No ice-cream guilt

Boyfriend Maiyuu is going cold on the idea that he makes bakery products for the little eatery I found in Thon Buri.

He has yet to speak to the owner, but when I told him that he proposed buying Maiyuu's bakery products on a fahk kai basis, he poo-pooed it. 'We're the ones who shoulder all the risk - if he can't sell anything, he has the right to return it. He doesn't have to pay,' he said.

In that case, I asked him how he felt about selling bakery, perhaps to some other place, by the conventional method - kai song.

Maiyuu says that too has its problems, as we would have to keep our price low enough for the person selling it to add a big enough margin for himself.

I told Maiyuu I would still like to take him to the shop next week to meet the owner...so we shall see what happens.

In the meantime, we have bought ourselves a small bar-b-que stove and a blender, and today Maiyuu returns to the shopping mall to buy some other cooking device.

In more gays-at-the-supermarket news, at the mall yesterday we visited two stalls selling boutique ice-cream, and spent B1000 in five minutes.

Can many families afford to blow so much on ice-cream in one go? I doubt it. Three cheers for the pink baht!

Cooking up a storm

Maiyuu still has a few friends after all.

We don't often get visits from Maiyuuu's friends these days, but a moment ago I met one of them.

The girl, a tenant in this condo, is aged in her early 20s, and has a toddler. I don't know how they met.

Maiyuu bumped into the girl when he went out to buy ingredients for his latest cooking creation. He brought her back, so he could give her some of his baking.

'My boyfriend can't keep up with everything I make - food is going to waste,' he said, pointing at me.

I was sitting at the computer in the next room.

The kitchen table is groaning with puff pastry sausage rolls, ingredients for a clear vegetable and mince soup, a fig cake, and strawberry jam.

'Are you making food just for fun?' she asked, sounding surprised.

'I am testing my skills to see what I can do,' said Maiyuu, laughing.

He gave her a plate of baking goodies. The girl thanked 'Pee' Maiyuu, and left.

'The owner of the eatery close to Mum's shop is keen to buy your bakery,' I told him.

'Wirut wants me to take you to his shop, so you can meet and talk business,' I said.

'Really?' asked Maiyuu, looking marginally, but not over-excited.

'Let me have a think first about what I should make for him.'

Girly bakery prospects

I took along a sample of Maiyuu's baking last night to the owner of a new eatery I have found close to Mum's shop.

He did not taste it himself, but asked if he could give it to his girlfriend to try.

He is keen to buy Maiyuu's bakery, but needs to make small extensions to the front of his shop first. He targets the lunchtime office-worker trade.

Wut, the owner, runs the eatery with a joint shareholder. They lease the place from Kor, a local property-owner who I have known since the days when we both drank at Mum's shop.

We spent the night chatting, mainly about his business, and the different ways of selling bakery, including fahk kai.

I do not have a business brain, and am still finding this concept hard to understand.

By the sounds of it, Maiyuu would bake every day, but if Wut could not sell it all, he would have the right to return the rest, or at least not pay for those he was unable to sell.

However, if a customer came along and wanted to place a bulk order herself, Wut would pass the order on to Maiyuu, who could get the extra business without Wut adding a margin.

That's all I can remember at the moment. The eatery was quiet last night, but Wut says it was his first day back in business since he closed for four days over New Year.

I went with my friend from work, farang C. We ordered several dishes from the menu, including sweet and sour fish, which farang C was as good as any he had tasted overseas.

Wut hires two chefs, who work in a poky kitchen making Thai and farang dishes which cost just 35 baht each.

As for Mum's forlorn shop at the head of the soi, no one drinks there any more, it seems.

When I walked past the place furtively yesterday, heading for Wut's eatery just inside the same street, it was empty.

Wut's place closed at 10pm. As we passed Mum's shop on our way home, it was again empty.

She does, however, get custom from motorcyclists.

Customers on motorcycles stop by at the rear of the shop, and order cigarettes. She passes the cigarettes to them, and they race off.

Thais like the convenience of being able to pull up on a bike, do their transaction, then tear away again.

One motorcyclist stopped in the middle of the road to ask for directions while we were sitting at Wut's shop.

Wut's eatery has been open just five months, but he is finding it hard to spread the word, as there is no local business association in the area.

'No one wants to take part in local product fares or promotions, because it's dog-eat-dog,' he said.

