Christmas from Hell (5, final)

I invited him to leave again, and he repeated the same threats he made the day before. Another day of drama ...I couldn't bear the thought. I left home, just to get outside for a while.

While I was away, I checked the ATM card which Maiyuu had given me. Maiyuu had told me a day before that we had about B500 left. The ATM machine, however, gave me a balance of just B15.

When I returned, Maiyuu was lying on his back with a pillow over his face, presumably to stop himself breathing. I ignored it. A sad song was playing on the stereo, one of several maudlin songs he likes to play when he feels miserable.

As he prepared to leave, I flipped through a photo album containing pictures we had taken five years before, on a trip to his family home in the provinces. As I took out the photographs, I told him what I could remember about them. Maiyuu lay on his bed listening.

An hour later, his passion for drama was spent. He asked me to sit by his bed. I sat. He held me to him, so tightly I found it hard to breathe.

'Do you want us both to run out of air?' I asked.

Maiyuu did not say sorry, but there was no need. I rubbed his head for him.

Maiyuu said he had been feeling unwell for several days, which made him irritable. A series of misunderstandings also contributed to our argument.

In the next few hours, we discovered that the phone went dead because workers outside the condo cut the line in error. It had nothing to do with Maiyuuu, who had paid the bill on time. My bank account was empty because the bank had chosen this moment to deduct more than B450 in annual card fees.

Maiyuu was still anxious to know whether I still wanted him....so I told him a story, to put his mind at rest.

'Sometimes when twins are born fused together, the doctor has to give them an operation so they can survive and live their lives apart. But even after they have been separated, they often feel as if something is missing. They are both part of each other, and no one can force them apart.'

Maiyuu cried. I did not, because I felt too exhausted.

In the next few days, Maiyuu turned himself into a functioning, contributing partner again. He visited the phone company to get our line fixed, and talked the bank about their deductions from my account.

We discussed our plans for the future, including doing up our place, and his long-term plans to open his own business, designing and making clothes.

'Outside I could also sell bakery, which I would make at night,' he said touchingly.

Two days after our argument, my Christmas bonus came out (like many Thai firms, my company gives staff an extra pay twice a year).

That help spread around Christmas cheer. As a belated birthday present, I bought Maiyuu a pair of shoes.

When we argue, Maiyuu and I like to take our relationship apart, as if stripping a vehicle of its parts, before seeing whether we can re-assemble it again. So far, we have managed to put it back together each time. One day, however, we might find an important piece has gone missing, and be unable to pull it together again.

'Sometimes life will taunt you and tease you. You don't have to fight it. Try laughing in its face,' I said.

Over the two days of our argument, I visited a hairdresser's in the market to get my hair cut. Maiyuu normally does it, but as I was throwing him out, I could hardly ask him to cut it before he left.

'Did you notice I had my hair cut?' I asked.

'Yes...I wondered where you did that. Let me see,' he said.

Maiyuu took a look. 'It's not even on the sides, and he's left a few hairs uncut on the top. I will fix it for you,' said Maiyuu.

I hope we can both take a lighter view of our problems, the next time they surface. Next Christmas, if we argue, we should try the humorous approach instead.