Sunday 14 January 2007

Going straight


I so seldom write about anything gay on my blog these days that it is in danger of becoming straight...almost.

I do not meet any more gays or kathoey than the average person. In fact, most of my friends at my drinking spot are straight. I can think of few who are openly gay.

Many Thai guys might like men, or like talking to farang men, but that does not make them gay. Mostly, Thais are just curious.

Plenty of young guys who work in karaoke shops around there are gay, but I do not see them much, as they work so hard. We are not close anyway.

I do know two or three gays, who run a noodle cart, and are about to open their own karaoke shop/restaurant. I talk to them when I see them, but the conversation is nothing special.

We talk about things gay occasionally, but we don't feel any closer or more united as a result. We don't do gay bonding.

The conversation is basic. They left school, then went straight into service work.

The ones with whom I have the best conversation, unsurprisingly, are the educated ones, mainly law students. A few work in graphic design and event management, but all appear to be straight.

If they have girlfriends - and most are single, despite offers - I seldom meet them. My Thai male friends appear to make special times to meet the girlfriend, such as for meals. Beyond that, they spend their lives alone. Where their girlfriends go the rest of the time, I do not know.

If most of my friends are straight, then I should at least expect to meet gays through my boyfriend, right? Yet I do not, because I do not mix with his friends. It has been months since I have met anyone through him, other than his boss, who he brought home one night a few weeks ago.

So, if I am leading a gay existence, it is a strange one. One thing I do suffer as a result of adopting the gay lifestyle is a dearth of women friends. I rarely meet Thai women. I can't rely on my young straight friends to introduce them to me, as they do not mix with them either.

Once again, that's different from the West, where gays are usually good at bonding with women, and have plenty of women friends.

Straight men do not shun me...if anything, they seek me out for company. When we are together, we hardly ever talk about women. For my Thai guy friends, it is as if they do not exist - or are confined to a separate part of their lives which I do not see.

However, I do get to meet many young ones outside work, more than I knew in the West. Unlike in the West, I do not mix with many people my own age, or older, except for farang.

I know just one gay farang, and no gay Thais over the age of 35.

I just don't meet gays any more. Isn't that odd?

2 comments:

  1. working in the Big Mango should be FUN FUN FUN....

    i'm surprise that you find meeting rainbowlanders difficult... THEY ARE EVERYWHERE in the Big Mango

    ReplyDelete
  2. I agree, it should be fun. People at my office have enough problems dealing with their life outside its walls; they shouldn't have to put up with problems at work, too.

    I do not go to gay nightspots, as I do not see the point. I want to meet friends, not barboys. I passed the barboy phase years ago, as does any sensible person who has lived here any length of time.

    ReplyDelete

Comments are welcome, in English or Thai (I can't read anything else). Anonymous posting is discouraged, unless you'd like to give yourself a name at the bottom of your post, so we can tell who you are.