Wet weather friend

When I came home from work, the lights were out.

Maiyuu had gone out. I checked my cellphone. He had sent me an SMS shortly before, letting me know that he would not be home.

'But there's food in the fridge,' his SMS said.

Well done. If boyfriend goes out, he should tell his mate, right? Cooking is even better.

I cast a quick glance around the place, which I had not seen in five hours.

The dishes were done. The dining table was clear.

I walked into my bedroom, where I found my washing on the bed. Maiyuu had retrieved my washing from the balcony in time to avoid last night's fierce rainy-season downpour.

Can this get any better?

Maiyuu had done everything I could expect of him as my stay-at-home other half. Nine years of breaking him in to farang ways are starting to pay off.

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God, another night battling Bangkok floods.

Farang C and I waded though ankle-deep water and pelting rain to reach home last night.
We live in the same condo, and are also friends at work.

Thai colleague Sor dropped us off in his car. Rather than take us all the way home, he let us off close to a railway line about five minutes away.

I was carrying a small portable umbrella. Farang C had nothing.

'I think you should have asked him to take us all the way home,' said farang C, as we sloshed through the floodwaters in our soi (sub-street).

'I plan to complain to the Drainage Department. This is terrible.'

My Thai friend Sor has given me a lift home after work for years.

Last night was farang C's first ride.

I know Sor's habits: he doesn't like to deviate from the route he knows. To put it more simply, he gets nervous in unfamiliar territory.

'I couldn't have asked him to take us all the way home. Imagine if his car had become stuck in the floods around our place,' I thought.

Farang C was soaked within moments of leaving the car. My portable umbrella was too small to be of much use, and before long I was soaked, too.

I contemplated the state of my track shoes, which have only just recovered after I was last caught in heavy rain a few weeks ago.

'After you were stuck in the rain last time, your track shoes stank,' farang C told me.'I had to hold my nose.'

After that day, I kept wearing them into the office, just in case I was stuck in heavy rain again on the way home.

I wear them to protect my proper work shoes, which I take in a bag.

Last night as our shift ended I changed from my work shoes back into track shoes, as I suspected he would have to walk through the wet again. I was right!

Slosh, slosh. Sploosh, sploosh.

'The trick is to stuff wet shoes with newspaper as they dry, so the smell goes away,' said farang C.

Back at the condo, we chatted in the corridor. His place is right next to mine.

I fetched some newspaper from my place, as he had run out.

Farang C stuffed his track shoes with newspaper. After we said our goodbyes for the night, I stuffed mine as well.

I like having a close friend. I have waited eight years in this place to get one. Farang C is straight, but doesn't seem to mind my funny gay ways.

With him, I can just be me. And in this odd place called Thailand, we can all do with a bit of that.

In the dark: Poj's 'Friends' revisited

Poj Anon's gay drama, Friends, aired on satellite television last night. I watched it with boyfriend Maiyuu for the first time since we bought the movie on VCD at the local 7-11, more than 12 months go.

Even though we had the film on VCD, it never made it beyond a single viewing, which is unfortunate, given the many hours I put into writing about it on this blog.

Also known as Bangkok Love Story, it is a tale about a gay relationship which develops between a hitman and a policeman.

Producer Sahamongkol Films insisted on violence to give it more general appeal as an action thriller.

It hoped mainstream audiences could then forgive all those annoying scenes of the male leads in white briefs looking moodily at each other against dark cityscapes - or rolling about on a soi making love to each other in the rain.

It was Thailand's first attempt at a serious gay drama, which Poj had strived his whole career to make. Well, that's what the media told us.

Personally speaking, I think director Poj should stick to making the slapstick kathoey comedies for which he is better known.

Friends, while beautifully shot and made with a pretty soundtrack, tries too hard to be dramatic.

The film is light in dialogue, which director Poj must have thought was a plus. Yet dialogue doesn't have to get in the way - in fact, it is essential for establishing motive, and getting at the humanity of us all.

All Poj had to do was watch a typical British TV drama - Dalziel and Pascoe, which Maiyuu and I watched on TV this morning, comes to mind - to see how it should be done.

The British know how to do drama. Thais, who are not good communicators anyway, reckon events should speak for themselves. The result, in the case of a Friends, is a movie which characters emerge as mere puppets.

By the end of the film, everyone but one male lead is dead...yet do we feel anything? Do we ever see him interact meaningfully with colleagues, friends, family?

'I have Aids, and sold my body,' Mohk tells his elder brother, hitman Mehk.

Slap, slap, slap across the face.

Moody music.

Cut to train station. Mohk will go to Chiang Mai for treatment. Mehk will take him.

Fate, however, intervenes. As the brothers head towards each other on the platform, police emerge to arrest Mehk, who has been on one of his shooting sprees.

Old photos carried by Mohk come loose from his bag and scatter to the winds of time.

Cut to hospital, where Mohk dies of his disease.

In all of this drama, barely a word is spoken. it is as if Poj is telling us that 'real' men, even when they have a gay streak, can't communicate. Or is it just a Thai thing?

The ear drop master

Maiyuu has been putting in my ear drops.

I am a hopeless patient, and hate things getting in my ear. It is much better if ask him to do it rather than attempt such a difficult task myself.

Twice a day, I put my head on his knee, left ear facing upwards - and grip his leg tightly, to prepare myself for the awful sensation when the ear drops fall in my ear.

It tickles, it hurts.

