'Can I have some of your drink?' a friend asked me. I was drinking whisky, from a bottle I had just bought.
Of course I said yes...'friends' have no choice but to agree. But once he started, law student Kong couldn't stop. Each time he asked, and each time I would agree.
He could tell I was unhappy, but pressed on regardless. One drink, two, no one would mind...but when it goes on all night, as it did that night, such behaviour becomes annoying. Not even pirates would dare steal that much of each other's drink. Can't you buy your own?
When Kong was not helping himself to my drink, he glowered at me. He could tell I was irritated, but rather than just let it go, tried to force the issue into the open. Not only was he drunk (on my whisky), but he was becoming aggressive, too.
'Why don't you tell me what's wrong?' he slurred. He had been drinking several hours before I arrived at Mum's shop.
I was talking to farang J, and tried my best to ignore Kong. By the end of the night, most of the bottle was gone, thanks largely to his efforts. Later, Mum told me has an unpaid bill at the shop going back weeks.
I comforted myself with the thought that when he woke in the morning, he would have an aching head. I fancied he might even apologise when he saw me next.
As it happens, I met him again the next night. He did indeed feel bad when he woke that morning, but as for the apology, I saw no signs of remorse. In fact, he declared he wanted to drink my whisky for a second night running.
'I have been drinking since early afternoon...could I drink your whisky again tonight?' he asked hopefully.
I worked all afternoon, then spent another 90 minutes teaching English to Mum's son at her shop. While he was busy getting drunk, I was doing useful, productive things.
I did not feel like sharing anything with him, so ignored his request. In the event, he managed to find a left-over bottle from somewhere, so did not have to prevail on me.
He ended up drunk again, of course, but this was one occasion where I could sit back and watch while he made a fool of himself.
Mum was talking about when she first met her husband 19 years ago, and came to Bangkok from the provinces. She said her younger sister, Isra, used to turn up for visits.
'She had frizzy hair back then, and was as thin as a rake,' said Mum.
'Why didn't your husband try to pick her up instead?' he asked tactfully.
'She was just 13!' Mum exclaimed.
'But she is no match for your beauty,' he said, in a transparent and clumsy attempt to climb down from his blunder.
Earlier, farang J had given Mum B300, to defray the cost of hiring a guy to take Isra and her rabbit back to Kalasin, when farang J returns home to Britain in about a week. To go by bus costs B600, but a guy they know, who travels regularly between Bangkok and Kalasin in his pick-up truck, can take her back for B500.
Farang J knows a bargain when he sees one, so offered to split the fare with Mum, who wants to send an old washing machine back at the same time.
'Who would pay B500 to take a washing machine in a truck all the way to Britain?' asked Kong, demonstrating a hidden talent for geography.
'Not Britain - Kalasin!' exclaimed Mum.
'I am making a fool of myself,' he said, volunteering the obvious.
'The more you speak, the worse it becomes,' I said helpfully.
I was starting to warm to Kong again now, who was refreshingly open about the fact that he was embarrassing himself with his every utterance.
'Last night you helped yourself to the farang's bottle all night,' Mum said, referring to me.
'He didn't say anything,' Kong said.
'I don't need to say a thing - I have my own spokesman to look after my interests,' I said, referring to Mum.
Like a boxer who knows he has gone one round too many, Kong decided he had drank enough, and staggered home.
Of course I said yes...'friends' have no choice but to agree. But once he started, law student Kong couldn't stop. Each time he asked, and each time I would agree.
He could tell I was unhappy, but pressed on regardless. One drink, two, no one would mind...but when it goes on all night, as it did that night, such behaviour becomes annoying. Not even pirates would dare steal that much of each other's drink. Can't you buy your own?
When Kong was not helping himself to my drink, he glowered at me. He could tell I was irritated, but rather than just let it go, tried to force the issue into the open. Not only was he drunk (on my whisky), but he was becoming aggressive, too.
'Why don't you tell me what's wrong?' he slurred. He had been drinking several hours before I arrived at Mum's shop.
I was talking to farang J, and tried my best to ignore Kong. By the end of the night, most of the bottle was gone, thanks largely to his efforts. Later, Mum told me has an unpaid bill at the shop going back weeks.
I comforted myself with the thought that when he woke in the morning, he would have an aching head. I fancied he might even apologise when he saw me next.
As it happens, I met him again the next night. He did indeed feel bad when he woke that morning, but as for the apology, I saw no signs of remorse. In fact, he declared he wanted to drink my whisky for a second night running.
'I have been drinking since early afternoon...could I drink your whisky again tonight?' he asked hopefully.
I worked all afternoon, then spent another 90 minutes teaching English to Mum's son at her shop. While he was busy getting drunk, I was doing useful, productive things.
I did not feel like sharing anything with him, so ignored his request. In the event, he managed to find a left-over bottle from somewhere, so did not have to prevail on me.
He ended up drunk again, of course, but this was one occasion where I could sit back and watch while he made a fool of himself.
Mum was talking about when she first met her husband 19 years ago, and came to Bangkok from the provinces. She said her younger sister, Isra, used to turn up for visits.
'She had frizzy hair back then, and was as thin as a rake,' said Mum.
'Why didn't your husband try to pick her up instead?' he asked tactfully.
'She was just 13!' Mum exclaimed.
'But she is no match for your beauty,' he said, in a transparent and clumsy attempt to climb down from his blunder.
Earlier, farang J had given Mum B300, to defray the cost of hiring a guy to take Isra and her rabbit back to Kalasin, when farang J returns home to Britain in about a week. To go by bus costs B600, but a guy they know, who travels regularly between Bangkok and Kalasin in his pick-up truck, can take her back for B500.
Farang J knows a bargain when he sees one, so offered to split the fare with Mum, who wants to send an old washing machine back at the same time.
'Who would pay B500 to take a washing machine in a truck all the way to Britain?' asked Kong, demonstrating a hidden talent for geography.
'Not Britain - Kalasin!' exclaimed Mum.
'I am making a fool of myself,' he said, volunteering the obvious.
'The more you speak, the worse it becomes,' I said helpfully.
I was starting to warm to Kong again now, who was refreshingly open about the fact that he was embarrassing himself with his every utterance.
'Last night you helped yourself to the farang's bottle all night,' Mum said, referring to me.
'He didn't say anything,' Kong said.
'I don't need to say a thing - I have my own spokesman to look after my interests,' I said, referring to Mum.
Like a boxer who knows he has gone one round too many, Kong decided he had drank enough, and staggered home.
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