Young man's burden (3)

'It's because of her that I ended up doing this awful work in Pattaya,' he said miserably. 'I can work as a barboy for another 12 months at the most. Once I reach 25, I will be too old. The bars there prefer boys in their teens,' he said.

'Well, then, I suggest you make the most of it,' I said. 'Why feel ashamed? It's just a temporary job. Soon you will find something else.'

After initially denying it, Kew now admits that some of his customers are men. He is a dek off, which means that a customer can pay to take him out for a drink - or home for the night to his hotel.

I did not ask him whether he has gone to bed with any men. 'Some customers ask to sleep with me, but they have to pay extra for sex. I say they can sleep with me, but I must be fully clothed,' he said.

He claims he has bought himself a small self-protection device which he can use to apply an electric shock to people if they get too eager.

'It's common for bar boys to have such things,' he said.

Some female customers, he says, ask him to drink with them. They drop drugs into his drink when he is not watching, in the hope it will make him more amenable to leaving with them.

'Actually, if we refuse to go with a customer, we have to pay a fine,' claims Kew.

I am not sure how much of that was true, or whether Kew was making up sad stories. However, I did find shocking his casual remark that at work, he must wear make-up, including eye-liner and lip-stick.

His boss also likes him to wear ear studs, and to keep his hair long, as customers prefer their boys that way.

He is wearing it short, at present, but says he doesn't care. 'If the customers don't like it, too bad.'

He tells me that he also insists on wearing condoms, even though many customers don't like their boys to wear protection.

'Maybe I should invest in an insurance policy against Aids - that way my sister will be looked after,' he said, smiling.

I didn't see the joke.

The little shop where we were drinking closed before midnight. After that, we moved to a seedy karaoke joint about 100 metres away, as Kew wanted to sing out his heartbreak over music videos.

At one point, he left the karaoke shop to use a public phone box. He called home, to see if his little sister had returned.

Back in the shop and under the protection of darkness, Kew wept. I wiped the tears from his eyes.

I also rubbed his back, but wondered how that made him feel. He would have men touching him often enough as part of his work in Pattaya. Does simple touch feel innocent any longer, once you start selling your body for a living?

For the countdown before midnight, I walked out of the shop to watch the sky over the Chao Phraya River, where I saw firebursts of fireworks heralding in the New Year. I invited Kew to leave the shop and watch the fireworks with me, but he was not in the mood.

I took Kew home. He wanted to go to yet another karaoke place, but my energy was spent.

Back at the market, we found a noodle shop which was open. I fed him, and gave him his taxi fare back to his place.

My young man has lost none of his charm, but he shoulders a heavy burden for one so young. Still, he loves to share stories, and through talking finds release.

I wonder if he finds many sympathetic ears to his tales of woe - or if people are too busy with their own problems to care about the plight of barboy Kew.

This young man himself determined which course his life would take many years before, when he left school early. He will probably never get that chance back again. Fate might intervene to improve his lot. It could hardly get much worse.

He will be in Bangkok for another two weeks, so I expect to see more of him before his return to Pattaya.

now, see part 4