Shopping bore

'You can't hear anything when we go out shopping, even when I am standing right next to you, talking. You get irritable, which makes me stressed.'

That is Maiyuu's explanation of why we do not go shopping together any more - unlike in the old days, when I first arrived in Bangkok, when Maiyuu would take me to department stores every weekend.

I had wondered why we never do anything any more, other than occasional sorties to the shopping mall five minutes from our home. Now I know.

I remember those days. I was new in Bangkok. In the heat, as I trudged along behind my boyfriend, I didn't know how to cope, except complain. My legs ached, my clothes clung to my sweaty body. It was not a good feel, or a good look.

All around me were Thais who did not seem to feel the heat. They kept a perfect composure, despite the fetid environment: their clothes looked unrumpled, their lustrous hair was unmatted.

Their young faces shone with the radiance of youth, not with the sweat on their brow, as we pushed and jostled about, on a humid, uncomfortable Bangkok day.

If we were going to Mahboonkrong shopping centre near Siam Square, Maiyuu would take me on a bus. We would get off the bus, then board a boat across the Chao Phraya river.

After that, we'd hop on another bus.

Getting there would take an hour. And that's even before the endless slog through the Mahboonkrong shopping centre, or other department stores in the area, even began - in search of trendy clothes shops, boutique earring outlets (he liked those - don't ask me why), stalls selling cheap but reliable movie and music CDs...

My boyfriend, raised in the provinces, was himself new to Bangkok when we met. Yet he appeared to know everything. I cannot recall one occasion - even one - when he would guide me on to the wrong bus, board a boat which went somewhere else, or even take me on to the wrong skytrain platform. He knew exactly where to go, yet he had been in this big city just six months before me.

Some Thais from the provinces accomplish far less. One foreigner friend tells me how he took a girl from the provinces to a Macro department store in Bangkok - only to have the girl freeze, too scared to venture any further.

An outing with Maiyuu to Mahboonkrong department store would take a whole day. I would spend half the next day recovering.

I don't want to go back to that phase in our relationship: it was too draining. That's why I am happy for Maiyuu to assume sole responsibility for shopping in town.

When I need new work shoes, as I do now, I ask Maiyuu to buy them. He goes to Silom or our old stamping ground, Siam Square, for a look.

He goes alone, as he is no longer willing to tolerate my constant complaints about the heat, sore feet, and so on.

Normally he comes back with a new pair of shoes, or new clothes if I need them, within a couple of days of my asking. Now he's getting slack.

More than six weeks ago, I told Maiyuu that the soles of my work shoes were getting thin, and I would like some new ones. He claims he went to Siam for a look, and ordered a pair. However, the shop had no shoes in farang size in stock. I would have to wait.

Well, it's now been weeks, and still no action. I threatened - oops, offered - to go shopping myself.

'My shoes hurt. Next week, I will go to Siam myself to look for a pair of shoes, as your shop takes too long. Please withdraw the money for me,' I told Maiyuu yesterday.

I knew that would get him going. Maiyuu likes to keep control of the finances, as he reckons I am no good with money. Left to my own devices, I would buy poor-quality shoes which are too expensive.

'I will take another look for you myself,' he said.

That's better. I had no intention of going back to Siam - I haven't visited the place in years. That's a place for the young. Let the Thai boyfriend do it, if he is so determined to hang on to my money.

Siam Square is a place of love, according to the director of the gay movie set there, Love of Siam. In that case, let Maiyuu show his love by going in search of a new pair of shoes for his fussy, hard-of-hearing farang boyfriend.