The little wife

Nong dresses and behaves like a real man, because I suspect he is one. He is just unloved. No surprise, then, if he should ask me to be his wife.

When I met him I had already put in a solid night's drinking. When I am getting drunk I tend to go quiet, which was a good thing, as Nong is boisterous and lively, and rarely shuts his mouth.

Mum's husband runs the place in the daytime. He knows respectable middle-aged Thai men, who drop in to see him for a coffee. They turned up again that day, but Nong, unfortunately, would not leave them alone.

He suspected they did not like his brash manner, so looked for every opportunity he could to impress himself upon them with offers of free drinks - or just to make himself annoying by interrupting their conversation.

Nong turned up alone. His face looked familiar, and I suspect we have met before. His story was also familiar - he told the first few Thais he met at Mum's he planned to study in Australia.

It sounds like a dream, rather than a solid plan, as he has yet to buy an air ticket or apply for a visa.

Something about his behaviour must have alerted me to the fact that he wanted someone to fuss over him.

'Do you want a wife?' I asked.

'Yes.'

That's all we had to say. Immediately, I slipped into the role of the caring wife to my new husband. When he ate, I wiped his mouth. When he cried, as he did at one point, I wiped his tears. I called him ter, cute lovers' talk for the personal pronoun 'you' in Thai, and he called me the same.

Three or four times, we needed to find a place to relieve ourselves. At night, we use a nearby fence, but this being daylight, we had to find somewhere else. First, we accompanied each other to a nearby alleyway. Then we used a toilet at the karaoke restaurant next to Mum's shop.

Walking there and back, we held each other by the hand. If Nong saw young women approaching, he freed his grip from mine. Otherwise, he kept his hand in place.

I watched him as he urinated in the alleyway, and he watched me.

He showed me his underpants - they were torn down one side. Such a real man! I shall have to do something about his dress. That's what wives do, after all.

When he finished urinating, I was still going. When I turned around, I noticed he was in crouching position, watching.

Back at the shop, Nong asked me to fetch the drinks, and refill the ice bucket. He put his cellphone in my shirt pocket, so I could keep it for him. He placed it there, because he wanted me as his wife to look after it for him.

Back at Mum's shop, I rubbed his back, and felt under his arms to make sure he was not getting too hot. I don't know what I would have done if his shirt had been wet under there - he could hardly take it off. I straightened his shirt for him, and pulled up his shorts.

When I pulled up his shorts, he even raised his arms in the air, like a child.

We were in a public place, or I could have cared for him more. I did not like having to share the space with those respectable, middle-age types. Sometimes couples need time to be alone.

Couples? I must be going mad. We have only just met, and here I am entertaining wild hopes of a lasting relationship.

On our way back from one of our trips to the toilet, Nong planted a large kiss on my cheek. That was a reward for all the effort I put into caring for him - though I would love to have doted on him more.

Boyfriend Maiyuu does not like me caring for him like that, and in truth I doubt either of us would want it. We are in a permanent relationship, after all. The first-love romance faded years ago, as it must in all relationships.

The same thing would happen if Nong and I were together, but because it will never happen, I do not need to worry about it. We can pretend to be lovers instead.

I took him home in a taxi. Nong kissed me on the cheek twice before we parted, and I hugged him.

Nong called me twice the next day, after I sent him text messages. That's unusual, for my Thai friends.

They rarely bother to return calls, but then perhaps Nong is lonely.

'Do you love me?' he asked.

'Yes,' I said.

'When you go out, we should go out together - but where?' he asked.

'At Mum's shop.'

I cannot take Nong many places else, because when he gets drunk, he forgets to be discreet. He tries to force people to like him. Unlike this stranger, however, most people he meets over a drink have the good sense just to brush him off.