Sweet nothings in a vacant lot, out-of-season harvest

‘Do you love me?’ asked Mr Ball as he walked me home from carer R’s ya dong stand the other night.

We were on the vacant lot, a tumbling mess of weeds, broken ground, delapidated housing, and wild dogs.

It was hardly the most romantic place in which to be speaking the sweet language of love, but there you are.

‘Yes,’ I said.

Mr Ball had imbibed to excess, shall we say.

‘I have no one to talk to...I can’t rely on my friends,’ he said.

The next night, when we walked home across the lot, hand in hand, he was more subdued.

‘You can be my elder brother,’ he said.

I was relieved to hear that, as I am not interested in romance with a 19-year-old. I can love him as a father figure or elder brother does, but nothing else.

He likes our walks across the vacant lot, because we are alone. He sits next to me at carer R’s stall, because we are close, and he likes to drink my ya dong.

When he is not there, regulars tease me about him. 'Where's Ball?' they ask, as if I have misplaced my boyfrend somewhere.

I don’t know what Ball really wants, but nor do I worry about it any more.

Last night, my friend farang C, who lives in the same condo complex as me, joined us at the ya dong stand.

As I massaged Ball's back for him, farang C told us stories about women of the night he has known in Bangkok.

Ball has never been to a tourist nightspot in Bangkok other than Suan Lum Night Bazaar. He was intrigued.

The three guys also talked about English football, which they follow.

It was good to see Ball interacting with another farang. I watched his reactions closely.

'Yes, he's straight. That's so straight!' I told myself, as I studied his body and facial movements.

I was convincing myself that Ball is what he says he is: a young men who prefers women, but who is perhaps just lonely, and in need of strong men in his life.

Farang C, who is dyed-in-the-wool straight, reckons Ball is gay, but I am not so sure.

'He's such a girl!' said farang C, when Ball was out of earshot.

When Ball’s had a few, he veers off the straight track, it's true, and the more he imbibes, the more he appears to desire male affection.

When he wakes the next day, he can’t remember anything from the night before. Perhaps that is just as well, but none of this makes him gay.

Carer R says I should just 'harvest' him. But I can't see it happening, as everything between us would change.
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Carer R would like an invitation to my place for a meal. First, I’ll have to pack off boyfriend Maiyuu.

Maiyuu is not a sociable type, and would rather do without the bother of having to entertain one of my friends at home.

Carer R, who is 22, and married, has also invited me to his visit his father-in-law's home in Yasothon in April, so we can take part in the next bun bang fai rocket festival.

The trip probably won't happen, but at least these things are possible to contemplate, for carer R is an adult.

With someone as young as Mr Ball, on the other hand, where do you even begin?