Tuesday 5 May 2009

Invasion of privacy, Patsy lament

I am in trouble after Maiyuu yesterday found some of my recent blog posts about him.

'You talk about my life in too much detail. When people meet me after reading your blog they will hold me in contempt,' he says.

I told Maiyuu that my purpose in writing about him is to show that our lives can still work together, even if we come from different backgrounds and cultures.

However, that sounds lame. I agree with him, I have been disclosing too much detail about our lives.

Ultimately it is no one else's business but our own, and I do not want to hurt my own boyfriend by writing stories about him for the benefit of readers on the internet who don't even know us.

'I don't use your real name, nor my own,' I reminded him.

'I know that, but I still meet your friends, some of whom will have read your blog. You tell people that I have no education, that I am this, that...'

Finding those posts must have hurt, but I have never hidden the blog from Maiyuu.

I have asked him to write for it more than once, and when he read it yesterday it was at my own invitation.

He just spent more time with the thing than he normally does...though probably not long enough to know that I also write flattering things about our relationship, when it is going well.

'I don't mind if you criticise me...you just write too much about our lives, as some of that stuff should remain private.'

You know what? I am inclined to agree ... I do say too much. From now on I shall try to be more circumspect and judicious about what I offer readers on this blog.

-
Blogger Bangkok Bugle writes that True Visions - provider of our satellite TV service - intends axing the BBC Entertainment channel from its line-up this month.

I enjoy watching British dramas, sitcoms and soaps. Maiyuu and I are addicted to re-runs of Absolutely Fabulous - so much so that we remind each other during the day whenever the adventures of Patsy and Eddie are next due to pop up on our TV.

If the BCC is axed, then True can probably kiss our subscription goodbye. See Bangkok Bugle's post here [link deleted - it died]. He is encouraging subscribers to join an email campaign against the change. I have sent my protest email; I encourage other readers who feel the same way to do the same.

3 comments:

  1. 17 comments:

    Anonymous4 May 2009 at 18:48
    So what will that leave for your blog? Thai stars and a daily cooking report?

    I think Maiyuu should be less concerned over your telling the truth and more concerned about what that truth means.

    So how is the whole cancer/insurance savings scheme thing going? Maybe he could pay with the I-phone from that source- or perhaps the money he got to pay workers to paint your last apartment? He's such a good planner with money- that's why you give him all of yours, right?

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    Was Once4 May 2009 at 19:10
    You do create a dividing line of who Maiyuu is to the readers, and who is in real life between you, too. Whether or not it is all true(it is one-sided at the least), it is probably not a good idea to talk about someone you are close too in a negative manner. It will come back to haunt you somewhere and sometime. Just my 2 cents, and from past experience.

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    Anonymous4 May 2009 at 19:27
    I agree with WasOnce- or at least, if you are going to do it, you need to make your blog really, really anonymous- no one you really know should know about your blog, especially people you are writing about.

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    matt4 May 2009 at 20:17
    i should add, too, that maiyuu sounds extraordinarily reasonable in this post. although i love to read about your lives, i can't help but sympathize with his point of view here.

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    neil4 May 2009 at 21:26
    Cats out of the sack now.
    I would hope he reads all the posts about him, and the comments. He will see, as we all know, you love him and depend on him. Small over the fence chatter (blogging) is meaningless.

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    Asia in Australia4 May 2009 at 21:42
    Interesting, I was going to tell my bf yesterday about my blog, but didnt.

    Bkkdreamer's blog is a way from him to let off steam, a way to talk to a (mostly anonymous) public about his everyday life.

    most people will never see or know bkkdreamer or maiyuu so maiyuu should not care about them.

    the few people that meet the couple in reality should be smart enough to know that what bkkdreamer writes is just a snippet of real life.

    if we think any worse of him because his parents died early, then we are to blame.

    the ipod however...is an entirely different issue...

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  2. Bkkdreamer4 May 2009 at 23:50
    Anon: I am no longer sure what to make of any of those episodes (mini-crises, really, like the present one over the I-Phone) that you mention, but nor do I care.

