My little English affectation

Noom turns up in the audience, applauding Khem sarcastically

Noom, Khem in happier days

So, just how good is television presenter Khem Ti Sip's English?

Not much, judging by her performance in a television interview about her role in a high-profile stoush with two actresses over a car.

The Thai interviewer asked her a simple question in English.

'What...what..what?'

Khem says two actresses tried to force her out of her Mini Cooper car in the Emporium department store carpark last Thursday.

She refused. As the girls started to get hostile, Khem called a Thai friend for help.

She spoke in English, because she assumed that her two adversaries, who were trying to force her out of the vehicle, would not understand. English would give her an advantage, supposedly, though just how has not been made cldear.

Actresses Aum Patcharapa and May Feuangarom (or Fuengarom) lay in wait in the carpark to see who would claim a Mini Cooper they spotted there.

The car belongs to May. Her boyfriend, actor Noom Kanchai, bought the car in May's name, but lent it to Khem when he started seeing her a few months ago.

He started seeing Khem when his relationship with May hit a bad patch. Since then the pair have made up and are back together.

He 'forgot' to tell Khem that the car actually belonged to May, and when he went back to seeing May, 'forgot' to retrieve the car from Khem's place.

Khem was interviewed about the stand-off by 'Aor' Krittika Kongsompong (อ้อ-กฤติกา คงสมพงษ์), former presenter of the Thai version of the Weakest Link (กำจัดจุดอ่อน).

She asked whether Khem was correct in assuming the girls wouldn't understand her English, and whether it heped her get out of the scrape.

Khem replied that she was not sure, but at the time she was sure they wouldn't.

At webboards, Thais say Khem was looking down on the girls. She assumed May and Aum received their education in Thailand rather than abroad, so would not 'get' English when she spoke it to a friend during her moment of need.

Noom joined the audience of the show as the interview was beng taped.

Aor, a university lecturer with a PhD when she is not making occasional appearances on television, noticed that Noom Kanchai had turned up to watch. Khem hadn't seen, as she was in tears.

'The guy is here,' Aor told Khem in English.

Khem, who evidently prizes herself on her ability to 'get' spoken English, appeared not to 'get' Aor's remark.

'What?' she replied in English.

'They guy is here,' replied Aor.

That's one account of what happened, left at a Thai webboard.

The version I recall, as I watched it in admittedly noisy conditions at Mum's shop, is that Aor told her first in Thai that Noom had turned up. Out of the blue, Khem replied in English:

'What?'

Taking her lead from Khem, who had switched to English, Aor replied in English: 'The guy is here.'

She then repeated herself, as Khem failed to get it, or maybe failed to hear what she was saying.

Why did Khem switch languages? There was no apparent reason that I could tell. Shock, perhaps...or maybe affectation.

In another account, one poster says Aor broke into English after repeatedly telling Khem in Thai that Noom had arrived. She failed to hear, because of the buzz in the audience which accompanied Noom's arrival.

The exchange has prompted webboard sleuths to delve into Khem's educational background. Posters say Khem spent a mere two years overseas, studying for a Master's degree.

The rest of the time, she was educated in Thailand. They say her English is unlikely to be as good as she would have everyone believe.

At the Pantip webboard, several posters said Aor should have told Khem not that the guy is 'here', but used the Thai word for water lizards (ไอเหื้ย! - hia), which sounds similar, and which also serves as a word of abuse. 'That sleazebag is here!' (คุณอ้อ เค้าบอกว่า ผู้ชายคนนี้ เฮีย น่ะ ก็ถูกแล้วนิ ก็มันเฮียจิงๆ)