Chef Maiyuu’s break into the commercial baking world may have arrived.
Maiyuu knows a woman who runs a bakery close to home. She sells little from her shop, but makes mainly to order. However, her shop has a display cabinet, and a fridge.
Maiyuu made several chocolate cupcakes for her to sample. She called him back as soon as she had tried them.
‘Your baking is delicious!’
She has called Maiyuu back to the shop so they can talk.
Recently, Maiyuu has also talked about making home-made ice-cream for order. He will put up an advertisement in our condo, and any tenants interested in ordering his stuff can get in touch.
At the moment he has several flavours in our fridge: blueberry soft cream, kiwi sherbet/sorbet, mango, and milk tea.
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My brain appears to be growing soft. Thankfully, I am aware of the change as much as anyone else, so have not suffered any dramatic loss of face.
I get tired easily. Things which mattered to me once now have a fuzzy feel about them, as if they are really not so important after all.
Maybe I should create a Facebook account, and vent my spleen in the same way as everyone else.
Once I have let off steam, will I start caring again? Or has it seeped away into the lost years of my youth?
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Ball may be in danger of losing his girlfriend Jay.
Jay's father has arrived in town from Chiang Mai, where he lives, to pick up his daughter. He wants to take Jay back to Chiang Mai, as he misses her.
Jay does not want to go, as she has found a good job here, and loves Ball.
Ball knows that if Jay goes, he will have to start again.
He has mixed feelings about their relationship. He loves Jay, and feels sorry for her at the same time.
'She has a big bruise on her leg where I kicked her once, and bruises on her wrists after she put up her hands to stop me hurting her,' he said.
Yesterday he apologised for the harm he has inflicted on her in the year they have known each other.
The good news for Jay is that Dad could be persuaded to let her stay, if he knows she is happy. The bad news is, he is under the mistaken impression that Jay lives in Bangkok alone.
Jay's elder brother, who also lives in Bangkok, lied to Dad on her behalf. He mentioned nothing about the fact she actually lives with Ball's family.
Dad has arrived, and wants to see his daughter, so it is only a matter of time before the truth comes out.
Ball said that when Dad makes contact, he will probably ask his mother to talk to the man, as it is a matter for adults to discuss, not teenagers.
I told him that Jay should have told the truth from the outset.
'Nothing would make a father more worried than knowing his teenage daughter is living in a strange city alone,' I told him.
'Jay's brother told the wrong lie.'
22 comments:
ReplyDeleteAnonymous10 July 2010 at 02:28
Great news, l wish Chef Maiyuu all the luck in the world....can he deliver outside Bangkok?...order in the post!!
As for lack of brain function, been there, l'd offer some of my medication but you'd be even more tired....but at least you'd get a good nights sleep. ;-)
Good luck Maiyuu
love to you both
Wilks xx
PS check out youtube for Specsavers advert, Thunderbirds are go.
Lady P x
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Bkkdreamer10 July 2010 at 07:38
Lady P: Thank you for the best wishes. I shall pass them on to the chef.
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Anonymous10 July 2010 at 15:30
actually dad might demand a wedding since jay is living together with ball...this isnt western society...here comes the wedding...save your money for the bash...maybe maiyu can do the cake
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Bkkdreamer10 July 2010 at 16:57
I hope there's no wedding, as they're not ready for it.
Ball has talked about moving away from home, as he dislikes the way his elder brother and sister have a go at him.
However, he knows he can't, because he doesn't have the money.
I can't imagine the father will remove Jay from Bangkok. He has a new family in Chiang Mai, and will probably return there alone. What I find bizarre, however, is that he has yet to make contact with his daughter. Is he scared of a confrontation? It's all too peculiar.
Thankfully, she works six days out of seven, so I rarely have to talk to her. I am sure she feels the same way about me, as we appear to occupy different spheres in Ball's life.
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Joyce Lau11 July 2010 at 00:29
"She has a big bruise on her leg where I kicked her once, and bruises on her wrists after she put up her hands to stop me hurting her,' he said."
If that is not a description of domestic violence, I don't know what is.
"Put up her hands to stop me hurting her."
