Tempting offer, sleepless nights, lost cause

Chef Maiyuu has cooked up a few desserts lately, almost as if he wants me to cross the 100kg body-weight threshold in style.

He’ll have to try harder...the last time I checked, a day ago, I had lost a little bit, and was down to 98.6kg. I have not yet reached 100kg, which I fear would be the point of no return.


Valentine's khao tom surprise

I used to be handsome. Now, in the eyes of those Thais who like a fulsome farang figure, I am merely ‘cute’ (narak).

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My body won't let me sleep. Two weeks ago, I spent a fitful night worried about something; I didn't enter the land of nod until 4am.

Since then, my body has reset its clock and now believes that 4am is my normal bed time, even when my eyes are popping out with exhaustion.

It lets me sleep about 4am, but not before. I might have to take a couple of sleeping pills tonight, as this can't go on.

I hate tossing and turning for four hours a night. What is there to think about?

I have no idea, but my head finds enough stuff to occupy my exhausted mind.

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At his mother’s request, I dropped in to see Ball.

He was heading out for a job interview at a hotel, and looked smart.

His girlfriend Jay, who is pregnant and quit work to prepare herself for the big day about a month ago, saw him off.

‘Would you like to raise him at your place?’ asked Ball’s mother, who seems forever short of money.

Last week, I dropped in briefly most days, only to find her sitting with friends drinking the brown stuff.

A few days passed. On Friday, when I called in again, she proposed I shout the family to a moo kra ta meal (Korean-style bar-b-que).

‘Everyone wants to eat it, including him,’ she said, referring to Ball, who was playing on the computer.

‘How much?’ I asked.

‘About B500 should do it,’ she said.

I left promptly. That’s too much, even if I haven’t seen them in a while. And I was working that night, so I would have no chance to join them.

That night, Mum called, no doubt wanting to know if I was going to drop in with her B500. I ignored it.

She has referred to the money again since. 'I had to pay, because you didn't come!' she said.

Mum would still like me to help, even after the event.

I can’t see the point in giving away money when Ball has yet to find work. Why reward poor behaviour?

Other reasons are that I don’t see them that much any more; and the mother is forever wasting money on the brown stuff, then pleading poverty after the event.

You’re on your own, dear...good luck!