Boy goes out with girl (2, final)

'Are you boyfriends?' she asked.

'Yes, but we don't go to bed with each other,' I said.

'Why not?'

'It makes life harder,' I said. 'How can you have sex one day, then argue about money the next?'

Actually, I did that quite happily, in my last relationship in the West. But here, I find it harder to do. In Thailand, it is important that I maintain my partner's respect, which we can do more easily as friends than as lovers.

Perhaps, in this strange land, I need him chiefly as an ally and helper, more than I did my last partner in the West.

'Won't he give it to you?' Tik asked.

Again, never once did the fearsome word 'gay' pass our lips. I just happened to live with a Thai man, who I had just admitted was my boyfriend.

But we skipped over the bit about whether I should describe myself or our relationship as gay. Tik was busy sizing him up as my partner.

'You lived with a woman in the West, didn't you,' Tik asked.

That means I could swap sexes again, if I wanted.

But I suspect even the knowledge that I once lived with a woman was beside the point. More important was, what arrangements had the boyfriend put in place to govern my life - and would he get jealous if she started playing a role in my life, too?

'Will he get upset if he knows you are here with me?'

'Will he get possessive?'

'Do you have to ask his permission to go out?'

I should have answered: 'Yes, I am his slave. How else should I live my life?'

Twenty minutes later, we decided to take a look at the shops. Tik found a shoe shop, took me by the arm, and led me inside. She tried on a pair of B175 shoes. I didn't know they sold women's shoes so cheaply.

'You can help, right?'

She chose the shoes she wanted, and asked me to pay. I handed her the money.

This looks good in front of shop staff. A girl needs a boyfriend who can buy her gifts at the mall.

Half an hour later, Tik decided she wanted a foot massage. 'Will you come with me as my friend?'

I agreed. We hopped in another Suzuki, and took a five minute trip in the opposite direction, past my place and over a bridge until we reached a small therapeutic massage shop which I would never have spotted from the street.

Tik had been here before. Most of the staff were from Esan.

'It's 120 baht an hour,' she said as we entered.

I suspect that meant that once again, she wanted me to pay. But I was tired of playing that game. We are not partners, so why should I?

While she had her feet massaged, I sat reading magazines.

'Why does the farang not want a massage?' one masseuse asked.

Tik rubbed my arm. 'He doesn't like massage. He prefers me to do it,' she said.

Tik has never offered me a massage. Once again, this was for show.

Before the massage, Tik changed into pyjama pants, to make it easier for the masseuse to get at her legs and feet. She looked cute in her PJs, I thought.

The atmosphere in the shop was relaxing. The air was filled with the smell of peppermint, and soft piano music played from speakers attached to the ceiling.

Tik fell asleep. I almost did myself.

When it came time to go, Tik paid, using her own money. That made me happy. I could hardly say no, if she had asked me to pay instead. But I would have felt exploited, so I am pleased she didn't.

Next time she pays a visit, the staff are bound to ask her about the farang who accompanied her.

A Thai woman who noticed me travelling with Tik to the mall has already asked me about the trip.

The other night, I visited the eatery opposite my place which prepares food for us every night.

The owner, a mother in her 50s, rarely sees me with women. She saw me with Tik earlier that day, as we waited for a Suzuki to the mall. Judging by her reaction, she appears to think I was going out with a prostitute.

I call her Jay. She lives in a household of men.

'You went with a prostitute...so you were having fun!  ('thieo phu ying...mi kwamsuk' - เที่ยวผู้หญิง...มีความสุข).

I smiled, and nodded. I did not know what to say.

Jay knows I live with a man. Maybe she thought I was taking a break from boyfriend Maiyuu, to see a real woman instead.

So much for Tik's attempts to burnish her image on this farang's sleeve. In Jay's eyes, at least, she was a woman who sells herself to men.

In Thailand, the status of men who see women on the side does not appear to suffer, at least among those women who are used to it.

The farang also gains from playing the courtship game. In the eyes of those who saw me with a pretty young woman, my status improved, too.