    We stay together for as long as we can make it work...that means, for as long as we are both happy.

    Relationships are not easy, especially when they cross cultures. But I love talking to Thais and learning about them, so for as long as that carries on, then we as a couple are likely to carry on, too.

    Matt: He does sound reasonable, I agree.

    Was Once/Anon: I try to be fair. I can't be anything else.

    Neil: I hope he does spend longer reading the blog. I told him the same thing last night, when we had one of our little talks.

    BB: He was naughty buying the phone on HP, but I can also sympathise...he could not have bought it otherwise. We have rarely saved in the past, and we do not use credit cards, which limits our purchasing options.

    We are about to start a savings plan, which should ease the pressure in that respect.

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    Anonymous5 May 2009 at 09:29
    If my boyfriend wrote on a blog about every time I pissed him off I'd be infuriated and probably dump him unless it was completely anonymous; which from
    my understanding this blog is (mostly) in which case I would ask him why he doesn't talk to me about our problems. The worst thing is when they complain to theirs or your mutual friends about you.

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    Anonymous5 May 2009 at 10:48
    I blog about my boyfriend,fiance, now husband a lot. Especially when I need to just get it out before talking to him about it. So for me, I see no serious wrong in writing what you feel. Blogging is the new diary. But I do think that you should apologized if what you said seriously hurt your feeling then tell him why you wrote what you wrote cus that is your feelings being uneasy too.

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    Leon Koh5 May 2009 at 11:23
    its already to post your feeling and althoughts.. I mean its good to be frank and truthful to life :)

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    BODYholic5 May 2009 at 12:01
    "We have two new furniture additions to the household - a small wooden table which sits in front of the TV, and a wooden-framed mirror"

    The picture of the sofa and the wooden coffee table is interesting. Kinda East meets West, just like Maiyuu and you. :)

    I like the coffee table. In fact, I love things which are in Earth tone.

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    Anonymous5 May 2009 at 14:53
    I understand why Maiyuu would not like what's written, considering your friends read the blog.

    J

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    Bkkdreamer5 May 2009 at 18:26
    BODYholic: I like the furniture he has chosen, too.

    Anon J: I have four friends who read it. I have met three personally; the other is an email friend.

    Maiyuu has met them too. That's it!

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  3. Kevo335 May 2009 at 20:17
    Maybe start making a point to include something positive in as many post as possible? Good things MUST happen between you two every day, or you wouldnt stay together.

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    Orn6 May 2009 at 06:03
    If Maiyuu does read the blog he will know that to the majority this blog doesn't really identify him or you anywhere..therefore most readers won't be able to know his identity...

    As for some whom you have met and have read the blog - I'm assuming just a small number. So it shouldn't worry him...

    I hope not anyways as I enjoy reading your business too much 55+

    If Maiyuu does run into the blog then I better leave him a little supportive message

    "Maiyuu soo soo! Maiyuu fighting!!"

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    Bkkdreamer6 May 2009 at 08:10
    Kevo, Orn:

    The stories about Maiyuu will continue, as no one else on the net covers the ups and downs in his relationship with his Thai boyfriend in such detail.

    Thank you for the words of encouragement. I do try to leave positive stories about Maiyuu: almost anything concerning his cooking is positive, as I get to eat the fruits of his kitchen labours!

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    Bev6 May 2009 at 13:04
    Hello,
    My name is Bev and I just came across your blogs today.
    So from reading over just a few, I get the idea that your boyfriend is thai and your from some other nationality?
    If that is true then it is very inveresting for me! Because I just started dating a Thai boy six months ago and I'm a canadian girl. It is very interesting for me to learn about his culture... I think it is also very interesting for his family and friends to learn he has a Canadian girlfriend. I really want to know more about his culture and he is gone back to Thailand now so I'm trying to learn a bit of his language for when he comes back.
    But I would really like some advice.
    Please get back to me?
    Thanks

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Comments are welcome, in English or Thai (I can't read anything else). Anonymous posting is discouraged, unless you'd like to give yourself a name at the bottom of your post, so we can tell who you are.