My initial reaction must have seemed extreme to poor Maiyuu, who now counts down before he squeezes the bottle, releasing the solitary drop on its long journey into my sensitive hole.

'One...two...THREE!'

Last night he tried a new variation on the countdown routine.

One..two...two and a half...two and a bit...THREE!'

I hate the drops, but am enjoying the encounters on Maiyuu's lap. When he plays nurse, he's rather cute.

-
For those who really want to know, I have left a brief account of my latest argument with the boyfriend in the comments section of the last post. Here's a copy, without the spelling mistakes:

'Maiyuu had taken his I-phone into the repair centre to get them to install a Thai language programme.

'He didn't tell me. The other day while I was out, I called and sent an SMS, but he did not reply.

'When I got home he told me he had sent it away three days ago. I asked why he chose not to tell me.

'He reckoned it wasn't important. I insisted it was, as he could have done anything with it - sold it, lost it - and I would be the last to know. I might also have been calling him urgently.

'He says he is always at home anyway, and there is nothing so important that it can't wait until I get home too.

'He has a point there, but still I would like our communication to improve. I dislike being left in the dark.

'I over-reacted. Maybe it was a bad day.'

Cooking the blogging goose

Readers can be an insistent bunch. We want this! We want that! And if you don't provide, we'll go somewhere else!

One reason I welcome comments is that I want this blog to reflect reader demands.

If I turned off the comments, let's say, all you would get is my idea of what a blog should look like, but nothing more.

If you ask for something and I provide it, the blog reflects more of what readers want, not just me.

I posted a fluffy piece yesterday about ear drops; then, at the request of a reader, included a brief description of my latest argument with Maiyuu.

That's not the post I intended to leave, but it looked better as a result.

There are limitations, of course. I won't drop the boyfriend, just because a few disgruntled readers from Silom's blog, for example, may not like the sound of him.

I suspect I have annoyed more than a few farang readers with my stories about Maiyuu. They are used to getting their way with Thais, perhaps...or maybe they just seethe with the rankling injustice of it all.

This unpleasant set invariably posts under the anonymous label, despite their supposed bravado.

I want to bring you one reader comment - anonymous, needless to say - which someone left on this blog in response to yesterday's post. He's responding to my remarks that I seldom get to meet Maiyuu's relatives.

Earlier, I said the profusion of new Thai gay bloggers has given me the ability to say 'piss off' to hostile posters with impunity.

Even if I lose one reader today, I am likely to pick up another few passing their way through the other blogs. We all link to each other after all...
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''Very suspicious that the 'love of your life' doesn't let you meet his relatives; but you probably fund them anyway.

The 'power' that comes with a 'real blogging community?' You're off your meds again, mate.

If your blog becomes nothing more than a sparring match between Maiyuu's cooking and Thai fashion-chickens, your blogging goose is already cooked - there are only so many times that you can rehash all of those old stories.

Incidentally, you might mention to Maiyuu that you make more money when you give details on the blog- I suspect his opinions are highly influenced by that particular issue, no?''
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I deleted the post from the comments section when it appeared, but am reviving it here, because this reader deserves his moment in the sun.

Why is he so grumpy - can't he just enjoy the wonderful guys illustrating this post like the rest of us?

PS: When I told Maiyuu that readers like hearing about our domestic dramas, he put aside his usual reluctance to have me publish personal matters in this blog.

Maiyuu told me to go ahead and publish whatever I like. Happy blogging days ahead!

Anatomy of Thai argument

Today, I said I'd bring you a tale about the boyfriend's underpants, right? Okay, so maybe I was joking, or as one reader put it, being 'snippy'.

I had to ponder for a moment when I read that: I wasn't sure what 'snippy' meant.

Maiyuu spent most of the day yesterday getting around the condo in a pair of soft-cotton white boxer briefs. He looked great. No doubt they also felt good on his slim body.

I was looking forward to taking that body (and the thinking part of him, of course) on a walk to the local flea market, about 10 minutes from our home. In the end, I went alone, as fate intervened. In the two hours previously, we argued.

'Would you like to come with me?' I asked when it was over.

'I am no longer in the mood,' said Maiyu sadly.

I had wrecked it. Still, it was a good argument, as these things go. We talked out our problem, and now understood each other.

As we sat in front of the television last night, we started the process of rebuilding, which is always necessary after a row.

We talked about the third season of America's Got Talent, which was playing. Neither of us was really that gripped by what we saw, I suspect, but it was a way of healing the emotional wounds which had opened.

Since turning over a new leaf on this blog, I can't tell you what our argument was about. My boyfriend might read it, then I'd be in trouble again.

You will recall that a while ago, Maiyuu took a read of this blog and discovered I had been sharing our secrets...relating our domestic dramas in intimate, painful detail for the perverse enjoyment of readers.

'You tell your friends about me, but only tell them the bad things. They get a bad impression of me, and other Thais too,' he said last night.

He wasn't talking about the blog as such, but my general habit of telling people too much about our lives - all the stuff he would rather keep hidden. Oops, did I really say that?

'If a couple has problems, they should keep it between themselves.'

I am not sure I agree with that in all cases, but never mind.

We live in Bangkok, one of the world's largest cities. But sometimes the space I occupy with Maiyuu seems extremely narrow and suffocating, as if no one else's views or experience ever surface, or in his eyes, rate a mention.

The fact that I have spent most of my life overseas, where I have friends, a work history, and loving family seems not to count.

'You are in Thailand now. You want to be like a farang, you should find a farang partner. If you want to fit in, you have to be like Thais.'