Ownership claims

Ton works as a masseur, and relies for his income almost entirely on tips.

He finds it hard to make ends meet, as he refuses to perform sex for customers.

When the customer starts to feel aroused, as he invariably does, the massage comes to an abrupt end, along with Ton's hopes of making a good tip. Ton has to pass the customer on to someone else, who works in another room upstairs.

Ton is in his early 20s, and claims he has never had a boyfriend. He lives in a box-like place deep inside a soi nearby.

Last time we drank together at Mum's shop in Thon Buri, I took him home, and massaged his back, to help him get to sleep. He has no cellphone, but called the next day or two after that…then nothing. When I asked him last night why he stopped calling, he said he was afraid my boyfriend would get angry.

At the shop, we drank together for a couple of hours. A few of Ton's friends were already there, young men who work in karaoke shops nearby. They know each other, because they live and work in the area.

Ton bought dried squid from a man with the charcoal grill on a cart. He gave one paper plate to me and a farang friend, while he and his friends took the other.

He bought me beer, which he topped up assiduously, as well as replacing the ice. I scribbled down my phone number and gave it to him, but one of his friends, whom I also know, signalled with his eyes that I should walk Ton home.

Ton takes home a bottle of beer each night, to help him sleep…otherwise he says he would lie there sleepless, worrying about money. He would like to find a new place, and has to borrow money just to pay the rent.

'I worry you will tell my friends or someone around here that I have no money and need help to pay the rent,' he says with a crestfallen look.

'I would never say such a thing,' I replied.

When we arrived we squeezed into his tiny bathroom so he could wash my feet. He won't let me perform the same service for him, as I am older. He asked me to turn away while he put on a body wrap.

Last time he was embarrassed to show me that heat-allergy related sores had broken out on his chest, arms and legs. Last night he was proud to show me that they had now cleared, though the bill for the doctor and drugs came to almost B2,000.

Ton was almost asleep. I asked him to sit on the floor, then started massaging his back and shoulders, which I do with his T-shirt on.

Ton asked me many times if I still have a boyfriend, and why I am not with him. When I am with Ton, I do not want to think about Maiyuu.

Ton would never ask me to help him with his financial worries, unless we entered a relationship. I already have one, of course, as I live with boyfriend Maiyuu. However, even being his friend is awkward, as Ton has no money. It is an ever-present hassle.

Leaving the shop, Mum asked Ton to pay for a beer which he forgot he had ordered. This upset him, so when we arrived at his place I slipped the money into his wallet. I tried to give it to him earlier, but he refused.

The next day he called me from a phone box to ask in an aggrieved tone why I left him money. I was not like one of his massage customers, who might feel obliged to leave a tip.

I reminded him about the unpaid bill at the shop, and he settled down. He told me to take care of myself, before we ended the call, which may be the last time we talk to each other for another few months, just like last time.

The best way to forge close ties is to talk, and Ton and I do plenty of that. It builds mutual respect, tolerance and understanding.

He is proud, independent and determined, which I admire. But I can't offer him much more than friendship. He barely touches me, but on the other hand I do not need it; it is enough just to have him there.