'Thais like buying to go...they cannot be bothered finding a place to park, or sitting in restaurants if they can just order off the street,' said Wirut.

Office workers are often on foot, which is good for Wut's business. They do not need to hop on the motorbike, or find a place to park.

Wut wants several different baking items a day, in various packaging and sizes, for those who eat at a table, and those who want to take away.

We have just bought an oven. I am not sure how many items Maiyuu can produce a day, and I told Wut that Maiyuu has not catered professionally nor sold his bakery to anyone before.

Still, they can always talk. When the changes to his shop are complete, probably some time this month, Wut says he will give Maiyuu a call.

Ploy Cherman: Let's get affected

Ploy

Actress Ploy Cherman says she can "relationship" with anyone.

Eh?

In an interview with TV host "Woody" Wootithorn Milintajinda, Ploy drops so many English words into her Thai that she ends up sounding affected and strange, says one viewer, who wrote about her concerns at the Pantip webboard.

Ploy is seeing Golf, of singer Golf and Mike fame. However, she is still fond of former boyfriend 'Dome' Pakorn Lum.

That's the background, dear reader - I am "contexting" you.

The Pantip poster is dismayed at the trend among Thai entertainers and the like to percolate their Thai with English, so they sound more educated.

For those who do have English, the need to impress the world feels less urgent, because they have "arrived".

The Pantip poster says she has noticed that look kreung (half breeds) who return to these shores rarely drop English into their Thai, perhaps because they are struggling so hard to remember all the Thai they forget (or never learned) while they were overseas.

But as for many all-Thai dara (stars) - they just can't help themselves. They are so busy dropping in English words to sound clever they forget that 1. Viewers may feel put off, and 2. Some might actually know more English than they do.

The Pantip poster says she can understand why English words might appear sometimes, as Thai language may be too slow to coin new words.

In other cases, the English equivalent of a Thai word which does exist might be more succinct. Confirm?

But - let's face it - most of the fancy set drop English words so they can sound more 'inter'.

I can't stand listening to Thais who lace their Thai with heavy doses of English. It's upsetting and jarring.

Woody

If a dara wants to speak English that much, then let's have it.

The person conducting the interview should abruptly switch to English (if he has any - and Woody does). Then we would get to see whether they are really as smart as they would have us believe.

Oops...what was that? - fang mai get [I don't understand]?

For those who love puncturing bubbles of pomposity, it's fun to catch out a celebrity using English affectedly, when she obviously has no idea what she's talking about.

Anyone who has English knows that we don't use the word "relationship" in such a blunt fashion. We decorate it with frilly words such as "have" and "a" beforehand. That's because it's a noun, not a verb.

"พลอยก็ Relationship กับทุกคน (Ploy gor relationship kab took khon - I can relationship with anyone)."

Dear me. It's back to the English primers for you, missy.

Confused, Ploy? Please feel free to drop me a line. Then I can "communicate" you what I mean.

Socially dysfunctional cook

We are being pleasant to one other, so peace to our household has returned.

Maiyuu and I can withdraw affection and pretend to be uninterested in each other for only so long. Being awkward is much harder than being pleasant, so why not just be nice?

The other day I came down with 24-hour flu. The boyfriend was staying with a friend, so I didn't see him much.

I sent him two text messages saying I felt sick. He responded to both messages, but talked about other things, not the fact that I had flu.

Maiyuu is a hardy type from the provinces, who wonders why anyone would make a fuss over something as trifling as 24-hour flu.

However, given the cold and aloof demeanour which I had showed towards him in the previous 48 hours, he was also in no hurry to offer sympathy.

So, the pendulum has swung back, and we are treating each other normally again, after a silly row days before over money.

He spent the day baking: a custard slice, and a cake with lemon and figs. He also made a trip to Silom to buy groceries, and at home, made a wall decoration from an old calendar.

He also made rice soup with chicken for me last night, after we failed to phone through an order to the food place in the market in time.

As boyfriends go, he's not doing too badly. He might be dysfunctional, depressed, and socially reclusive, but at least he can cook!

Postscript: I will take a few of Maiyuu's baking treats to the new restaurant/bar I have discovered close to Mum's shop, whose owner Wirut I met last week.

If Wirut likes them, he might be interested in buying Maiyuu's baking, for sale in his shop.

Maiyuu has packed a couple of custard slices as a test sample. I might take along some of his chocolate truffles as well.