Thai blogging life: Invitation to the Shrink

Here's an invitation to the Shrink, a regular critic of this blog's author.

I like the way the Shrink writes - he has a fluent, convincing and easy-to-read style which would not look out of place on this blog.

Are you interested in leaving accounts of your life in the Land of Smiles?

Maybe we can compare.

Ennui is a friend of mine

No reaction from The Shrink to yesterday's post. Has he worn himself out with all that couch talk?

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The boyfriend went out last night. He is cunning, so that when he wants to go out, he is always out the door before I get home from work.

That way, I can't stop him. He sends an SMS telling me he's going out. He also makes sure he cooks a meal for me before he leaves. Last night, he left for me chicken pasta, wrapped inside a crepe envelope.

Only a curmudgeon would object. I sent Maiyuu a thank you message as I usually do, and wished him a happy night out.

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The money for the pushbike and sofa which Maiyuu wants - okay, which we both want - is likely to arrive tomorrow. After rising from his slumber, Maiyuu's first words the other day were:

'When will I be able to buy a bike?'

No 'Good morning', or 'How did you sleep?' Such polite fussiness belongs in the West.

Lately, Maiyuu has looked bored and unhappy. Now that we have settled in to our new condo, there's nothing to do.

Maybe people are only happy as long as they are striving for something. When it finally arrives (a nice place to live, in this case), the novelty quickly fades. We start looking for something else to worry about.

We want to buy a bike, so he can scoot off to the supermarket to buy groceries when he needs them. Martha Stewart's cooking show gives him ideas for cooking, which he usually likes to act on straight away, while the inspiration is still with him.

We want a sofa so we have somewhere to sit while watching TV. At the moment, we lie on awful fold-out soft mattresses, which in the old place served as Maiyuu's bed.

We sleep together on those mattresses occasionally, as the afternoon ebbs into evening, and we feel in need of rest.

Once we have those things, Maiyuu assures me, the condo will be finished.

We won't have to spend anything more on doing it up, or equipping it for our needs.

Yet I do not kid myself that a smart pushbike will make Maiyuu happier.

It will give us perhaps a week's worth of excitement - the novelty of riding on a bike, which I have not done for years, and Maiyuu, perhaps not at all.

After that, we will go back to feeling the way we do now - bored, flat, as if life is just drifting along. No challenges, no excitement. It's almost as if we need something to go wrong to recover some passion in our lives.

Computer trials, The Shrink pays a visit

A computer repair man came yesterday. My computer is less than 12 months old, but is already playing up. I suspect the problem originates with the CD player. I hear a strange clicking sound, then shortly after, the computer shuts itself down.

Maiyuu called a computer repair man who makes house calls. He charges a flat price of B1500 and fixes the thing at your place.

Previously, we have carted the hard drive to a computer repair shop at Pantip Plaza. This time we called someone to fix it at our condo, as it takes less time, is less bother, and most importantly perhaps, ensures we can keep an eye on the repair man.

He spent two hours while I was at work last night inspecting the machine, looking for faults, but could find none.

'If the fan stops working, it can shut down the computer,' he suggested.

A Thai computer repairer's first recourse in times of doubt - or whenever anything, in fact, goes wrong - is to download a new version of Windows.

Usually the repairers are young guys who have no particular training in how the inside of a computer works. But someone has told them that rebooting and downloading a new version of Windows is a Good Thing which will clear up most problems.

They make a copy of your files first, of course, and usually ask if they can wipe your hard-drive clean which is what happens if they install a new copy of Windows as a catch-all for all those hard-to-find bugs.

My problem with this approach is that their solution does not always work - and if they could just be bothered looking properly under the hood in all the usual trouble spots, they might find the cause.

Luckily, the boyfriend was on hand to rein him in. 'He asked if he could download a new version of Windows,' he told me.

'He had an illegal copy of Windows XP. We have a real version of Windows Vista. I said if he downloads his bogus version of XP, we end up with illegally copied software, in place of our genuine stuff.

'Apart from that, downloading a new version of Windows may not be the right fix,' Maiyuu said.

Well done, Maiyuu. I have been using the computer for an hour today, and can report no mishaps.

The repair man says fan problems are common in Hewlett-Packard computers such as mine.

He tells me that if the problem recurs, I should turn off the computer, give the fan another chance to start drawing air, and start again.

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A lengthy discussion in the comments section of the post, 'Thai condo life: Let's take a look inside', appears to be winding down.

Among the contributors were Kimoochii21, Mr Anonymous aka The Shrink, and fellow Bangkok blogger BB.

Point of interest? A discussion about the higher barriers to entry which foreigners must cross if they want to get close to Thais, compared to those who are happy to spend their time in Pattaya bars.

Who is the Shrink? That's the first time I have coined a name for him. He's the reader who has put forward a theory on this blog previously that I adopt a defence mechanism to avoid intimacy, which is why I have ended up with a boyfriend as distant as Mr Maiyuu.

