Thursday, 4 January 2007

Health scare

Boyfriend Maiyuu has been admitted to hospital with a urinary tract complaint.

Maiyuu left home at 4am on Wednesday complaining of abdominal pain. He declined my invitation to take him to a doctor.

A few hours later, he was walking around and found the pain so intense he could no longer move. A good Samaritan took him to hospital, where a doctor admitted him, and gave him a jab. He woke about 1pm that day, and stayed there last night.

Unfortunately, I was expecting to hear from him sooner. We had only just argued about his repeated and prolonged absences from home, and I decided that I had now had enough.

Before he had a chance to tell me about his hospital ordeal, I told him it was over, and spent the next two hours packing up his belongings.

I did a thorough job, even dismantling a lock on the front door, which someone will have to put back together again. These are the most dramatic steps I have taken to rid myself of the problems he is causing in my life.

I sent a message to one of his friends, who has yet to call back. She shows no sign of alarm, either about our impending break-up, or (when I updated the message) even Maiyuu's health condition.

But then the 'friends' in Maiyu's life do not function in the same way as my friends might do in the West.

In Maiyuu's circle of friends, I do not have access to anyone's ear to complain about his actions. I believe the counsel of friends can be important for keeping a relationship together, but Maiyuu likes to keep our problems a private affair, and won't tell anyone.

As I write this, his life still sits here, packed in a dozen black rubbish bags and boxes. Without his clothes and bags strewn about everywhere, the place looks empty. It feels even emptier without him.

Last night, I had second thoughts. I told Maiyuu that he could stay after all. He would have to forgive me if I made a mess while attempting to evict him.

He was not fully aware of what I was saying, as the doctor had just given him another injection to dispel a lump in his urinary tract, and strong sleeping pills, to knock him out while the drugs were doing their work.

He was not even sure which hospital he was in, though he thinks it might be Chulalongkorn. No friends had called, or visited. I suspect his boss might know, as Maiyuu has not turned up for work.

Today, if he finds out where he is being treated, I will pay him a visit. I am sure he would like to see a familiar face. In the hospital ward last night, as I spoke to him on the telephone, I could hear mainly the voices of older folk - elderly patients, I assume.

We will not have to say much. I will admire his hospital smock, and ask when he is likely to come home.

When he gets home he will need to rest, and I hope his doctor impresses upon him that message.

I have not unpacked his belongings, as I want to do that job together. It will be like starting over again. We will find a new place for all his belongings, many of which I am sure he had forgotten, as they were covered by yet another layer of stuff which he brought home from his life outside.

As everything piles up day after day, we can forget what lies underneath....what has always been there, if only we bothered to look.

I hope he realises that spending time at home can actually be rewarding. This episode will have shown him that friends can be an unreliable, casual bunch, and the outside world a scary place.

When we trifle with them, our health and happiness can quickly lose their foundations. Maiyuu - who has lost a lot of weight - stays out late, eats poorly, and gets little sleep, but like many Thais thinks dietary supplements are the solution to everything.

Last night, after making no contact for 12 hours, musician Muss sent me a text message asking if I could pay his rent this morning. I told him that Maiyuu had been taken to hospital, so I could no longer do it. He apologised for causing me bother and told me not to worry.

'If I do not have you, and no one believes me, then I have nothing,' Maiyuu told me yesterday, as he contemplated the end of our relationship, for the second time in a week.

I hope he means it. After his health scare, we will both get the chance to find out.

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