That's really just a euphamism for "I was holding her down so hard that I left bruises on her wrists". And that's pretty hard.
I don't want to get into any personal experience, but violence against women is a serious problem. Some people talk about violence against men, but 99% of the time, the guy is the aggressor. Men are generally physically more powerful, and more highly ranked in society.
BKK -- When everyone else was criticizing you, I was willing to give Ball the benefit of the doubt re: being a drunk, being unemployed, etc. But whatever sympathy I had for him vanished when I found out he's beating his girlfriend.
If they get married, he will inevitably become a wife beater. I don't take the explanation that it's a "cultural difference." Rich, poor, Asian, Western, it's really wrong.
I don't want to sound like I'm blaming you -- I'm not. I'm just saying that this is another strike against your helping or supporting this guy.
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Bkkdreamer11 July 2010 at 07:18
ReplyDeleteJoyce: I am not about to offer cultural differences as an excuse. Like you, I think it is wrong. However, he is still a teenager, and inclined to lose his temper.
I don't regard it as a strike against my helping Ball. We all do bad things. I hope he grows out of it.
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Anonymous11 July 2010 at 07:45
if he hasnt contacted her.....i am wondering if he has "slum life syndrome"....if he drinks and gambles like some of the others...maybe thats what is taking time..i do hope not
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Anonymous11 July 2010 at 10:25
"However, he is still a teenager, and inclined to lose his temper.
I don't regard it as a strike against my helping Ball. We all do bad things. I hope he grows out of it."
I just lost all my respect for you. You two truly deserve each other.
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Anonymous11 July 2010 at 16:02
I thought it was odd that up until Joyce's comment, no one mentioned the abuse.
Something he'll grow out of? Who's to say.
It seems to be working for him now because she hasn't left and seems to think that the abuse is part of "Love". So what's the motivator for him to change his behavior if she allows it.
I can't speak for other readers, but I wonder that if as gay men growing up, abuse was prevalent in our lives as well. I know this is true for me. All the f'd up crap I witnessed, in the home and at school, led me to believe that this was normal. Years later, I learned different.
Oh what a tangled web we weave.
Good luck to the b/f on his baking. I'd love to sample his goods. (the cooking!)
JT
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Bkkdreamer11 July 2010 at 16:24
JT: Thank you for the kind words on the baking. I hope he finds interested buyers, as his baking deserves to be better known.
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Brad.11 July 2010 at 18:52
While this gay man has never seen his own parents fight--argue from time to time, yes, but never beating--I, too, join Joyce in her recognizing the beginnings of what could be a lifetime of wife-beating. It certainly is wrong, and not a civilized way to deal with disagreements.
Why you don't say anything to Ball about stopping this behavior is beyond me. Are you afraid of losing him? Is that more important than how he treats the women in his life? BKK, you are missing an opportunity to show both Ball and Jay that you are a man with values worthy of the respect that neither of these two young people has ever given you.
I would not stand for knowing that a friend of mine was beating his girlfriend or wife. Either he would stop it, or I'd be out of there. My leaving very likely would not change his/their behavior, but it would clearly show him that I strongly disapprove of his incipient wife-beating.
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Bkkdreamer12 July 2010 at 03:11
Brad:
You said: 'Why you don't say anything to Ball about stopping this behavior is beyond me.'
And how do you now I haven't?
As it happens, I have.
'Either he would stop it, or I'd be out of there,' you said.
If my best friend was beating his partner, I would want to know why, but I wouldn't sever contact with him because of it.
My friendship is worth more to me than what he is doing to his girlfriend, who may be someone I don't even know.
We may have known each other years before he met the girl. Do I toss it in because I discover he hits his grlfriend?
It is so easy to give a speech about wife beating and throw up an impenetrable wall.
Joyce wrote:
'Men are generally physically more powerful, and more highly ranked in society.'
Yes...and how does that help Ball, or his girlfriend? It doesn't.
Still less does walking away, I imagine, as that gesture only lasts five seconds.
I hold my friends in higher regard, no matter what they are doing in their private lives. I would talk to them first, and maybe other people who knew, including their parents. The girlfriend might also have a point of view.
Walking out is so easy, it's a cop-out.
