Power play

The boyfriend complained of stomach pains. My bickering over the finances was causing him stress. Whimper....whine...moan. He asked me to buy some Coke, to help ease his stomach cramps, which I did.

'If this argument over the finances is causing you so much stress, then I will forget about the demand for a share of the extra money from work...I will even give you a share of the cheque I get from Google every month,' I said. 'Things will go back to the way they were.'

He pulled up the blanket and said nothing.

In truth, we did not get to 'arguing' about it...we just exchanged a few stiff text messages.

However, I knew if the matter was not defused soon, a heated argument was not far away, as Maiyuu refused to haggle with me, or even consider my demands.
I asked him how he felt.

'Up to you,' he said.

That's Thai speak for: 'I feel great, thanks very much, that you have dropped all your demands and given me exactly what I wanted all along.'

I decided I needed time away from home, so spent the day yesterday in the company of a farang friend. He rents a comfortable home close to a temple about 10mins from my place.

After drinking until sundown there, we carried on to Pin Khlao, though not to Mum's shop, which is dead - but a small eatery close to the Chao Phraya river, which was lively, and a more enjoyable way to spend the evening.

Last night when I returned home, I found Maiyuu had bought no food for us to eat. It is one of his jobs, but he hadn't done it. He jeered me when I walked in the door, to make me feel victimised and small, as he knows he can do it.

'No, there's nothing to eat...the shops in the market are closed. No, I won't go down to look for anything...you will have to go outside again yourself.'

I said nothing, and took a shower. When I came out again, I heard him ordering pizza on the phone.

Maiyuu knows he can bully me up to a point, but that ultimately he has to help, or I really will blow up.

Gays like inflicting emotional (and other) pain on each other. Maiyuu enjoys flexing his muscles, to see how much he can upset me. Last night, for a change, I refused to respond to his provocations. I played meek, acted the victim, to see how he would react.

Ten minutes later, I was lying next to him with my eyes closed, in front of the television. He prodded me in the shoulder.

'Why don't you go to bed? Don't fall asleep here.'

Meekly, I did as I was told.

I hope he noticed that I showed no interest: No customary 'good-night', or anything else. As the bullied party, or victim, as some readers have put it, I had become timid and submissive.

What he needs, of course, is for me to yank down his pants next time he walks past. I should give him a firm spanking on the backside, as he seems so intent on acting like a child.

Children bully. Adults negotiate and try to reach a compromise.

I have a surprise for him this morning. Today I shall go from being meek and submissive, back to being the strong half again.

I shall demand he gives me B2000 a month from the extra B12,000 I am making every month.

'I have changed my mind,' I shall say.

Maiyuu argues that he spends his money wisely, on meeting our needs as a couple, but that I tend to spend my money only on myself, or other people. He has a point.

However, I am not asking for much. I doubt he needs an extra B12,000 a month to meet our needs as a couple.

In any event, life is too short to spend worrying about it.

Plenty of Thais survive on much less. Maiyuu appears to have stopped working, so is bringing in no income, and making no contribution to our relationship, other than helping keep the household running.

Being gay does not give him the right to wield power or influence over anyone, just because his partner might also be gay and inclined to want to settle arguments rationally rather than use brute force.

But if it's force he wants - as some kind of weird confirmation that I really do care - then I can do that, too.