I can feel myself weakening.
These days, every time I visit my friends at the massage shop I get a speech about the health benefits of taking ginseng.
The onslaught is just becoming too much. Soon I might have to buy the awful-smelling stuff just to shut them up.
Today when I dropped in to pay my masseur friends I visit, I was barely seated before one, Jay Pa, asked me if I was happy with my life.
I am used to getting probing questions from my women friends, because women, unlike men, are open. We - oops - they like to talk.
However, I did not suspect that this innocent-sounding question was really the opener to a 30-minute sales pitch. Silly me.
I told Jay Pa about Maiyuu's cancer diagnosis. She asked a couple of polite questions, such as whether he smokes (yes), and whether he is still in hospital (no). Then the ginseng pitch began in earnest.
'You know if he takes his cancer drugs and ginseng, it will go in no time,' she said confidently. 'Ginseng can make many diseases go away, even cancer.'
This was a different prognosis from the one given to me by a Thai friend at work, who predicted Maiyuu would live just a few weeks.
My friend Teep is deeply into his Buddhism, which has given him a fatalistic outlook on life, at least his present one.
'He won't last long,' Teep declared, as he took me home one night last week. 'Cancer patients never do.'
This is typical Teep. I wonder if he would be quite so blase about his own family, should one of them fall ill.
These days, every time I visit my friends at the massage shop I get a speech about the health benefits of taking ginseng.
The onslaught is just becoming too much. Soon I might have to buy the awful-smelling stuff just to shut them up.
Today when I dropped in to pay my masseur friends I visit, I was barely seated before one, Jay Pa, asked me if I was happy with my life.
I am used to getting probing questions from my women friends, because women, unlike men, are open. We - oops - they like to talk.
However, I did not suspect that this innocent-sounding question was really the opener to a 30-minute sales pitch. Silly me.
I told Jay Pa about Maiyuu's cancer diagnosis. She asked a couple of polite questions, such as whether he smokes (yes), and whether he is still in hospital (no). Then the ginseng pitch began in earnest.
'You know if he takes his cancer drugs and ginseng, it will go in no time,' she said confidently. 'Ginseng can make many diseases go away, even cancer.'
This was a different prognosis from the one given to me by a Thai friend at work, who predicted Maiyuu would live just a few weeks.
My friend Teep is deeply into his Buddhism, which has given him a fatalistic outlook on life, at least his present one.
'He won't last long,' Teep declared, as he took me home one night last week. 'Cancer patients never do.'
This is typical Teep. I wonder if he would be quite so blase about his own family, should one of them fall ill.
Maiyuu was not an innocent victim of a disease which could strike anyone, as nothing happens accidentally. His past misdeeds were catching up with him.
'He did not make enough merit in his past life - that's why your friend has cancer,' he told me.
'I hope he lasts longer than that,' I told him in a wounded tone. I suspect Teep was too thick-skinned to notice I felt hurt.
Jay Pa was kinder in offering Maiyuu greater hope, but her motives (selling ginseng at whatever cost) more ruthless. The ginseng people like to zero in on your health problems, and then offer an instant cure, which is always ginseng.
'I notice you also have a rash on your throat, where you shaved,' she said. 'Ginseng can get rid of that too.'
Young Porn, from Laos, was there too. She is another signed-up member of the ginseng clan, who listened to Jay Pa said avidly, and nodded her head in agreement.
'Does it make you tired?' Porn asked, referring to my rash.
Young Porn has a way to go before she can catch up with Jay Pa's medical diagnostic skills. It was just a rash.
'It doesn't make him tired, it's just itchy,' Jay Pa corrected her. I didn't have to say a thing.
'I urge you to buy a bottle, and try it for one month. One capful a day is all you need, but don't be surprised if medical problems you didn't know about suddenly surface. That's the poison in your body coming out,' she said.
'I don't want to get sick!' I replied, spying an opening in her spiel to escape her ginseng sales grip.
'Don't be shocked,' she said. 'Our bodies can harbour illnesses we do not know about yet, because all we can see is what is on the outside. But it is better to get them out, before the poisons in your body accumulate any more.'
Sigh. These people have an answer for everything.
