Thinking of home

Ball’s place in the slum is a lively, affectionate home to nine permanent members, including two toddlers – but for how much longer?

Mum is my age, her partner Lort in his late 40s. The youngest members of the household are toddlers, both aged under two.

They look set to stay for a while. Some other members of the household, however, are restless.

The toddlers enjoy cuddles and kisses, and get them in spades, as Ball’s family are warm, loving types.

When the boy, Mew, sees me arrive, he heads straight to my arms. He also enjoys climbing on my back.

The girl, Fresh, is more reserved. She will hold up her hands and give me a wai before wanting cuddles.

Fresh, who is slightly older, is Ball’s favourite. He regards the girl, who was adopted, as his daughter.

When we are together, Ball plays mainly with Fresh, while I play with Mew.

Mew is the son of Ball’s elder sister Kae and her boyfriend.

They have built their own little world upstairs, on the same level where Ball and his girlfriend Jay sleep. Two bedrooms are upstairs – one for each couple.

While Ball and Jay have little other than the clothes and a few other bits and pieces to their names, Kae and her partner Tum are more industrious.

They have created a small enclosed space around their room, comprising a wardrobe, desk, even their own fridge.

Recently they asked me if I would take on a loan to buy a car on their behalf. Mum has her own pick-up truck, but they wanted a vehicle to call their own, even though they share the same home as everyone else.

They look like they are preparing to leave the family home to set up sticks of their own.

Ball and his girlfriend Jay, meanwhile, have started talking about moving out to rent their own place.

Jay would like a room closer to where she works. She would also like to remove Ball from the malign influence of the slum, as he finds it too easy to drink there.

I buy alcohol for him, and when Mum’s friends turn up, often they bring more.

‘If he moves in with me, he won’t find it so easy...we won’t have the money,’ she told me.

Like Jay, I would like Ball to live in safer, more pleasant surroundings.

But I would be sad to see him and his family break up. It is also home to Ball's younger brother, and occasionally his elder brother, a soldier who lives on base. He is close to both.

They are decent people, and get along well enough.

Part of me hopes they can stay together, as I enjoy them the way they are.

Going into battle

‘So where did the car business end up?’ Ball’s mother asked.

'I decided against helping, as I don’t want to get into debt,’ I told her.

Mum wasn’t interested. As I spoke, she barked out orders to the kids, almost as if she wasn’t listening.

Mum was more concerned about saving face.

‘When you told Tum that you weren’t prepared to help, the man from the finance company was on his way here.

'In fact, he had reached the top of the soi (street) when Tum called to say he could go back, as the farang had changed his mind,’ she said.

So what?

‘I don’t care what some finance company guy thinks. I don’t want to get into debt on anyone’s behalf,' I replied.

‘Asking someone to take on debt on your behalf is not some trifling matter. I am debt-free, and I like it that way.’

Again, my remarks were drowned out as she barked out commands to young members of the household. The toddlers were being naughty, and she wanted youngest son Beer to give them a bath.

I tried another tack.

‘I had asked to talk to you first, and we agreed to meet here at 1pm, if you remember.

‘Earlier, Tum told me the finance company man wouldn’t come until at least the next day, as he wanted Tum to reserve the car he wanted.

‘But at 1pm, just as I was heading out to see you, Tum called to say the finance man was coming early, and wanted me to sign the loan document.’

I doubt Mum was listening, as something else had taken her attention. A security guard from the condo nearby had turned up at the door, prattling about nothing.

I was starting to lose my patience.

‘So, did you want them to buy the car?’ I asked, ignoring the disruption.

‘No...I didn’t want them to get into debt,’ she said.

I was surprised to hear that Mum, too, had doubts about the car purchase plan. I glanced at the door. The security guard had left, so we were now at peace.

‘Why didn’t you say anything?’ I asked. ‘You reckon I should have communicated better...what about you?’

No answer.

-
Ball’s first pay packet comes out next week, on the same day as I go overseas.

Before I leave, I want to arrange two things: a new ATM card for him, and a wallet for him to carry it in.

Ball had an ATM card, but lost it. His mother keeps his bank passbook locked away.

I have asked her to dig out Ball's bank passbook, so we can make a new ATM card.

When Ball's pay comes out, he will need his card to withdraw it. I told her that if she finds the passbook and hands it over, I will transfer a small sum to his account, to help with expenses.

Earlier, I told Mum I would give her B200 a week to supplement the money she gives him for work. She gives him B60 a day for food and transport costs.