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Anonymous12 July 2010 at 05:25
'My friendship is worth more to me than what he is doing to his girlfriend'.
what friendship?
/
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Anonymous12 July 2010 at 08:16
ReplyDeletebeside being an alcoholic needing help for substance abuse...now anger management...this isnt normal teenage rights to passage...joyce is the only sober one here...abuse and alcoholism usually gets worse until treated
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Anonymous12 July 2010 at 08:29
Dear BKK, I must join those that so justly criticize you. U are blind or really in love that is the same as blind. But the facts are the facts as you relate them, and he is not your friend or lover and you are blind to a long list of misdeeds. Your role as model or mentor is hard to find in your posts about him.
And good luck to Maiyuu who deserves better from you and life. Great blog ! We are all so interested in it. Thanks for sharing your experiences
Fran
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Bkkdreamer12 July 2010 at 16:36
Anon 2: Not normal rites of passage? They look
ordinary enough to me.
Fran: Those moments when I act as mentor to him may be hard to find, but they are there nonetheless. I have spoken to him about the way he treats his girlfriend.
He told me yesterday he would stop hitting her. He reached that conclusion without any intervention from me, as I have done nothing in the past couple of days but listen.
I praised his decision, and he looked happy to get that acknowledgement. Now we will see if it works.
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Anonymous13 July 2010 at 06:28
bkk, you are right. i have fond teenage memories of getting drunk and smacking my partner. wake up fool
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Anonymous13 July 2010 at 08:07
ball is proving to be a weakling and a coward to hit jay or any other form of partner abuse...is he too pretty for your eyes to see that??
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joma13 July 2010 at 13:48
I am really the opposite of physically abusing somebody. For me, at one time years ago "out of the blue" my Indian BF who is much smaller and weaker than me, hit me quite hard. First I did not understand it. But after some thinking it was an eye opener for me and we started some discussion. I did hurt him in his heart. I don't know what was more paining. And it was a one time incidence. But these things can happen in a relationship. So many of you seem to be so much beyond extremely strong feelings. This may be good for your daily life but I doubt you know extreme feelings like unconditional love. I may be right or wrong, but these things happen under the given circumstances and Balls GF doesn't seem to bother at all. It doesn't look like a habit developing.
And yes, love is blind, but I would prefer to be blind than miss that experience.
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Bkkdreamer13 July 2010 at 16:44
Anon 1, 2: What is it about blogs that appears to bring out extreme views in readers? Or do you carry on your everyday lives peddling this inflexible thinking without anyone else noticing?
Joma: I used to see a guy who was smaller and younger than me. He hit me occasionally too. He was possessive, jealous, and angered easily.
These things can happen in a relationship, you are right. Ball's girlfriend Jay, I noticed last night, is still walking with a limp after he kicked her last time.
Apart from that, everything in the household looked normal. They spoke to each other in a friendly fashion, which makes a change from the arguing, bickering, and moody silences that I have witnessed on some other days.
I am not blind to Ball's failings - nor to his girlfriend's, for that matter. When in a bad mood, they do their best to provoke each other, as kids are inclined to do.
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popeluzifer15 July 2010 at 23:30
Hallo bangkokdreamer,
I hope that you are fine as you are not posting that often anymore in the last week as before. I miss to enjoy your postings and read about daily life with chef/boyfirend Maiyuu and the ongoing story with Ball and its family.
Keep on the good work and keep as informed and do not pay too much attention to all the know better anon in here.
Heads up and all the best from
popeluzifer in Asoke
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Bkkdreamer16 July 2010 at 06:25
ReplyDeletePopeluzifer: Thanks for the friendly message.
I post less often because I have little to add about Ball and his family at the moment.
I see them most days but have spent more time lately with Ball rather than his mother.
We're in the same room together, but Mum has been busy on the phone or chatting with her own friends, so I have little family news as such to share.
I tend to see them at night, when everyone else is there, as I have been busy during the day lately.
Daytime visits are usually more productive, as there are only a few of us present.
At night, the place is more crowded and hectic, and we do not get much time to talk in detail about anything.
Daytime visits might resume in a couple of weeks.
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