why didn't you ask me first?
Our first lesson did not go well. Toi asked me to read from an English textbook into a hand-held recording device. I had read 30 pages before she would let me finish.
Toi interrupted often, asking me to repeat things. She could not remember instruction I had given her moments previously. The woman was stupid.
She tried mimicking the accent or emphasis I put on particular words as I read out sentences. Toi had told herself that tonal emphasis was the key to sounding convincing.
'Look, English does not have tones in the same manner as Thai.
'If it comes out with emphasis, it's because of its meaning in the sentence. But that's for advanced learners...don't go fooling around with that. Your job is to concentrate on pronunciation, and learning vocab,' I said.
For Toi, that was too hard. She cancelled a couple of classes, because she was busy taking a hair-dressing course. When I asked her if she had learnt the vocab I gave her, she brushed me off.
'I will just copy the way you say it,' she said.
Toi had persuaded farang before me to make voice recordings. She played a recording of a farang teacher she knew, who sounded miserable as he read out her English phrases.
'Is he good?' she asked.
He was a native speaker; of course he sounded good!
After cancelling lessons, Toi called me persistently. I refused to take her calls, and eventually she gave up.
Toi was keener on farang than learning English. I enjoy teaching Thais, but try to avoid those who really do not want to learn.
This sort of subtle whoring is inevitable in a third world country.
ReplyDeleteWhile I don't like and never exploit it, I understand the situation.
Thailand has nothing on the Phillipines in this regard.
Two weeks ago I went to a birthday for a pinoy couple (straight) here in Manhattan. I have known these people for some about 5 years and the wife is always playing matchmaker offering relatives to me that are half my age etc.
At this party things got more annoying than the usual, at least three women were -constantly- taking pictures, mostly of me. What I finally asked "why all this attention" my host pointed that they all had daughter that I "might like to meet" and were going to send them pictures.
In general, I actually find Thais to be among the least pushy Asians in this regard. It is appreciated.
This is a sad story.
ReplyDeleteAs you note, you can't learn it for them. They've got to take some initiative. It's too bad the Thai education system isn't very good. And that poor people in general have little opportunity for quality education. So these people have no idea how to really go about learning. And they muddle through life as best they can and try to use the strategies that worked for some friend or relative or acquaintance who managed to get a better life.
I think calling it "whoring" is needlessly harsh...even if it is true. Until you have been in the shoes of a bar boy or some one who has limited or no options I think it is hard to judge them and what they have to do to survive. I guess your Filipino friends must think you are a good catch if they are trying to fix you up with all of their daughters. Too bad you can't marry their sons instead. :-)
Thank you for the comments.
ReplyDeleteLino: I agree with Glenn...too bad they weren't offering you young guys instead! I am not sure I could handle a guy half my age...I have tried that, and it just made me age prematurely.
Glenn:
You wrote...
So
> these people have no idea how to really go about learning. And they muddle
> through life as best they can and try to use the strategies that worked for
> some friend or relative or acquaintance who managed to get a better life.
>
You put it well. This woman left school early, as her parents wanted her to work. She lives close to Laos, in the poor Northeast.
A young friend of mine who works in the same massage shop comes from Laos. She does not know the day of the week she was born on, because in those days - she is only 22 - they did not use calendars in Laos.
As a result, her mother does not know for sure when she was born. She is one of 11 children.
My friend from Laos, called Porn, sells steamed rice for the shop owner. She has good Thai, but almost no English.
Inspired by the massage woman's example (they know each other), she, too, wants me to teach her English. 'Could I be a guide to tourists?' she asked.
I did not want to shattter her hopes. She could be - but only if she is prepared to put in years of study first.