I decided against giving it Mum herself, as Ball would probably spend it on a can of beer during his lunch break.

Once he starts drinking, he gets on a roll, and finds it hard to stop.

He could do the same thing should I transfer money to his account, of course, but it's harder to get at there than cash in hand.

Ball says he has asked his mother to return his bank book, but she declines. She worries that when his pay comes out, he will spend recklessly.

Yet if Ball is prepared to take on the adult responsibility of work, he is entitled to other trappings of adulthood, such as the right to hold on to his own ATM card and passbook.

He is chafing for the right to grow up and be seen as an adult in the eyes of his family. I doubt his mother is aware of just how much he wants to elevate his standing in their eyes.

The first time his pay arrives, he might make a few mistakes. But if he wastes it, I am sure he will regret it later, and it won't happen again. His girlfriend will also act as a restraining influence.

Today I will buy him a wallet, if I can find one I like.

In the next few days, he has to report to the local body office, as a first step to submitting himself to the military conscription draw next April.

We can probably get that done during his lunchbreak. If we still have time, I want to take him and his mother to the bank to make a new ATM card.

If his mother fails to dig out the passbook in time, I plan to pick him up from work during one lunchbreak this week and take him to the bank myself.

We can make an ATM card together, even without her help.

Headstrong?

After the unpleasant exercise over the car, I don't care much how she feels.

Dodgy car offer

I am contemplating buying a car on behalf of Mum's daughter, Kae.

She wants to buy a Chevvy with her boyfriend, but they don't have enough money to get finance approved.

They have asked me to buy it in my name, because I earn enough to satisfy the finance company.

I would buy the thing, but Kae and her boyfriend Tum, who have jobs, would pay it off. After 12 months, I can transfer ownership to them.

Kae and her boyfriend assure me they can make the payments, even though the finance company is reluctant to approve the loan.

'We have enough money, but the finance company is worried it may be too little,' Tum told me.

I didn't understand that remark, and told him so.

Confusingly, Tum said he would act as guarantor if they failed to make payments.

'How can they accept you as guarantor when they wont let you buy it?' I asked.

I was unable to get a clear answer. Let's put it down to one of those infallible Thai mysteries.

'At this stage of our lives, we have no debt, so would like to establish our foundations by buying a car,' said Kae.

'In a few years, our son will be old enough to start school. Our expenses will go up, and we may not get this chance again.'

The pair owns a motorcycle, but Kae tells me they have paid it off. Payments on the car would amount to B6,500 a month.

Ball, who is nursing a grievance with his sister since they argued a few weeks ago, doesn't like the sound of it.

'We already own a pick-up truck; why do they want a car as well?' he asked.

'It will only increase financial pressure on Mum, as they are bound to want to borrow money from her if they can't make ends meet,' he told me.

If I sign my name to the arrangement, we have wait for word from the finance company as to whether it is willing to approve the loan. I hope the finance company says no.

If it says yes, I become the owner of a second-hand, five-year old Chevvy.

Who would insure the thing? I have no idea.

I hope the pair don't get into any scrapes in the thing, or hit anyone with it. Nor would I want them breaking the traffic law during the first 12 months while I am owner.

In the event of trouble, the first person the police will come looking for is me.

Naughty pics threat

I just love writing in the dark.

That's how it feels when no one leaves comments.

Please liven this place up a bit, and start responding to posts.

Otherwise, naughty posts is all you will get :)

Independent streak

Young Mr Ball is chafing for his independence.

Mum holds his ATM card and the passbook for his bank account.

He has yet to get paid in his new job delivering mail at a city bank. On the day his pay comes out, his mother might agree to relinquish the ATM card long enough for him to make a withdrawal.

However, she will expect a decent share of his earnings, to help her meet expenses for the next month.

Mum gives Ball B60 every work day for his food and travel expenses. She wants Ball to help her meet that cost.

The B60 she gives him for his work expenses each day is enough, but Ball is worried that after he divides up his wages to pay his mother, he will be left with little, if anything, to call his own.

‘I am in a job, and have a girlfriend. I am grown-up, but Mum persists in seeing me as a child. I would like to start saving money, so we can one day rent a place of our own – a room in a dormitory, perhaps, closer to my work,’ he said.

I offered to talk to Mum on Ball’s behalf, but he has asked me to say nothing.

We will wait to see what happens on pay day. If he is willing to work, Mum should be willing to trust her son enough to return his ATM card – even if he does end up spending the money on the wrong things, at least at first.

‘A mother can’t protect her son forever,’ he said.