Going into battle

‘So where did the car business end up?’ Ball’s mother asked.

'I decided against helping, as I don’t want to get into debt,’ I told her.

Mum wasn’t interested. As I spoke, she barked out orders to the kids, almost as if she wasn’t listening.

Mum was more concerned about saving face.

‘When you told Tum that you weren’t prepared to help, the man from the finance company was on his way here.

'In fact, he had reached the top of the soi (street) when Tum called to say he could go back, as the farang had changed his mind,’ she said.

So what?

‘I don’t care what some finance company guy thinks. I don’t want to get into debt on anyone’s behalf,' I replied.

‘Asking someone to take on debt on your behalf is not some trifling matter. I am debt-free, and I like it that way.’

Again, my remarks were drowned out as she barked out commands to young members of the household. The toddlers were being naughty, and she wanted youngest son Beer to give them a bath.

I tried another tack.

‘I had asked to talk to you first, and we agreed to meet here at 1pm, if you remember.

‘Earlier, Tum told me the finance company man wouldn’t come until at least the next day, as he wanted Tum to reserve the car he wanted.

‘But at 1pm, just as I was heading out to see you, Tum called to say the finance man was coming early, and wanted me to sign the loan document.’

I doubt Mum was listening, as something else had taken her attention. A security guard from the condo nearby had turned up at the door, prattling about nothing.

I was starting to lose my patience.

‘So, did you want them to buy the car?’ I asked, ignoring the disruption.

‘No...I didn’t want them to get into debt,’ she said.

I was surprised to hear that Mum, too, had doubts about the car purchase plan. I glanced at the door. The security guard had left, so we were now at peace.

‘Why didn’t you say anything?’ I asked. ‘You reckon I should have communicated better...what about you?’

No answer.

-
Ball’s first pay packet comes out next week, on the same day as I go overseas.

Before I leave, I want to arrange two things: a new ATM card for him, and a wallet for him to carry it in.

Ball had an ATM card, but lost it. His mother keeps his bank passbook locked away.

I have asked her to dig out Ball's bank passbook, so we can make a new ATM card.

When Ball's pay comes out, he will need his card to withdraw it. I told her that if she finds the passbook and hands it over, I will transfer a small sum to his account, to help with expenses.

Earlier, I told Mum I would give her B200 a week to supplement the money she gives him for work. She gives him B60 a day for food and transport costs.

I decided against giving it Mum herself, as Ball would probably spend it on a can of beer during his lunch break.

Once he starts drinking, he gets on a roll, and finds it hard to stop.

He could do the same thing should I transfer money to his account, of course, but it's harder to get at there than cash in hand.

Ball says he has asked his mother to return his bank book, but she declines. She worries that when his pay comes out, he will spend recklessly.

Yet if Ball is prepared to take on the adult responsibility of work, he is entitled to other trappings of adulthood, such as the right to hold on to his own ATM card and passbook.

He is chafing for the right to grow up and be seen as an adult in the eyes of his family. I doubt his mother is aware of just how much he wants to elevate his standing in their eyes.

The first time his pay arrives, he might make a few mistakes. But if he wastes it, I am sure he will regret it later, and it won't happen again. His girlfriend will also act as a restraining influence.

Today I will buy him a wallet, if I can find one I like.

In the next few days, he has to report to the local body office, as a first step to submitting himself to the military conscription draw next April.

We can probably get that done during his lunchbreak. If we still have time, I want to take him and his mother to the bank to make a new ATM card.

If his mother fails to dig out the passbook in time, I plan to pick him up from work during one lunchbreak this week and take him to the bank myself.

We can make an ATM card together, even without her help.

Headstrong?

After the unpleasant exercise over the car, I don't care much how she feels.