Sunday, 12 April 2009

If I was to leave... (part 1)

I am in love, supposedly. But since my return from a trip to Malaysia with my family, I am feeling restless with my Thai life.

I think often of my home country, the inevitability of retirement 20 years from now, and where I would like to spent the next phase of my life.

Can I see the Thai phase going on forever? Once, yes, but since I went to Malaysia, no. I miss the company of my parents, working in a 'real' job, and friends who speak my language.

I suspect a cunning plot. My parents probably knew that once I had seen other Asian ways - this was my first trip to the Southeast Asian region outside Thailand - I might feel restless.

I have no desire to live in Malaysia, but its similarity with Thailand taught me that Thailand is not so special after all. Thais are friendly, open people, but then so are those in my home country.

I don't want to live elsewhere in Asia. I am done with overseas adventures. Now, I want to go home, or at least that's what my heart appears to be telling me.

Is it permanent, this restlessness which has haunted me since my return?

now, see part 2

2 comments:

  1. 14 comments:

    BODYholic12 April 2009 at 03:56
    "I have no desire to live in Malaysia, but its similarity with Thailand taught me that Thailand is not so special after all."

    Visit Singapore. It will remind you how Thailand is so special.

    ReplyDelete

    Anonymous12 April 2009 at 04:07
    And what about your partner??

    ReplyDelete

    Joey12 April 2009 at 06:36
    I know it's not appropriate to ask this here... but I gotta ask this. Is it not safe at all to visit Bangkok? How does this compared to the last coup of Suvarnabhumi Airport? Is this more serious? I appreciate some comments. Thanx.

    ReplyDelete

    Bkkdreamer12 April 2009 at 06:46
    BODYholic: I agree about Singapore.

    Anon: Watch out for the second part tomorrow.

    Joey: Who told you it's not safe? It's fine...just avoid the tanks, and anyone in a red T-shirt!

    ReplyDelete

    Twilight12 April 2009 at 08:04
    Malaysia is definitely a safer and nicer place to live, trust me! While I love Thailand in general, but Malaysia is a better place for career. This is just a subjective view, mai pen rai. Suk san wan SongKran to U!

    ReplyDelete

    Takashi12 April 2009 at 08:57
    while Malaysia is a good place to live and work in, it comes with a price to pay .. a shitty goverment that is..

    The way I see Thai, is a place to shop, as a tourist, but not actually living there..

    ReplyDelete

    Lino12 April 2009 at 09:28
    Thailand can work with a foreigner if:

    You are there as an employee of a western/developed Asian country..all expenses paid..retirement account accruing.

    You are in teenage or early twenties with money from back home.

    You are retired from a western country with pension and a fair bank account.

    I have met foreigners who came there, so-far the only successful ones were those who formed companies involved in media, particularly film and music production. Must have Thai partner.

    Though I am fairly well-off by western standards, I don't fit any of those categories and I would have to give up my business to relocate.

    I have written this before, Thailand will never be able to offer the kind of social safety net that the big western countries have, whatever they may eventually provide won't likely be available to foreigners.

    The country is entering a -very- dangerous period... I have told my Thai friends to get passports and that there is a spare bedroom in New York if things get too hairy over there.

    That disgraceful collapse of security as the ASEAN conference and last December's events have given the impression that the country is out of control..this is the price of bought law.

    Another consequence is that since Thailand's institutions are mostly corrupt or simply incompetent, social order relies on the goodwill of it's citizens toward each other.

    I like this reality because Thai people are basically decent. But when things begin fray as they are now, the lack of effective government can lead to an overreaction (massacre) when the situation gets out of hand and "authorities" get scared.

    As you know, this has happened in the past but there was always a beloved King to stabilize things (in the Thai view) this is coming to an end.

    I can walk away from that apartment, it's no big deal, but seeing Thailand become another Burma would be heartbreaking.

    BTW: For those who celebrate it: Happy Easter!

    ReplyDelete

    ReplyDelete
  2. Doug12 April 2009 at 10:59
    Having lived in Thailand for three years, I understand the lure of home, and how the lure of home increases whenever you leave (and return to) Thailand. Home is familiar, if nothing else, but you also remember it has sanity, and then you return to Thailand.

    There are three things keeping me in Thailand: the boys are beautiful, the people are good-natured, and it's just different and interesting. These things were quite entertaining at first, but on closer examination they hardly make for a way of life. Cute boys don't equal good relationships: the people here are overwhelmingly selfish and narrow minded, and cute boys seem to have those traits in spades. It is also an intellectually asphyxiating society. Few people have anything to talk about and few interests beyond their immediate quests for food and fashion.

    Trips around Asia, like BKKdreamer's trip to Malaysia, can be eye-opening: Thais have no advantages over other Asians (and some disadvantages), and the arrogance they are taught when growing up is probably a defensive acknowledgment of this fact.

    ReplyDelete

    Kevo3312 April 2009 at 17:03
    Lino: The thought of Thailand turning into another Burma IS truly heartbreaking!
    BKK: I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling so uncertain these days...i can relate in certain ways. My heart is telling me something, i just dont know what...

    ReplyDelete

    Twilight12 April 2009 at 19:49
    I tend to agree with Takashi, Doug and Lino in many areas. I always have heartbreaking scenes whenever I visited Thailand several times a year. Has it got something to do with the Thai government? I am just wondering.

    ReplyDelete

    Bkkdreamer12 April 2009 at 19:53
    Lino:

    'I have met foreigners who came there, so-far the only successful ones were those who formed companies involved in media, particularly film and music production. Must have Thai partner.'

    That sounds like me. I fit in well at work these days, after I have decided to love the place again. However, I wouldn't call myself a success - not in the western sense of having a big income and high status, anyway.

    Kevo33: I hope you find what your hear is trying to tell you. Often simple little things can make us happy. We forget them quickly, but if we weren't with that person, we wouldn't get them at all.

    ReplyDelete

    Bkkdreamer12 April 2009 at 19:56
    Thailand won't become Burma. The government doesn't (yet) take itself seriously enough, thank God.

    Thailand worries too much about what other people think of it.

    A columnist in the Bangkok Post the other day said Thais are obsessed with self-image. Great!

    The government knows how bad it would look overseas if it cracked down too hard. Let's hope it stays that way.

    ReplyDelete

    Kevo3312 April 2009 at 20:16
    BKK- that is very sound advice, I am certain you are right about that.

    I also think you are correct that Thailand will not become Burma- military coups are like the soup de jour, if an extreme government took hold it would most likely be replaced shortly after!

    ReplyDelete

    Kevo3312 April 2009 at 20:18
    Btw i also hope you find what your heart is telling you, even if it means going home (though that would end such a good blog)
    I hope you dont get caught up thinking the only form of success is the type we westerners think of.
    In the end, money and power mean nothing, only happiness.

    ReplyDelete

    ReplyDelete

Comments are welcome, in English or Thai (I can't read anything else). Anonymous posting is discouraged, unless you'd like to give yourself a name at the bottom of your post, so we can tell who you are.