Getting worked up over nothing

My friend farang C has experienced first-hand how frustrating Ball's family can be.

I had told C that Nong Mew, one of the toddlers of the household, was having his first birthday the other night.

Farang C, who knows Ball but has never met the rest of the family, decided to buy a couple of dishes to help them celebrate. He bought takeaway food at a Thai restaurant in soi Ngam Duplee.

He took me there for a look. The place is run by gays.

We had a quick meal, and ordered his two takeaway dishes. I called Ball's mother and asked if I could escort C to her home.

‘Yes, come, come...’ she said.

He also wanted to meet toddler Mew, and catch up with Mr Ball, whom he hadn't seen for months.

I walked C through the slum to Ball's place. When we arrived, Mum was absent; she was nearby, playing HiLo.

Her youngest son, moody Beer, met us at the door. From where I stood, I could see Ball sitting at the computer in a darkened space off the main sitting room.

Ball called out, but didn't rise from his seat. He couldn't see C standing next to me, apparently, and nor could he hear him.

Farang C flew into a huff because he thought Beer's manner was unwelcoming (Mr B is never welcoming towards anyone).

Mum wasn't at home, the toddler was nowhere in sight, and Ball refused to get up to greet us. C turned on his heels and stormed away, taking the food with him.

‘I wasn’t brought up like that. When a visitor calls in, you greet him properly,’ complained farang C.

Ball's Mum was apologetic when she found out what happened.

I spoke to her at Mew's party a few hours later. She asked why I didn't call her when I arrived; she was planning to leave her HiLo den to meet us, she said.

I didn't think of that, I must admit. Ball said he didn't see farang C there. He called out, asking me to come in, but I didn't respond, as I was busy talking to moody B.

I am in the bad books with the family myself, though they are too polite to show it.

I left with Mr C. Moments after that episode, someone on a phone number I did not recognise started calling me furiously.

Later I learned it was Ball’s elder sister, Kae, who was standing at a cake stall at a local supermarket and wanted to know if I still intended to buy Nong Mew a birthday cake as planned.

Mum had called me earlier that day, complaining she had no money. I offered to buy the cake to help her out.

I gave boyfriend Maiyuu B400 to buy a cake in town, and called Mum to ask how to spell the child’s name in English. Maiyuu said he would ask the baker to write a birthday wish and the child’s name on top.

However, after the episode with farang C, I decided I couldn’t be bothered.

I refused to take the call, and turned off the phone. I also told boyfriend Maiyuu to forget about the cake.

When I turned up at Ball’s place about 9pm to join the party, Mum asked me where I had been. She must have noticed I was carrying no cake, but said nothing.

‘Were you with your farang friend? Ball told me you had turned up with someone, carrying food. I didn’t know you’d get here so soon,’ she said.

‘I called out, asking you to enter, but you didn’t hear,’ said Ball, who looked nervous.

‘Why didn’t you just walk in?’ asked his girlfriend Jay, who was also present when I arrived with farang C, though I didn't know it at the time.

It was so dark inside – they turn off the light to save power, and alleviate the heat – that I didn’t see her.

‘It was a misunderstanding. I took farang C back to his condo. By the time I returned to my own place, Maiyuu had gone out, so I missed the chance to organise the cake,’ I lied.

‘It’s a shame...Nong Mew missed out on the chance to blow out candles on his first birthday cake,’ said Mum, adding she regretted not being at home to welcome us.

‘The place was full of teens. They have no idea what is going on, as they wander around in a daze,’ said Mum.

Ball looked at her but said nothing. He must have heard it all before.

The child’s mother, Kae, said nothing to me, but no doubt was disappointed. Kae had not bought a cake herself, as she thought I would do it. I did not buy one, as I didn’t like the way farang C was treated.

Mum must have done well at HiLo, as the place was groaning with food.

I learned later that Ball’s family has just had the internet connected. The novelty has yet to wear off.

Now I can understand why Ball was reluctant to get up...he wanted to finish whatever he was doing on the internet, which would have taken only a few moments.

He is used to seeing me, as I am almost a member of the family. He knows I can wait.

I am sure that if he had seen farang C, he would have risen to greet us.

Welcome to family life. With so many lives intersecting in the one place, the potential for misunderstandings and miscommunication is high.

You learn to fit in, and if you don’t like it, look for your adventures elsewhere.

Farang C has been critical of my involvement with Ball and his family...like many readers of this blog, he thought I was motivated by lust, thought it was all about Mr Ball, thought I was trying to 'do good', blah blah.

He's had his eyes opened. It’s about family. Why else would I bother?

I have known Ball and his family for six months. I rarely deal with any of the young people one-on-one, including Mr Ball (except when we are chatting over a drink).

Like the others, he's just a youngster. I make arrangements with the mother, as one of the few adults there.

Since I quit acting as an older, carer figure to Mr Ball, our relationship has improved. Now, for the most part, we carry on as friends.

If Mum calls complaining she has no money, I no longer feel a rush of pity, especially as circumstances can change in a matter of hours, as they did on the day of the party. I keep my wallet closed.

Ball has a cold, which has spread to his chest. I thought of buying him medicine, but decided against. That’s his mother’s job, not mine. I don’t want to ‘interfere’.