Carefree Thai boyfriends, passing the living-together test

Fellow blogger BB reckons Bangkok 'must be one of the worst places in the world to find a boyfriend'.

They are unreliable, childish, speak a different language, and are hopeless in bed, he says. But it's not just him alone - see the comments left in response to his main post here.

A follow-up is here.

I can't speak from experience, as I have had only one Thai boyfriend.

At times, he has been all of the above. It depends on when you ask me.

Readers of this blog have remarked more than once about how my moods swing drastically from one day to the next: one moment, the boyfriend is in my good books. The next, he's a loser, and I can't wait to go back overseas.

Fine, I say: You try living with one!

Occasionally I feel sorry for Maiyuu. I wonder if he has anyone who really understands him, other than this most unreliable of candidates - me. His own friends rarely ask him what he is doing with his life.

Likewise, he rarely asks them about any of the things which as farang we regard as important: Do you have a job? How's it going? How's the boyfriend, family? Are you happy?

They talk about other things...I can't remember quite what, as I do not mix with Maiyuu and his friends.

He has gone out for three of the last four nights. They must find something to talk about, even if it's none of the important stuff.

Miayuu's purchase of an I-Phone over my objections will have far-reaching repercussions for our relationship, because Maiyuu will have to work to meet the hire purchase payments every month.

Earlier, he proposed finding the money from my earnings, by cutting down on the amount he spends cooking and baking.

Later, after I objected, he agreed that I should not have to pay for the purchase. He will find the money himself, he says.

That means no more idle days spent at home watching TV, or, as the mood takes him, baking up delights he has seen on Martha Stewart's show.

He might well enjoy being a nester - making our condo cosy for when I come home at night - but that only works as long as we do not feel the financial pinch.

Since he has bought his blasted I-Phone, Maiyuu has in any case reverted to being a kid.

He rarely ventures into the kitchen any more, still less does anything with me outdoors, such as walking to the supermarket, or visiting the condo pool. He devotes every moment to exploring the inner recesses of his I-Phone - downloading this, poking away at that.

Fascinating - except Maiyuu is now an adult, aged 30 (or is it 31).

Hopefully, the novelty will fade before too long, because he's capable of so much better.

Judging by comments left in response to BB's blog posts, foreigners look for Thai boyfriends who are playful, childish and cute.

Oh, please. Is it because Thai guys look cute, that we assume they should act cute as well? Stand up all those foreigners who have lived with Thais, and still think their main duty in life is to be 'cute'.

I doubt many foreigners would tolerate a Thai partner who - abandoning himself to the childish behaviour which his foreigner boyfriend supposedly encourages - spends recklessly, won't work and is not prepared to pay his way.

If we have to live with these people every day, our 'specs' would soon change. We would demand our Thai mate starts thinking and acting like an adult, because a partnership demands nothing less.

No one person should have to do everything in a relationship. We have to help each other get through the day. If that sounds unromantic to you, that's because it is - life is a chore, and there's no getting around it.