Money-box troubles tucked away

Our little household is happy again. Boyfriend Maiyuu and I have put our troubles over the money box behind us. As the saying goes, we are ‘moving on’.

I have not seen the little savings box again, but I no longer care. I shall carry on saving, but do it myself.

We were saving for unexpected bills, and to pay for Maiyuu’s dental treatment, which I want him to start at the end of the year.

However, Maiyuu was worried that I would dip into the box and use the money for other things. If I was a poor saver and lavish spender, we would have nothing left for his teeth.

Rather than put the savings box in peril by leaving it in my room, he has now taken it away, and hidden it somewhere else.

I have not asked where it now rests. He can have it.

Maiyuu’s opportunities for squandering our money are limited, as he spends most of his days at home. He rarely goes out, even when I am work.

The boyfriend knows that if he spends money on other people then we end up with less money to spend on ourselves.

Fellow blogger Natalie, from the My Jungle Life blog, left the following response to yesterday’s post:

Hi Bkk dreamer, its always so hard the money thing. My husband's sister works for us, I support her and her two daughters and pay her a moderate salary. She has no living costs, I take care of everything and really she has more disposable income than I do yet she continues to ask me for a laptop for her daughter.

I've just paid for the daughter's surgery, and this month her mother has had 5,000 baht as a gift, plus her salary, and about 4,000 baht of tips.

With no living costs she could easily have saved up for a laptop over the last six weeks alone if she really put her mind to it but her choice is to fritter her money day to day, and then ask me who she perceives as loaded, for a computer. Which isn't a critical item for a teenager AT ALL.

I save my money, budget carefully, spend nothing on myself, and end up paying all the emergencies as I'm the only person who saves. Then on top I get asked for luxury items like laptops. I find it really frustrating and a little disheartening.-

My response:

Next time someone needs a limb stitched back on, I am sure they will come to you first, just as they have in the past.

You have less disposable income than they do. But you do have money set aside for events such as these because you are prudent, and plan.

I have found that with many Thais, a simple ‘No’ works. If we can’t do it, then we just can’t do it.

Most Thais I know are reluctant to impose. They look out for me, because they know that as an 'innocent' farang, I could be parted from my money by ruthless Thais.

However, families are different.

If you didn't make allowance for such eventualities yourself, and instead turned up on *their* doorstop wanting help, the Thais would do what they could, I am sure.

They probably take the view that as family, you are all in this together, no matter who does the saving or has the money.

However, that approach to life won't suit many Westerners.

We don't do things as a village or a commune, but as a family unit.

That doesn't make it any easier to say 'no', of course. So you could say yes - but with conditions attached.

If the girl wants a laptop, she should work for it.

If there’s no work for her to do, or if there’s no money to pay her, then she will have to wait.

We would apply the same rules to our own children, so why not theirs.