Green curry duck, user Thais, Kong, Phiwit: boredom sets in

Chef Maiyuu s pulled a large duck carcass out of the fridge yesterday, and like a professional butcher started cutting it up.

The meat went into the casserole. I thought he was making it for Golf - his friend with the pet Chihuahua – but in fact it was for us.

Golf, who regularly orders dishes from him, pays Maiyuu for the ingredients.

He makes meals and bakery dishes, which she takes home to her family. 'Mum likes duck...can you make duck?'

We pay for the electricity, gas, water, and anything else we haven’t bought the same day to prepare her dish.

Forget the coconut milk? Never mind, we’ll use our own!

Forget to buy wrapping plastic? No worries, we have plenty in spares.

Maiyuu also donates his labour and cooking skills, which I find upsetting. It’s not an ideal arrangement, but they are friends.

Golf does, however, have the good sense not to appear when our money is running short.

She usually visits us around payday, when we are still flush with cash and presumably don’t mind indulging her wishes.

Dear Golf, why don’t you and your Mum cook something, and invite Maiyuu around as your guest some time?

Friendship is a two-way thing. No one likes a leech.
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Kong looks in danger of losing his eyesight after his road accident in Tomorrow, I’ll Still Love You.

His eyesight is fine one moment, fades to blur the next.

In last night’s episode, when he realises he might go blind, he picks a fight with boyfriend Phiwit.

‘Don’t come back here...I don’t want to see you again,’ he says by the front gate. Phiwit is shocked, as they were getting along so well.

Moments before, they were teasing each other playfully in the kitchen, as Kong whipped up a quick meal.

Kong heats his cooking oil for a weary 10 minutes as he and his boyfriend exchange playful banter. ‘Sssss...’ goes the oil, raising this viewer’s tension levels.

When will Kong stop playing around with his mate, and get on with cooking?

As Kong’s oil bubbles away restlessly, Kong tells Phiwit to get a haircut, as his hair is too long.

‘Shall I cut it all off, and go skinhead?’ asks Phiwit.

‘No...I don’t like that,’ says Kong. He wants his boyfriend looking good, not like some bald-headed bodgie on a bike.

Phiwit leaves the kitchen, Kong’s eyesight fails again. Fade, blur, shaky cam.

Kong stumbles around his cooking space. Scary close-ups of the sautéed chicken and the angry wok follow.

Will he wear the cooking oil, and in a delicious helping of tragedy heaped upon ill-fate, end up facially disfigured as well?

Phiwit re-enters just at the right moment. The spatula has gone on a quick airborne journey across the kitchen, but apart from that, no drama has transpired.

Cooking-oil crisis averted, he asks if Kong is okay.

‘I think we’d better get you back to hospital!

Sitting in the garden, Kong commiserates with his sister and the household help over his likely fate as a blind man.

His Mum overhears them talking; she is shocked to discover that her son reckons he might lose his sight.

Oh piss off, woman. Your family keeps you in the dark, and you are too stupid to figure out what’s going on. You stopped being credible long ago; now you are just a pain.

Cut to the front gate. Phiwit has bought in food from outside. He gives it to the household help.

Kong presents himself at the gate and tells Phiwit to leave his life.

Unspoken, dramatic sub-text: If he does go blind, he doesn’t want Phiwit to have to carry the burden.

Kong picks up a hose and turns it on his boyfriend, trying to shoo him away.

Phiwit wrestles it off him, gets cross, and storms off.

‘When you’re ready to talk sense, call me,’ he says.

‘But you’re all wet. Hurry inside and change, or you’ll get a cold,’ he adds.

Gakkk. Director’s message to increasingly impatient audience: Phiwit and Kong are sweet, caring and protective of each other, no matter how many crises beset their lives.

Where most straight characters in the show have long ago abandoned any decorum as the pressure heaps on, Kong and Phiwit can still be decent to each other, despite the occasional fight or misunderstanding.

It’s this tender stuff which gets viewer fans of this gay coupling so excited.

Later, Kong and the household help (Toon, a fat ladyboy inserted for comic relief) turn up at the racetrack where Phiwit, a hi-so type, races cars.

As they watch from a distance, Phiwit is talking to a handsome young man who could be mistaken for his next gay wife.

Kong watches Phiwit, but doesn’t let him know he’s there.

‘How could you have found a new wife so fast!’ he’s thinking.

Kong’s eyesight fails again, so Toon hurries him away. I could go on, but by this stage I was sick of the show's melodrama, and was busy with other things.

Boyfriend Maiyuu and I jeered as we watched it.

It airs again tonight. I will carry on writing brief summaries, though to be honest I can’t wait for it to end.

Whatever gay promise that the Kong/Phiwit coupling once held has been dashed against the rocks of credulity. It’s just another ‘saow Y’ fantasy (girls who like to fantasise over gays). Anyone who tells you differently is a member of the ‘saow Y’ generation herself.

Here’s a definition of saow Y (เด็ก ตัวน้อยใสซื่อ) supplied by a denizen of the Pantip webboard:

สาว Y = สาวน้อยน่ารักใสซื่อไร้เดียงสาที่ชอบจินตนาการจับคู่ชายหนุ่ม A กับชายหนุ่ม B ให้เป็นแฟนกัน (แม้ที่จริงพวกเขาจะเป็นชายแท้ก็ตาม) ถึงแม้จะจินตนาการอย่างนั้นแต่แท้จริงหัวใจพวกเธอล้วนบริสุทธิ์ดังนางฟ้าตัวน้อยๆ