Painfully ambitious

Gay people have choices, just like anyone else. So when they are young with their whole lives in front of them, why do they put up with this?

A 26 year-old man has left a sad story at the Pantip webboard about his five-month old relationship with a gay guy, aged 22. His boyfriend is an investment banker, who works long hours.

The pair talk together on the telephone an hour a day, but meet three times a week at the most.

The poster, who calls himself 'Understand', says his boyfriend complains that when they talk, he doesn't understand him, his need to work long days (up at 5am, back at 11pm), or mix in business circles.

Understand says his boyfriend has never taken him out to meet his friends, perhaps because he is not an investment banker, and can't talk about mergers, stock ratios and the like. Maybe he doesn't want his business contacts to know he's gay - though Understand says, some of them are gay themselves, so what's the problem?

'Maybe I'm just too low, too inferior...his friends are all good at what they do, handsome, and with good names. I'm too much the artist.' He believes his boyfriend still loves him, but sometimes wonders if he is not being taken for a ride.

Time, he says, will be the test. Posters who left responses say they feel sorry for Understand, but ask him to consider how his boyfriend must think.

As a mere 22 year-old, with his whole career in front of him, and no desire to settle down and have a family, he probably thinks life is full of opportunities just waiting to come along. If not this handsome guy, then maybe the next...

Meantime, however, Understand may be missing out on opportunities of his own. He, too, is young.

If his boyfriend's time is so precious, and his social contacts so exalted that he doesn't want to know Understand outside home, then maybe it's time to dump him in favour of someone less painfully ambitious.