In the discussion, The Shrink tells BB that he is probably adopting the same tactic.

The Shrink has not met either of us in real life, of course, but on the other hand, where else can you get such penetrating psychological insights for free? Here's a taste, from this comment he left for BB:

'It may be that you are selecting unconsciously for people who won't connect with you or will do so the wrong way. It is a defence mechanism often used to avoid intimacy, frequently employed by those who come from dysfunctional families.

'In some cases, it is used to avoid all connections whatsoever (which seems to be happening in your case) and in others it is used to avoid real, nurturing relationships even though a 'relationship' or something with some of its characteristics seems to be happening (that is what I would surmise about BKKdreamer's relationship choices).'

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Does the Adsense bot crawl the content of comments, as well as the posts themselves?

Instead of giving me condo ads for the post on my Bangkok condo, Adsense was serving up rubbish about content filters, self-defence, car seats, and safety harnesses when I checked a moment ago.

Readers in different parts of the world might get different ads, but here in Bangkok, they look lame. Has the poor little bot read all that psycho-babble at the bottom of the post and taken fright?

Bicycle action man, flash argument

You can't do anything yourself,' the boyfriend complained, after I knocked on his bedroom door to tell him the internet was not working.

The broadband internet box is in my room. Maiyuu has his own computer, as do I.

While we share the same line, I am usually the first to know if the net is working, as the box with the flashing lights tells me whether we have a signal. This morning, the light where it says 'internet' refused to light up.

'That's not why I knocked. It was to tell you that if you want to use the net, you might have to wait,' I protested.

'No, it's not...I know the real intention. It was to drag me out to get the net working again. I am exhausted with handling all the problems in this household as it is,' said Maiyuu.

I shouted at him until he shut up. Miffed that I raised my voice, he stormed back to his room, shut and locked the door.

I went to my room, and sent him a text message. If the net was working, I could have contacted him on Messenger instead.

'Before I went overseas, I had lost confidence in my ability to manage things and look after myself, it is true.

'However, while I was away, I realised I could do it, as there was no Maiyuu over there to help. Don't flatter yourself - I don't need you that much,' I wrote.

Maiyuu's reply was just as unkind.

'If you can do it yourself, then go ahead, boss.'

Arguments at our place can flare up from nothing, like that one. However, they can end just as quickly.

Moments later, Maiyuu left for the supermarket. He made steak, roti bread, and potato pie for lunch. He knew we had forgiven each other, but just to make sure, I gave him a hug.

'We know you're good at everything, but sometimes I do like to do things for myself,' I told him.

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We are thinking of buying a bicycle, for Maiyuu's daily journeys to the supermarket to get groceries, mainly food.

The other day, I walked with him to the nearest Tops supermarket, about 1km away on a narrow street with a poor footpath. It was his second trip that day, which he normally takes by foot.

'A bicycle would make it easier, as I could put the things in a bag and sling them over the handlebar,' he said.

Maiyuu thinks we could also put it to another use. 'I could pick you up at the mouth of our street when you come home from work.'

I have not seen a Thai guy giving a farang a ride on the back of his bicycle, though it probably could be done. It would make for an unusual and romantic sight.

For the time being, we might keep it simple, and buy it for grocery runs instead.

Lugging laundry

The boyfriend went out last night, and is still not back. In his absence, the laundry people called.

The laundry people run their business from the slummy side of the condo. I crossed over to that side to talk to them yesterday.

'The guy I live with has 80 pieces of clothes for you to wash. He has put them in a packing box. Please send a car to collect them,' I said matter-of-factly. It is a transaction, after all.

A haggard looking woman in her 50s knocked on the door shortly after 8. She was too small to take down the box herself, even if she was to drag it.

I hurriedly put on some clothes, and together we dragged the box into the lift and outside to the entrance, where we waited for her boss to turn up with a car.

Two tenants were waiting at the same spot for taxis to take them to work.

One was a woman wearing a skimpy cotton shirt and skirt, with two teenage girls in school uniform.

'I just want to know ... is there anything wrong?' she asked her daughter, who looked at her resentfully.

What a way to start the day...an argument with an angry teen.

Another woman, who was waiting alone, had poured herself into a tight pair of lycra-style pants. Her backside was already large enough, without those bubble-butt pants enhancing it.

'Pity your colleagues - they will have to look at you in that ghastly outfit all day,' I thought.

After a 10-minute wait, the laundry boss finally turned up in her car.

I had not met her before. A woman in her 30s, she had a child in the back. I suspect she was on the school run (oops - I said it!).

I heaved Maiyuu's box of washing into the back of her car.

'When-you-like-back?' she asked.

'Any time,' I said.

No need to hurry on Maiyuu's behalf. He has allowed his washing to build up for weeks, which I regard as slothful and negligent.

If he runs out of clothes to wear while the washing is away, then bad luck.