First taste of fatherhood

Ball is now the father of a beautiful daughter, weighing 3.3kg.

His little girl was born early on May 27 at a small private hospital just outside Silom.

Girlfriend Jay woke Ball about 2am to say she had started bleeding. Ball took her to hospital on his motorbike.

He called his mother a few hours later to say that the doctor had admitted Jay and that she was expected to give birth within hours.

By 11am, it was over. Labour took a little more than two hours. Jay spent the next two days in hospital recovering.

Ball’s mother had prepared virtually nothing. I gave her some money and she went to the market to buy baby clothes and supplies. A couple of days later, her elder sister turned up with more clothes, baskets, basins and towels.

The baby was kept in a small room along with half a dozen other newborns. At first, only the mother and the nurses were allowed to hold her, to protect the child from germs.

Ball saw the child on the day of her birth. On the second day, Ball, Mum and I visited Jay in hospital. We crowded around the glass pane in the door for a glimpse at his little girl.

When I saw the tiny bundle for the first time, I held Ball around the chest and kissed his head. 'You are so clever!' I said.

The first day after the birth, visitors were not allowed to touch the child.

On the second day, the doctor cleared Jay to go home. When we picked up the baby from the dispensary, Ball was able to hold his daughter in his arms for the first time.

He was a happy, beaming Dad. I felt excited for him.

On the way down in the lift, a nurse noticed Ball handling his baby awkwardly, and gave him some advice on how to hold a newborn.

But where Ball might lack experience, his mother, and her elder sister - who held the child for hours on her first visit - showed no such hesitation.

At home, Ball's Mum dressed the child quickly, and with ease. A day later, she washed her, and changed her clothes.

The baby, who has yet to be named, sleeps by day and wakes at night.

‘She likes to be indulged. Whenever she is hungry, or has soiled or wet herself, she will cry immediately,’ said Ball.

The baby’s odd sleeping patterns are playing havoc with her parents’ routines. I can pay a visit in early afternoon, only to find that Ball and Jay are still out to the world, catching up on the sleep they missed the night before.

I spend many hours gazing at the child, who looks much more like Jay than she does Ball, but has a small library of facial expressions, and appears to smile even when she sleeps.

At first I had to fight back tears. ‘I cry because she’s beautiful, and for lost opportunities,’ I told Ball. ‘I never had children, but when I see your beautiful daughter, I wish I had.’

A few days after Jay's return home, Ball, Mum and I visited the local hypermarket. I bought the parents a portable air con machine for their bedroom upstairs, which can serve as their private retreat when they want to escape the bedlam of their large family below.

Ball is understandably proud of his daughter, and gives her many cheek kisses. By now he was no longer hesitant when he picks her up, but holds her like a seasoned hand.

If she cries, he quickly attends to her needs. He doesn’t leave Jay to do all the dirty work, but pitches in himself.

‘Few of my friends have visited to see her, which is upsetting. But I can tell that my mother and aunt love my daughter very much,’ he said, consoling himself.