Kathoey affectation, ear affection

I took Maiyuu out for lunch yesterday.

The green place which we ate in last time was closed - the staff were standing outside the shop, squirting water at Songkran passers-by - so we kept walking down Soi Sri Bumpen.

We walked right past the gay cafe, which bores us both. Maiyuu has never eaten there, but I have, and told him about it.

The gay cafe is owned by a farang guy and his Thai gay mate, a showy type who parades himself before customers, making a spectacle of his gayness.

If he has his hands full serving, he uses his butt to open the glass door. That's for the benefit of customers. Ooh, how naughty!

For those of us who have seen it all before, the reaction is more jaded: 'Yes, darling, we know you have a butt.'

We ended up at a steak house which my friend, farang C, tells me is run by Burmese. They work 12 hours a day, he says.

I told Maiyuu how hard they work. He said nothing, but did not look impressed.

Opposite the steak eatery is a bar which attracts many farang tourists.

A handful of kathoey and showy gay types was there. Some wore denim shorts so small they reminded me of teabags.

White underwear, de rigueur for the tacky bar set, peaked over the top, down the sides, out the bottom...all over in fact, as there was nowhere else for it to go.

Squealing, prancing and preening, two or three kathoey walked on to the street to hail a tuk tuk for Silom.

Trailing after them was a fair-headed farang guy in his 20s, no doubt a tourist. So you thought you were straight, did you? Welcome to Thailand!

He looked embarrassed, yet also enthralled.

I suppose he had made the common mistake of befriending them over a drink, and now could not get rid of them.

Maiyuu watched with interest.

'Oh-ho!' he said, the Thai equivalent of 'Wow, or 'How about that!'

What he meant was: 'Sluts!'

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I have picked up an ear infection from the condo pool. Water entered my ear, and won't come out. An infection has taken hold, and appears to be spreading...last night my jaw felt sore, my glands had swollen.

In Soi Sri Bumpen, I bought ear drops to clear the infection, and Actifed to stop the ringing in my ears.

The ear drops are called S. M. Oto, made in Thailand. 'For the treatment of ear affections,' says the box.

Ear affections? Left to Maiyuu - who reckons I over-dramatise illnesses when they strike - that word should probably read 'Affectations'. Of course I am not really sick - just pretending.

I asked him to apply the eardrops yesterday afternoon. Ouch! Could we do it a little more sensitively please? After work last night, I did it myself.

Maiyuu himself is feeling out of sorts, with a headache, and sore throat. An affection, my dear - or mere infection? Tell Daddy what he needs to know, so he can spend money to make you better.