Gays in the military (part 2)

Patta 'Nadia' Wiruntanakid, Miss Mimosa Queen Thailand 2015, reports for conscription

Komsak, a kathoey (ladyboy) excused on 'health' grounds, talks about his fears of military service:

'To be a soldier you have to follow a routine, a system, whether it's the time you get up, how long you get to shower...everything follows a strict regimen. It also involves physical exertion ... they make you run, shoot guns, lug them about.

'When I imagine life in the military, I just think negative things. I can't think of any activities which sound fun. I would get stressed and serious, and have to go through hardship.

'I just couldn't do it. I don't want to be a soldier. I think military training is better suited to bad boys, the rebels, to give them more discipline.

'I can observe discipline, but when the task really heavy, when I have to use a lot of energy or force, I just can't do it. I am a kathoey. My body is not tough enough. I would be scared I could not do it, or my body just not cope.'

Komsak suspects the gay and straight lifestyles are just too different.

'In the military they give you just a few minutes for a shower. I couldn't get finished in time. I must have longer than that. I also worry that they would give me a hard time if they found out I was gay. They would probably also train me harder than the others, to make me more of a man.'

Komsak said he would not like to be confined to army base. As a gay man, he likes his life to have colour, and enjoys mixing with people.

Satid, a young gay handed the red card, felt as if the world opened up and swallowed him when he learnt he would be conscripted. His friends predicted the military would try to turn him into a real man, and that the transition could be painful.

So, how do gays cope? The article suggests that in the first few weeks of conscription, gays manage by trying to tone down or hide their identity, or finding a niche for their talents.

Satid, who graduated in acting, and worked as a journalist before entering the military, was able to train in the radio communications section, and put on entertainment for the troops. Another gay, called Tee, says he joined the army cheerleading squad, where most training took place in the relative comfort of the gym rather than outdoors.

'I would like to say to other young guys about to enter the military that you should regard this as a new experience. There are many things harder than this; the military, you can do. Don't think you are different. We are a part of society that others cannot do without, just as we cannot do without them,' said Satid.

Jetsada, 22, who says he likes to live a life of harmony and beauty, was worried that in the military he would encounter only dirt, rain, and heat. However, he found the military was not as scary as he first thought.

Privacy, he said, was one of the first things to go - but after a while the body adjusts.

'I kept to myself and didn't show my gay side, because I didn't want anyone to know that I was gay. I was afraid I'd meet trouble, that they would try to turn me into a man. I acted the man as much as I could. If they wanted me to undress, I did it. Whatever they wanted, I did as I was told.

'After a couple of months, in which the training was hard, the things I had tried to keep hidden began to show. I couldn't go on, because it just wasn't me. I told a close friend that I was gay. He didn't mind...in fact, he admired me for having endured this much. Sometimes I had to put up with more than real men, in fact.'

Kitisak Kaetong, a masters degree holder, was in an army company of 100 men, of whom he held the highest educational qualification. Eight others held bachelor degrees, and the rest were all school-leavers. His company, he said, included one other gay.

'We kept it a secret, so no one else would know. When we were training, we did not let anything show. But the younger one, he wasn't able to keep it all in. As a result, he had to endure teasing about his girly walk. I felt sorry for him.

'After training finished, the others started calling me 'older sister'. The man in charge of the company didn't mind, because we behaved. We never had any problems. We stayed within the regimen. Whether everything goes well or falls apart, comes down to how well you conduct yourself.'

Jet says the experience changed him.

'Before, I was hot-tempered, arrogant, and liked to kick up a fuss. Now, I am much more cool-headed. I think rationally. I plan my life in stages. I am more responsible. I reflect on what I do and say.'

His advice to newcomers is not to think too much.

'In the first few weeks, everyone is scared. In my first week, I cried, but a friend cheered me up. It was a friendly, supportive atmosphere. Everyone was good towards each other.

'You should think of it as a role we have to play. When we carry out the role of students, we study books. Being a soldier is just another role.'

Kitisak says he learnt new skills. 'At the very least, you become more disciplined. You also get to enter another world. You could be anyone you like, but once you enter, they mould you into a single unit, until harmony is achieved.

'For those who are about to start, I would advise you not to stand out too much. Leave aside the inferiority complex. Try to set standards for yourself. Be strong. Don't be careless, and don't think you can get it on with anyone either.'

now, see part 3