Young man's burden (2)

I planned to go to Mum's shop, but Kew had other ideas. He refuses to visit her shop again, after Mum insulted his pride last time we were there. Unimpressed with habit of asking me to pay for everything, including his smoking, she threw a packet of cigarettes at him rather than handing them to him politely.

'I know another place nearby, which is just as cheap,' he said enthusiastically.

This shop was five minutes' walk from Mum's own. I met him there. It comprised a small stall and a few tables, and was just metres from the banks of the Chao Phraya River where I met Kew fishing one night, four years before.

About 40 motorcycles were parked next to us. They belonged to customers at a restaurant about 20m along the way, which was doing a lively trade.

Thais like dining in big bar-b-que joints such as this one. Built right on the bank of the river, it has its own band, and large open-air seating area.

'Next time, I will take you there,' I said.

Kew introduced me to the owner of the stall, a man in his 60s who danced to look tung (country music) tunes while serving customers. His little shop, about the same size as Mum's, is a more intimate alternative for those who don't like big, anonymous eateries.

Kew was feeling nostalgic.

'After my girlfriend left me, I used to catch the bus here every night and sit at this shop, or under the bridge to watch the river.

'I came here every night for about two months,' Kew said, describing his early grieving phase after his relationship with his lover of two years ended.

'I would drink two cans of beer, then leave. As I walked here from the bus stop, I saw you sitting at Mum's shop, but I did feel in the mood to say hello, so I stayed away.'

Kew told me the story of their break-up. 'Last time, at Mum's shop, I did not want to tell you in case I started to cry,' he said.

When they met, Kew's girlfriend was just 15.

'I taught her everything I know about life,' he said, sadly.

He was like an older brother to her, as much as he was a boyfriend. They went into business together, selling meatballs on a stick. One day, about four months ago, she went away to her home province to visit her mother. While she was there, she met an old flame.

'When she came back, she told me she wanted to leave me for him. She asked me to let her go,' he said.

The girl's mother has gambling debts, and the boy's family is relatively well-off. Kew, by contrast, has nothing.

'But she is the one who made the decision. Even if her mother pressured her, she was still the one who left me for another man,' says Kew.

The pair now plan to marry - though not everything is happy in the lovers' nest.

'She called me three times today to say the marriage may not go ahead. In that case, she would like to come back. Would you take back a woman who left you for someone else, and who has had sex with another man?' he asked.

'Do you want her back?' I asked.

'No,' he said.

'It sounds to me that she is looking for a sympathetic ear. If you are worried about her, you can offer advice. But you need to keep your roles as former boyfriend and friend separate,' I said.

Encouragingly, Kew has entered a grieving phase where he has started to hate and resent his girlfriend, rather than merely pine for her company as he did initially.

'Have you ever broken up with a girl?' he asked.

'Yes,' I said.

'How long did it take before the suffering went away?'

'Two years.'

'In the beginning, I wondered if falling in love with men would be easier. I thought about turning gay, but I can't, as I am a [real] man,' he said.

now, see part 3