The lax disciplinarian

Ball and I had our first argument in the 10 months we have known each other - over a misbehaving child, no less.

Ball is close to Fresh, one of the household's two toddlers, who last night was crying and throwing tantrum on the living room floor.

After initially ignoring her, Ball picked her up and started making a fuss. When this didn't work, he told her to be quiet, and smacked her bottom lightly - then want back to consoling her again.

The child refused to shut up, and was making such a noise that elder sister Kae came downstairs to pick her up.

As soon as Kae picked her up, Fresh stopped crying. I knew there was nothing wrong with her...she was just drawing attention to herself.

While she was crying, I told Ball several times to ignore her. I asked if I could smack her, and called her a few choice names in English.

Fresh knew I was angry, and when my tone of voice hardened she stepped up the crying another few notches, the way kids like to do.

After Kae took the child away, Ball told me he did not approve of my behaviour. 'You have given Kae a reason to criticise you after you go home tonight,' he said.

'We have never argued before, but I found what you said was just wrong. I regard Fresh as my own daughter and dislike other people disciplining her,' he said.

He also disagreed with the way I called the baby 'ít' in Thai, a common enough reaction when people are annoyed. He said I should have called Fresh by her name.

I defended my corner briefly, but in the end apologised, as I couldn't be bothered. Ball has never challenged me before, and I found the experience upsetting.

Ball apologised to me, though did su surreptitiously, as his girlfriend Jay was in the same room as us, reading.

He wrote me three messages on my cellphone instead: 'I am sorry...I don't want my sister criticising you...can we go back to the way we were?' he asked.

I said we could, and soon after left for home. I have been upset about our little disagreement ever since.

Kids are forever on the lookout for signs of weakness in parents.

If parents console them when they are being bad - or, worst of all, give them treats to shut them up - they are sending the kids the message that it is okay to misbehave.

'Not so long from now, you will get the chance to decide for yourself how kids should be disciplined, as you will have one of your own,' I told him.

'I am pleased this has happened, and you should discuss it with your girlfriend. You will have to decide how you want your child to be raised.'