Friday 12 October 2007

Tribute to the hopeless male (ผู้ชายที่ไม่ได้เรื่อง)


How many gays can fix a leaking tap? And how many men end up without a female partner in life because they lack the skills which are normally expected of men in a relationship?

I can do hardly any of the things which men are supposed to be able to do: fix a car engine, build and assemble things. When I was young I dreaded the thought of growing up and one day, having to tell my children that no, I can't fix their bike.

The most I could do was pump up its tyres, because I used to do that to my own bike. However, if they want someone to thread the chain back on, they'll have to take it to a bicycle repair shop - or ask their Mum to do it instead.

In my boyfriend I am lucky to find someone who can do both left-brain and right-brain things. Maiyuu can sew, design the interior of a condo, cook, build a wardrobe, assemble an electric fan.

He looks after himself much better than I can care for myself. I can't even stitch on a button.

At the Pantip webboard, a Thai man has left an anguished post complaining about his own lack of skills in areas normally expected of a male.

If something goes wrong around the home - whether it's the plumbing, electrics, woodwork, or ordinary maintenance - he has to call the repair man, technician, or professional, because he can't do it himself.

At the moment, termites are eating his house, but he doesn't know how to fix it. He has not been able to find a girlfriend, either, and wonders if there is a connection.

Not to worry! Several men responded saying they were just as hopeless at doing things normally expected of a man.

One woman poster said she could do all those manly things, such as plumbing, carpentry, and fixing engines, because she used to watch her Dad do it when she was young, and also acted as his helper.

Her boyfriend, by contrast, couldn't do any of it, because when he was young he used to follow his Mum around everywhere - and she wasn't keen on her boy doing anything 'dangerous' around the home.

However, her boyfriend could do all the things normally expected of a woman, such as cook, sew, crochet, sweep the house, wash the dishes, and clean the bathroom - and do them better than she could. That's because he was stuck on his Mum when he was young, while she was stuck on her Dad.

So is it an environmental thing after all, rather than in the genes?

In closing, she leaves half a dozen questions about the poster's termites problem. She's an expert at getting rid of termites, too.

Another poster said that these days women don't expect much of men, anyway: if he can wash dishes, he's already doing well.

Another said her father could do all those manly things, so much so that they never had to call anyone in for help. However, it would take him ages to do anything.

The most cheering message came from a man who said he, too, was hopeless doing manly stuff around home. However, he reckoned men who could do crochet, knitting or embroidery possess a charm all of their own - even if they do attract some odd looks at times.

2 comments:

  1. A young Cambodian man who worked for me for over 10 years recently married an American girl.

    She is busy trying to turn him into the man her father is (one who fixes everything around the house and the car) and this young man is totally incapable of doing those tasks.

    I asked her if she was willing to do the things her mother does if her new husband begins doing all the things her father does....

    While she expects her new husband to be like her father she does not cook nor clean like her mother does....she is too busy playing sports!

    Why do we expect each of us to play some predetermined role?

    So, now this young man is busy pretending to be a "macho" man and has given up on those things that he likes to do to make his wife happy....

    Everyone brings traits into a relationship and it is those traits that are part of the person that we fall in love with....to fall in love with someone and then to expect them to become like someone else is not love....

    Tao

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  2. Quite right! I am surprised your Cambodian friend can find it in himself the ability to change so much. I would not be willing to change - but even if I was, I doubt I would be capable of doing any of those tasks, no matter how much I tried. Best keep the plumber's number handy, I think.

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Comments are welcome, in English or Thai (I can't read anything else). Anonymous posting is discouraged, unless you'd like to give yourself a name at the bottom of your post, so we can tell who you are.