A cockroach for the neighbour

Even though I am on a diet, I still take my duties as Maiyuu’s test taster seriously. For if it were not for me, where else would he turn – the condo cleaner? The poor kids who live in the slum area across the way? He has to know whether his creations have worked.

The rest of the diet is going well. Maiyuu went out last night, so ordered a pizza for me. I ate most of that too, but I sure it won’t make much difference.

Earlier, he made pasta with pesto sauce. It’s green, so it must have been good for me.

I am now jogging up the ramps of my condo building twice a day, up from one previously. I am also trying to go without my afternoon sleep, though it is hard. At work last night, I felt sleepy, lethargic, and generally non-alert. In the Land of Sleep - oops, Smiles - Will anyone notice?

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A couple of bitchy gay readers left nasty remarks recently about how this blog has descended into a cooking farce...a mere food blog, where before I used to post exciting things like guy pics, for example.

‘Maiyuu’s cooking is just poor knock-offs of that lousy stuff which Martha makes,’ they said.

You snobs! When you can whip up something this delicious after watching a TV show, let me know. When you are spending even half an hour a day in your kitchen creating, please do likewise.

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Thank you for the responses to my diet plan, discussed in yesterday’s post. I deleted several bitchy responses. One said I would have to take ‘drastic’ measures, as I was way too fat.

Another suggested I toss out everything from the fridge. Oh, disappear, food Nazis.

Anon the Shrink also waded in. Normally I would post the Shrink for his entertainment value, but this particular post failed to make the grade...he can’t have been feeling his normal bitchy, resentful, envious self. I deleted him.

I would like to meet Anon the Shrink, to give him a piece of my mind. We can match wits. We can even compare waist sizes. How about it?

Small caveat: We would have to meet in the centre of town, as I don’t like leaving my comfort zone. I propose that we allow ourselves to bring along one friend each, for moral support.

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I found a large cockroach in the bathroom. I grabbed a dustpan and broom, and tried to scoop it up. I couldn’t hold it. Next, I tried to crush the thing with the dustpan; that didn’t work either. It ran for cover under the couch.

I pondered what to do next. Boyfriend Maiyuu was away, so I couldn’t cry like a girl for help. I looked up. The bugger was scuttling across the floor, on the other side of the condo. How do they move so fast?

I found a plastic bag. By the time I looked up, it had moved on again. I was determined not to touch it. I am a clean person, but cockroaches are not. Even if I grabbed the thing with the plastic bag, in my hand, I could probably still feel the thing squirming – no thanks.

I grabbed the dustpan and broom again. By this time, it was running across the floor towards the front door. Oh, happy day. I opened the door, and gave the thing a big swoosh with my broom – straight at a primary school student sitting on the door step opposite.

I didn’t see her– honest.

My neighbour was putting on her shoes for school, but didn’t seem to notice that I was sweeping a cockroach her way. She looked scared and apprehensive, but no more than the average Thai when she sees a foreigner.

That’ll learn you, dear – get close to a farang, and there’s bound to be trouble.