'Just B800 for a bottle, and I am sure your friend's cancer will go, and so will your rash.'
I peered into her eyes, hopeful of finding another clue of how I might make my escape. But my predicament was to get worse.
'Or, you could sell it yourself, and become the owner of your own franchise,' she said, whipping out a receipt the ginseng people had sent her.
'The ginseng company transferred B2000 to my bank account his month, from selling their product,' she said.
'Like me, you could have you own franchise for just B7000!'
'He did not make enough merit in his past life - that's why your friend has cancer,' he told me.
'I hope he lasts longer than that,' I told him in a wounded tone. I suspect Teep was too thick-skinned to notice I felt hurt.
Jay Pa was kinder in offering Maiyuu greater hope, but her motives (selling ginseng at whatever cost) more ruthless. The ginseng people like to zero in on your health problems, and then offer an instant cure, which is always ginseng.
'I notice you also have a rash on your throat, where you shaved,' she said. 'Ginseng can get rid of that too.'
Young Porn, from Laos, was there too. She is another signed-up member of the ginseng clan, who listened to Jay Pa said avidly, and nodded her head in agreement.
'Does it make you tired?' Porn asked, referring to my rash.
Young Porn has a way to go before she can catch up with Jay Pa's medical diagnostic skills. It was just a rash.
'It doesn't make him tired, it's just itchy,' Jay Pa corrected her. I didn't have to say a thing.
'I urge you to buy a bottle, and try it for one month. One capful a day is all you need, but don't be surprised if medical problems you didn't know about suddenly surface. That's the poison in your body coming out,' she said.
'I don't want to get sick!' I replied, spying an opening in her spiel to escape her ginseng sales grip.
'Don't be shocked,' she said. 'Our bodies can harbour illnesses we do not know about yet, because all we can see is what is on the outside. But it is better to get them out, before the poisons in your body accumulate any more.'
Sigh. These people have an answer for everything.
'Just B800 for a bottle, and I am sure your friend's cancer will go, and so will your rash.'
I peered into her eyes, hopeful of finding another clue of how I might make my escape. But my predicament was to get worse.
'Or, you could sell it yourself, and become the owner of your own franchise,' she said, whipping out a receipt the ginseng people had sent her.
'The ginseng company transferred B2000 to my bank account his month, from selling their product,' she said.
'Like me, you could have you own franchise for just B7000!'
I should have known I would get a sales pummeling before I walked in. The ginseng people have started meeting at the massage shop every week. They whip themselves up into a religious-style fervour, until they just have to share the good news, come what may.
I considered offering Jay Pa the old line, 'I'll think about it,' but then dismissed the idea. She would have an answer to that too - and with that remark I would have taken a step further towards the day when I have to part with money to buy her product, not a step back.
In the end I decided there was nothing else to do but pretend I was Thai - just get up and leave for no reason.
I stood up. 'I am hungry,' I said vaguely, and walked towards the entrance.
Porn was quick to respond. 'Would you like to eat her with us, or at home?' she asked.
I could come back for another 30 minute blast on ginseng! What an invitation.
'Home,' I said, as I reached the door. I quickly put my sandals on.
'Any time you have a problem, just drop in for a chat,' offered Jay Pa.
Next time I'll be sure to bring another health problem along, so she can prescribe a cure.
Cheaper than a visit to the doctor, she says...more effective than alcohol.
It's ginseng!
This Thai habit of saying any misfortune is your own fault because of bad karma, former misdeeds etc is similar to "god's punishment for sins" that Westerners used to talk about when someone fell ill. Actually some still talk about that. It is not very helpful.
ReplyDeleteIt's backward thinking. Last night the same guy asked me how Maiyuu was doing. He knows nothing about lung cancer, but hasn't trained himself to listen to others who just might.
ReplyDeletePeople try whatever tricks they can to keep their grasp on a conversation as it unfolds. They don't want to be left out, because then they could look stupid.
The other day, talking about diabetes, he offered another stunning contribution: 'Sugar,' he said, as if that single word was the magic key which would unlock all the mysteries and complexities of this disease.
That was as far as that conversation developed, because I don't know anything about diabetes either - but unlike my friend, I know better than to comment. So 'sugar' it is.